I have heard snippets here and there around the internet of CDD or Christian Domestic Discipline.  I have been researching it a bit because I am just that concerned about being very accurate in my writing.  While some of you may know what it is, some of you may not so here is a quick definition as I understand it…

Christian Domestic Discipline is the administration of consensual spankings (of the wife) in marriage and are not necessarily sexual in nature.  The husband may choose to spank the wife if she is disobedient in some way, but the wife does not spank the husband.  Because it is consensual it is not considered by the practitioners to be domestic abuse and they believe it is Biblical and part of a healthy, loving relationship.

Now, before we get in to this too far, let me say that I do believe in wives being submitted to their husband. … Here, Marc is the final authority on the decisions.  It works for us.  Spanking? Uh, no.  No thanks.

The CDD people use the following scriptures to back up their views:

• Ephesians 5:22
  
• Colossians 3:18
• 1 Peter 3:1
  
• Hebrew 13:17

Now, the Bible does say in those that women are to be subject to their husbands but in all of the study I have done I have not seen the Bible recommend spanking of wives.

Basically, if we were practicing CDD Marc could choose to spank me if I  did something that broke an agreed upon rule of the house.  It would be up to us if sexual contact followed that spanking and how we handled matters of privacy within the home… ie: would the children witness the spanking.

Although CDD sites say that Christian Domestic Discipline is not sexual in intent I am skeptical. Alot of people get off on spankings.  Personally, if Marc spanked me I am pretty sure he would need stitches afterward…I am one of those feisty types that not many men can handle.

Maybe I need a spanking?

So.  Thoughts? Do you practice Christian Domestic Discipline? Pros? Cons? Do you think it is a nice, religious term for domestic violence or light bdsm?

image: marye audet

Post from: Blisstree

Christian Domestic Discipline…Love or Violence?

Another Friday and it is time for…My Husband Rocks!

One of the  ways that Marc rocks is in an area that I have seen alot of men totally NOT. ROCK.  Leadership.

It seems to me that when men hear the words authority and submission they either decide that they are to be addressed as “Your Majesty” OR they decide that it is all too overwhelming to figure out and become passive, allowing their wives to run the show…and carry all of the burdens.

Marc is so really gifted at loving leadership, taking the role of the servant in so many ways.  Many men that had to deal with the type of pain and issues that Marc does would be sitting in front of the t.v. or whining and complaining.  Marc doesn’t.   He has some days that are better than others…this has been a particularly tough wek for him pain-wise and his thoughts are a little foggy from the medications, but he always is looking for ways to make things easier for me, to serve me, to be a loving leader.

As he worked less and I worked more he took over the laundry, alot of the homeschooling, much of the supervision of the kids.  It has been hard because I feel that those are MY areas and I don’t feel that I am being the mom and wife I want to be.  This is where we are right now..

But Marc is always figuring out ways to do things…chainsawing the wood for winter sitting  down because he can’t stand and do it.. ignoring pain to work on repairs or whatever, going grocery shopping with me so we can have some time together…even though that means he will be on his feet on his crutches and it will hurt.

He has never told me what to do although he knows that if he makes a decision I will comply.  He has never taken advantage of that.  He has never gotten defensive when I have talked to him about Mr. Grumpy or other issues.

Marc rocks because he is everything a man should be, even in very difficult times.

Image:Morguefile

Post from: Blisstree

My Husband ROCKS! Friday

Still there is a section at the end that caught my attention. Paul is unabashedly urging the members of the church not to marry. Here’s an excerpt:

And I want you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the things of the world, how to please his wife, and he is divided. An unmarried woman or a virgin is concerned about the things of the Lord, to be holy both in body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the things of the world, how to please her husband. I am saying this for your benefit, not to place a limitation on you, but so that without distraction you may give notable and constant service to the Lord.

There is a reality acknowledged here that tends to be forgotten, namely that marriage requires two people to come to one decision about major life choices. Paul’s religious application aside, these words remind us that a marriage consists of two independent people. When two people get married there is no magic that suddenly causes them to desire the same things, to have the same life goals. Likewise, there is no magic that causes a married couple to continually mature and change in ways that keep them together.

No, the reality is there will always be a tension. Throughout a marriage, the desires of each individual will pull against the commitment to a unified life expressed by the marriage vows. In little ways and big, each spouse will be faced with a choice many times over throughout his or her marriage: Will I choose my independence or will I choose my marriage?

This is not to say that the two choices will always run counter to one another. There will be times when the path of individual growth runs parallel to the path of marriage. Those times should be cherished, for they give the sensation of soaring as you mature both individually and as a couple. But it is not always thus.

Nor do I mean that one must always sacrifice his – or more commonly her – individual growth for the other’s individual growth. No, that is domination and subjugation, and they have no part in marriage. Rather, I am referring to “mutual submission,” if I may use another expression from the New Testament, where each spouse submits his or her independent will to the mutual marriage commitment.

It is as if marriage brings a third entity into existence. When two people marry, they create a third thing, the marriage itself. In order to live and grow and thrive, the marriage must be fed by each spouse. Each one must regularly pour something of him or herself into the marriage, so that the marriage, acting as a reservoir, can overflow and return those resources when needed. The flow through the marriage cannot for any length of time be one way, instead each spouse must add to it by renewing their commitment to it and submitting their independence to it.

Post from: Blisstree

Independence vs. Marriage