It’s funny.  I have no desire to withhold nourishment from my body even though:
a) In the past year, I’ve put on a few pounds.  (Only 5-7, but it seems like a zillion.)
b)  I’m unhappy about the “Santa’s-bowl-full-of-jelly-belly” nature of my thighs and derriere.
c)  I feel unsexy and downright blechy.
Yet I honestly don’t want to starve myself.
It’s weird. 
Usually, my first thoughts in this situation are, “Dear god!  How can I make all this GO AWAY?!?  Stop eating!” 
Could I have overcome a hurdle, slight though it may be?  The self-loathing is holding strong (unfortunately), but the desire to deny myself food isn’t occurring (woo hoo). 
Of course, …read more

Like every recovered (which is a process unto itself) anorexic, I have my triggers. 
These are those “little things” that can really send me reeling.  My first thought is usually, “I have to stop eating… NOW!”  Fortunately, my second thought is, “Um… that’d be stupid.”  Then, my last thought is, “Hey… why don’t I blog about this craziness?”  *smiles*
I wanted to share with you some of the things that really send me straight into Ana-thinking.  Please feel free to add your own!  I’d like to hear what “triggers” you…
MY TRIGGERS

Sleep Deprivation.  (I’m talking serious stuff — like insomnia.  That makes me …read more