You are falling asleep in the 4:30 (Friday!) status meeting, when you receive a mass text message from your girlfriends: crnr bar @ 6. Thank god! You’ve been waiting all week to go somewhere fabulous to unwind.

But wait, before you change into your evening shoes (those of you who keep a drawerful at your desk)…you should prepare yourself for the smarmiest element of single life: The pick-up line. (What would I know? I’ve been married for 22 years).

I wouldn’t have expected Forbes.com to spend even a syllable focusing on this topic, but there it was under the Singles Section: “The Ten Worst Pick-up lines”. I guess, “business leaders” must navigate the dating scene just as adroitly as anyone else.

These lines are expectedly juvenile, if not dated–ergo the title of this post. Each line is categorized and comes complete with runner-up lines and commentary. Here are a couple of my faves:

• Line: You must be a hell of a thief because you just stole my heart.
  Category: Failure through flattery
  Runner-up line: Is that dress felt? Would you like it to be?
• Line: Your legs must be tired because you’ve been running through my mind all night.
  Category: Anatomical
  Runner-up line: Greetings and Salivations!
• Silliest (or deranged) runner-up line: If you were a Burger from McDonald’s, you’d be McGorgeous!

Oddly, also in the Singles section, is an article entitled, “How To Land A Millionaire!” I wonder if those guys use the same lines as regular Joes?

Image: Eduardo Garcia Benito/condenasteart.com

Or, how to feel and look fabulous traveling from home to work.

It’s 6:30am, you’re standing at your train stop, it’s freezing, your monthly ticket is somewhere at the bottom of your purse.

Instead of muttering how much you hate commuting and that you’re going to start looking for a job in your home town, here’s my top ten list of things to love about that chunk of time in the morning:

1. Keep saying to yourself that you are never going to get out of your PJs ever again.
2. Put all of your make-up on.
3. Change your shoes.
4. Read Rachel Ray’s new magazine but cover it with Fortune Magazine.
5. Type up the PowerPoint presentation that you swore you were going to do last night when you got home but Grey’s Anatomy was on.
6. Phone your assistant, and speak loudly enough so fellow passengers know how important you are.
7. Fix the ring tone on your phone by down loading a Coldplay song.
8. See if you can successfully text message your boyfriend or husband.
9. Come up with names/logos of your the business you’ve been fantasizing about, such as your new blog about shoes.
10. Sleep. (mouth closed)

There, your at the train station…didn’t that go fast?

Illustration from: Allposters.com.