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with Tom Brady for two years now has finally made statements about his son, John Edward that he had with Bridget Moynahan. From my understandings, many believe she was in the wrong when she made the following comment to the press.

“I understand that he has a mom, and I respect that.  But to me, it’s not like because somebody else delivered him, that’s not my child. I feel it is, 100 percent.”

Keep in mind she was dating Tom when he got the news that his ex as pregnant, so she’s kind of known Little John his entire life.

“It was definitely a surprise for both of us.  You’re thinking this can’t be true, it’s so good! And then whoops, wake-up call!”

“I want him to have a great relationship with his mom because that’s important. But I love him the same way as if he were mine.”

Out of all honesty I thin it is great that she looks at this little guy as her own. It shows she loves him unconditionally.  I know some stepparents that just can’t do that no matter what. But since I’m not a stepparent, has she ovesteppd her boundries? Should she back off? Should she love him less?

Post from: Blisstree

Gisele Bundchen: Step-Parent Boundries

A few facts:

• The son lives with the father and stepmom.
• Stepmom has child who is 18 and lives with father.
• Husband manages household finances in one account.
• Wife is told they are too broke and can’t give her son money for car repairs
• Husband spends a great deal on his child’s sports activities
• The couple have a small toddler together

Given that set of circumstances above, what do you think would be the best solution for this families conflict?

Being in a blended family and second marriage, I believe whole-heartedly in split finances. I know resentment can grow when one parent takes more than their share from the family budget for their own kids – but if the parents contribute their own portion to the family budget and then provide for their children out of what’s left over, that’s entirely up to them what and how it’s spent.

If the mother has two kids and the father has one kid living in the household from the previous marriage – then the father would be responsible for 2 parts of the overall household budget while the mother is responsible for 3 parts. I believe in equal portions.

Being in a blended family is very different. Resentment can set in and grow – and finances seem to be the primary cause of those resentments. I believe in eliminating the potential for conflict from the start. Keep the bank accounts separate.

What are your thoughts? Please do share!

Post from: Blisstree

Second Marriages, Blended Families and Separate Finances

One thing that I’d like to see from some of the reality television shows is a bit more focus on blended families.  Check out some of the statistics in the United States alone:

• One million American children experience divorce every year.
• Single parent families increased from 13% of the U.S. family population in 1970 to 31% in 1994
• 56% of divorced children had no contact whatsoever with their fathers in the first year after divorce, and 23% had no contact after five years.
• Divorced children had the deepest feelings of anger, fear, and rejection of any childhood group, and were three times as likely to receive professional help as kids from intact families.
• Suicide rates for teenage males increased 557% from 1946 to 1988.The single best predictor of teen suicide was parental divorce and living in a single parent household.
• Rates of depression, low self-esteem, drug and alcohol abuse, and juvenile delinquency were all significantly higher for children of divorce.
• Divorced children drop out of school at twice the rate of children from intact families. They were twice as likely to be suspended or expelled from school, and consistently showed lower test scores, lower grades, and more placement in special and remedial classes.
• Early sexual behavior was more frequent among divorced children
• Divorced children were far more likely to cohabit and not marry.

Via – AACC (American Association of Christian Counselors) website: http://www.aacc.net/

Given that I’m divorced myself, married to a divorced man and between the two of us, we have four children – I can certainly see how some blended families could benefit from neutral intervention or professional observation and instruction.

Of course in the situation of my husband and I, we deal so heavily with mama drama - if only there was a Super Nanny for adults.

Now there’s a heck of an idea for a reality based television series.  Why not send Super Nanny or one of her peers into the homes of blended families where she’d spend half her visit at the custodial parents and the other half at the non-custodial parents. 

Perhaps giving the adults a little more instruction on how to create a healthy divorce situation for the children could minimize the horrifying statistics that are shown above.

Post from: Blisstree

Blended Families