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Each teen was part of a group called, “Neighborhood Service Organization’s Youth Initiatives Project” and there were over 100 people listening to this meeting. The kids asked some very smart questions that while it may always be on everyone’s mind it is never really asked. Take a peek at the questions below:

Detroit Free Press reported the following questions:

-  How will you guys help to lower the trafficking of drugs?
-  What can you do to get kids home safely?
-  How are you going to stop the gangbangers, robbers and other violence?
-  I live in this neighborhood, and I’m tired of hearing gunshots. What are you going to do about it?

The teens went on to question each candidate what they were like as teens and if they did anything to help the community. Unfortunetley the article didn’t have the response to these candidates but it sounds like there is a very smart group of teens that would possibly make some really good leaders one day.

I think this is a very good thing and maybe something we should get more teens involved in. After all if we know what they really think and feel maybe we can all come together to help one another. Sure there are some that just won’t care but there are others out there that do care and are normally looked over. Give teens the chance to stand up and speak out and we may start hearing some really good solutions. Do you think the teens should get a say in who runs for City Council? What do you think?

source

Post from: Blisstree

Teens Question City Hall Candidates

Sometimes people get jealous. They worry that someone is slipping away, that they are losing their influence. They worry that they might be losing the love or complete attention of another person and when this happens, they turn to coercion. They hit on a person’s frailties, on his or her fears until they chip away a chunk of their confidence. I’m talking their self-confidence as well as the confidence that they may have in their relationship. I find this sort of selfish and destructive behavior disgusting.

When I heard the “deceitful” statement, it was clearly a case of an individual parroting another persons bad intentions. These teenagers are still figuring things out. They need a supportive environment to do that. They don’t need outside sources filling their heads with doubts. How are they supposed to develop healthy relationships if their biggest influences are not healthy to start with? If things do not work out between them, they will still take the lessons that they learned during this relationship with them. They will suspect the next person is deceitful or jealous or whatever term they throw at each other.

Sorry to be a bit on the cryptic side, but we just had a scene here that was ridiculous and totally without merit. I do not appreciate people messing with the kids. Teenagers are not property to control. They are young adults who will soon be on their own, especially when they are 17 and almost 18. They deserve the best guidance we have to give. 

Image credit: Chase Your Bliss Photography

Post from: Blisstree

Be A Good Example For Teens

They arrived when I was making dinner, packed his stuff up, and left. I had no idea he was leaving that day – Bay didn’t say a word. I knew that he was going to leave this Summer, but not when. Later, she told me that they were also broken-up. I’m not sure where they stand now. I don’t want to push her – she will talk to me about it when she feels up to it.

Bailey is doing pretty good. She can’t talk about it, but she’s not crying all day, so that’s a good sign. She’s talking about looking for a job and has plans to go hang out with her friend, Sarah.

I don’t know how Greg is doing. She’s spoken to him. He was okay when he left.

Our house is so quiet without Greg’s rumbley voice. I miss hearing the kids laughing in Bay’s room. He’s a good kid. I wish him the best, but right now, it feels like he broke up with all of us. Sarah and I miss him a lot. Kitty is pretty lost.

Break-ups suck. Plain and simple. I’ve been both the break-up-er and the break-up-ee. Neither feels good, both carry a large helping of pain and guilt. I hope that the kids are able to figure this out.

In the meantime, they can do some thinking, spend some time with their friends. They’ve been pretty much in each other’s pocket for awhile. They could use a little wiggle-room, a little growing up time.  They are very young and this could actually be a good thing.

I just want my daughter to be happy.

Image credit: Chase Your Bliss Photography

Post from: Blisstree

Maybe They Are Taking A Break

IMG: sxc.hu

For now, you have been designated the anti-boredom police and you better figure something out before they drive you insane. Sure, you can pull out that box of arts and crafts, paper and crayons but honestly how long will that last before you hear those phrases again? You need a plan and a list of other ideas. Lets work together and come up with some.

Young Kids
- water play: You can get a bunch of buckets or pots and pans out and fill a pool with water and let the young ones have at it. Don’t forget to toss in a few plastic spoons so they can pretend to cook and bang away on the pots. Kids love exploring and the way the water falls. Since you do have them near the water and possibly in it don’t forget to apply sunblock so they don’t burn.

- sand play: Fill a designated area up with sand and give them a few beach toys to have their own time with. Don’t forget to toss in a few hot wheels so they can play crash up derby.

- chalk: This seems to take on a fun all on its own, some kids will draw for hours, others will write message and yet some are more creative and draw entire towns. These days Crayola has a ton of chalk tools you can buy to add to the fun, these can normally be found at Walmart, Target, Toys R Us, etc.

- bubbles: What child doesn’t like to blow bubbles? Make your own or buy them, now days they even have these miracle bubbles that never pop…well they do eventually but it isn’t like normal bubbles. Plus there are all types of wands, big, small and huge or just use the bubble blower and have a little bubble party.

- swimming pool (the tiny wading ones)- Kids love swimming, mine did even when they didn’t like the bathtub and trust me I considered tossing in the bar of soap. Fill a pool up and let them play until they are all prunes or until they start to shiver. Have towels nearby so they can lay out to dry.

Middle-age Children
- bike riding: Every child seems to love the freedom of a bike, maybe its just knowing they are doing it on their own or the way the wind blows against your face even when there is none. I remember playing bike tag with my dad and some friends growing up. No matter what they decide to do, make sure they are wearing their helmets properly.

- fishing/skipping rope: I’ll never forget the look on my kids’ faces when I put that rod in their hand and showed them how to cast. Or the look on their face as they brought their first fish in….err I mean crab. Children love to learn new things and fishing is defnitely one of them, course you may discover you’ve got one child that won’t touch the worm. My papa taught me a way around that though, simply place a fake one on or a mini marshmallow. Shhh, we won’t tell no one. Skipping rope, hopscotch, soccer, etc are other games they may like to learn to play outside too.

- reading: It’s summertime and schools and libraries probably worked together to encourage your child to read so many books this summer. Why shouldn’t they right? Help them out by taking some time yourself to read a book in front of them, maybe have an afternoon of reading or a certain hour. I remember “Freshman Dorms” that was a book series I read one summer, the entire summer. You’d always catch me with those books nearby.

- playing with their friends: If their friends are nearby they’ll probably want to hang with them, in your house, their house or in the yard. This can be a lifesaver if they’ve been cooped up in the house too long and they are getting on your nerves. Plus they can finally chat about all those things they need to catch up on.

Teens
- go to the movies:  There are a ton of movies hitting the theater this summer that your teens are probably wanting to see.

- camping: This was always a favorite of ours and depending on the age may depend on the type of camping. Keep in mind there is always the front and backyard if you need a little peace of mind. Or you can take a group of teens up camping with you and give them their very own tent and lot, this way they feel they are on their own and you can still look after them if needed.

- hike:  These days teens like to take care of themselves, one great way to do that is go on a hike. Make sure they pack plenty of water depending on where they are going or how long they’ll be gone.  If they aren’t going with a buddy you may want to find out where they plan on going and what time they’ll be back or give them a cell to contact you if needed, that is if they don’t already have one.

- going to mall/beach/lake/river- you know anywhere they can escape mom and dad.

Got any other ideas to add to the list? Come on I don’t want to hear that phrase again, do you?

Post from: Blisstree

Fun Summer Activities for Kids

First, there’s the nudity aspect, which is sure to freak out parents, but teens getting naked, it’s nothing new. I was reading something at Switched today that mentioned a  piece in the National Post quoting Professor Peter Cumming from York University, in Toronto who feels that Sexting is along the same lines as Spin the Bottle.

When I was growing up in rural Northern California, kids did something called “Going In the Barn.” (I was pretty prudish – I so was not going in the barn with anybody.) I’m not going to go into detail, but it had to do with peeping some nudity, and this was back in the mid-to-late 70s. Kids are curious. Couple that with the hormonal drive of your average adolescent and really Sexting makes a sort of disturbing sense.

The biggest problem that I can see with it comes into play when the photos are shared. Someone breaks up with somebody or a phone gets stolen or even borrowed and that’s when something personal and private can become very, very public. And were you aware that some of these kids are being prosecuted as child pornographers?  There’s even the risk of having to register as a sex offender, which I feel is both extreme and nuts.

I’m not saying that I’m cool with Sexting. What I am saying is that kids are kids and sometimes they do stupid and destructive things. And sometimes these destructive things are hormonally driven.  Kids have always had the potential for the stupid and the destructive. Kids today are not necessarily worse than the kids that we grew up with.

Amy Hasinoff, a doctoral candidate from the University of Illinois, feels society is using Sexting as another way to label young girls as bad.

…Ms. Hasinoff argues that just as the courts are missing the point by failing to distinguish between nudity and child pornography, the media are likewise doing more harm than good by portraying a girl’s sexual self-expression as an invitation for sexual harassment.

Harassment, she said, could involve the non-consensual distribution of a private photo by a disgruntled ex-boyfriend, for example.

“The media and society seem to talk about girls as sexually naive and innocent,” she said. “Then as soon as they become active, we deem them as deviant and blame them.”

There’s only so much we can do to protect our kids. Nobody likes to think about their kids having sex or expressing themselves in a sexual way. It’s uncomfortable and in opposition to what we want for our babies, but the reality of is that kids grow up. And they sometimes get naked.

Teach your child to love and respect him or herself. That’s really all you can do, because you can’t be with them 24/7 and one thing you can count on is that sometimes they are going to screw up, but eventually they will be grown-ups and their children will find something new and even more shocking to get self-destructive with.

Post from: Blisstree

Is Sexting Like Spin the Bottle?

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I was blown away even more when I told my husband and he told me it wasn’t a shock to hear the girl had been raped in the girl’s bathroom, that it had become a common thing to have sex in the bathroom at school, however it was disgusting that she’d been raped and he hoped the father took justice. Boy was I behind the times.  This morning though, I watched as young girls talked so openly about oral sex and how it has become more popular than that first kiss.

One girl said, “I ended up having sex with more than one person that night and then in the morning I was trying to get morning-after pills,” one of the girls said. “I was, like, 14 at the time.”

Another stated, “Oral sex to me, isn’t really that big of a deal.”

But the one that surprised me, “5 minutes for $100, well I’m going to probably do it with them anyways because they are good looking. Why not get paid for it?”

Believe it or not, some girls are even doing prostitution and you wouldn’t even know it because they are all home before dinner. Some girls are having sex to better their grades, become popular, for money and clothing/stuff.  During the video below they say 54% of teen girls between 15-19 will have oral sex.  What’s worse was learning that teens think of oral sex as nothing more than a kiss and that a kiss is no longer an intimate thing. Do you remember that first kiss you had? I can tell you when, where and how old I was. Today, many kids have forgotten that first kiss as it happened when they were young and before all the other kisses, sex and oral sex. But they can probably tell you the first time they had an orgy/oral sex, etc.

Girls at the age of 11 are going to sex parties and actually engaging in them. Not just sitting around watching or playing dress up, putting make up on etc, these days it is much more grown up than that. No longer is it spin the bottle for that first kiss, now it gets more involved than that. Could you imagine walking in on your son or daughter doing this? What about finding out that they attended one of these parties?

Signs he/she may be doing it:

-  Child is coming home with items you didn’t buy.
-  Child has more money then you’ve given him/her.

Those are just two things. Now that you’ve read this, what do you think? Do you have the type of communication where you will know that your child is doing this? Or will you be just as shocked as some of the mothers that saw this video were?

http://www.abcnews.go.com/GMA/Parenting/story?id=7693121&page=1

Post from: Blisstree

Teens: Oral Sex is the New Goodnight Kiss

I do not mean this in a tabloid-y gossipy way. I think that these two kids are in a situation that unfortunately happens to teens all over the world, but in their case, it is playing out in the media to a certain point. Kids that age, they are still figuring things out, still very much driven by their hormones or their peers.  They are still in the learning-to-be-a-human phase.

Apparently, I am not alone in my curiousity as Levi Johnston appeared on the Tyra Banks show recently. He spoke about a tension between himself and Bristol. From what I can see, he isn’t trying to sell out as much as …. well, he’s a kid. He’s not saying Sarah Palin is a bitch, Bristol is a puppet, he’s just saying this is what is going on, this is the reality of his situation, as he sees it. Maybe he is a cad to continue to talk about it, but he is a kid. He’ll figure that out later.

I have a couple of very good friends who were teenage parents and contrary to popular belief, their lives were not over with the birth of first one and then a second unplanned bundle of joy. They dug in deeper, worked harder, loved fiercer and are living a life most people dream about.  Challenges are there to make you stronger, to see what you are made of. 

I could be wrong about this kid, but I think that his wanting to see his boy, even when negative statements are made in the press about him, I think he’s going to do alright by that child. Perhaps he will even do right by the child’s young mother. 

He said, in his Tyra Banks interview, that Sarah Palin “probably” knew that they were having sex. “Moms are smart,” he said. Moms are smart and facing some truths about my own teens, well it has not been easy, but we are all human and we crave human contact. People who love each other, whatever their age, they want to take that next step.  Sex. It’s biology,  baby.

So sure teach abstinence as a choice, but please, be realistic about human nature and offer information about birth control, as well.

Image credit: All Posters.com

Post from: Blisstree

Levi Johnston Is Not A Cad

The Life of a Home Mom

Yes, this is a normal child thing but for me it was more than that. I didn’t understand why she didn’t want to do this thing. It was something she’d always loved to do, she always jumped at it before. I was puzzled and a little hurt by this, I quickly thought of the Grinch and how my heart must’ve shrank a bit. In the end she told me, “Mom, that’s for little kids. I’m not a kid anymore.”

I won’t lie, it stung. But for me the stinger was more of my own feelings, I knew she was right and she was getting older. Why is it so hard to let them grow up? Why is it so hard to not want to do those cute things with them that they always loved and to hear they don’t like them anymore? I know why, because we are parents and we still remember the yesterdays of their childhood. While they are rushing to get older and move forward, we are wanting to freeze time and just watch, to hold that moment in just a little longer. We know our children will grow up and move on, we want this to last as long as possible.

In the end she did do the one tiny favor I wanted, she got a picture with a character at a show and made my day. Course I guess we’ll realy see how that picture turned out. At the end of the night though, she ran up to me and hugged and kissed me, “Mom I still love you and I had a BALL tonight.” My heart recovered from the earlier shrinkage.

Have you been through this? How did you handle it? I don’t think I’m ready for these guys to get older, I guess it’ll be one step (very tiny) at a time.

Post from: Blisstree

She’s Growing Up

Does your teen know where to draw their digital line?

To many teenagers (and adults for that matter) their mobile, IM and online accounts are a large part of who they are. When someone you’re involved with or a friend is controlling, disrespecting, or pressuring you in those spaces, THAT’S NOT COOL.

It can be difficult to express your concern or discomfort verbally, but Callout Cards are a fun, creative way to take some of that pressure off.

Someone pressuring or disrespecting you? Tell ‘em to back off with a callout card. That’s Not Cool provides several services to help you learn how the confrontations may play out – engage with others in similar situations and simply find a way of letting a person know – that’s just not cool!

Post from: Blisstree

Controlling Your ‘Space’ in Cyberspace

Most recently I’ve been trying so hard to explain to the kids that a joke is NOT good if it’s at the expense of someone else. I have encouraged them to joke all they want if the person being offered up as humors sacrificial lamb is their own self.

Why is it that this particular lesson is nearly impossible to sink in?

I’ve also tried to explain to them that when people live in the same house – there’s bound to be goods that are kept on each person within that house and at the very least, everyone will know those extreme “Hot Buttons” to push when they are backed in a corner.

Well, we’ve learned a strong lesson in this whole issue this week.

It seems one of my boys tried to be funny – made fun of another for something cosmetic and that in turn escalated to each one bringing out the big guns – the deepest, darkest secret that you just don’t want people knowing.

Granted that dark secret is nothing more than a boy being a boy – but when you are 14 and 15, it seems like you are the only person on the planet to do something so embarrassing.

And here I thought having boys was going to be FAR less dramatic. Yeah Right!

Post from: Blisstree

Teen Lessons Learned the Hard Way