I may paint a seemingly-bleak picture of my eating disordered teen years, but as I look back, all was not terrible.  In fact, there were some reasonable times when I abandoned my anorexic ways for a few weeks… but I would always return to them.
Eighth grade, the first year of my “official” ana status (in my opinion), was exciting but always somewhat overwhelming.  I was quickly losing weight, but confidence in my appearance wasn’t occurring simultaneously.  That school year was definitely spent experimenting with different ways to starve, hide food, avoid eating, and the like.
The next year, ninth grade, was …read more

It’s funny the things you remember when you reflect on an Ana-filled youth.
One of the strongest memories I have is of a day when I was probably 14 or 15.
I had starved myself throughout the day, trying very hard to fast.  (We all know where that can land a person… but I digress…)
Then I encounted The Box of Cheez-Its.
Suddenly, all I could think about were those orange squares of salty snacking goodness.
I tried to resist them.  I tried to tell myself I could just fall asleep and perhaps eat one in the morning as a reward.  I tried to berate …read more