If you’re a regular reader of Blog Fabulous you’ve likely read a comment left by my friend Rebecca. She’s the lawyer with the progressive husband Brett, also a lawyer. She’s coincidentally the one who recommended Hanky Pank Thongs, which I reviewed today. Hopefully, she took my advice about Hanes mens briefs for post-partum comfort. Steal Brett’s britches!

Well, she gave birth to Anders last week, a boy. But, he had to go back to the hospital for jaundice.

They’re home now. Hopefully for good. He’s a healthy baby boy and I have no idea who much he weighed.

Congratulations Rebecca & Brett! We’ll expect to hear a lot from you now that you’ll be home on maternity leave with “nothing to do all day.” LOL.

Images Source: Rebecca’s Facebook.

Post from: Blisstree

Hey That Girl – Rebecca’s a Mommy!

Thanks to That Girl for guest posting on Blog Fabulous today. That Girl lives in Louisiana and mothers two sons and a husband. She writes Hey You! Remember Me? where she takes us down memory lane with recollections about teenage life in the ’90s. Read her latest post Wannabe. I would post her beautiful photo, but she’s incognito due to the drug use and teen sex that comes up in bloggy memoir.

A couple of years ago my husband and I went through a pretty rocky spell. By rocky, I mean that I was constantly hurt and wondering “Who is this man?”… “How can he act like such a jerk while claiming his undying love for me?” As I drove home from running an errand one night, I heard Bill and Pam Farrel, relationship experts, discussing their waffles and spaghetti theory on the car radio. It was a revelation for me and there’s no doubt in my mind that God intended for me to hear it. In their book, Men Are Like Waffles–Women Are Like Spaghetti: Understanding and Delighting in Your Differencesthey explain how:

“A man is like a waffle (each element of his life is in a separate box), why a woman is like spaghetti (everything in her life touches everything else), and what these differences mean. Then they show readers how to achieve more satisfying relationships.”

I haven’t read the book, but just hearing their radio interview opened my eyes to our communication flaws. According to the Farrels, men compartmentalize everything while we see everything as never ending series of related events. Just like a bowl of spaghetti, our experiences and emotions are all intertwined. Ladies, this completely explained these kinds of fights:

Me: How many times are you going to go to bed early and leave me w/ the housework and putting the kids to bed?! (@#$^#%@!)

Him: What’s your problem, I’m tired tonight!

Me: Me too! You ALWAYS do this!

Him: No, I don’t! Get off my back – I’m tired and I’m going to bed.

Me: It’s not just tonight! It’s every night!

Him: Quit over-reacting! Dang! Quit being a @%^#*! Just because I’m tired and want to go to bed!

See, from his “waffles” standpoint, we were arguing over his actions on just that one night. (Which, granted wouldn’t have been so horrible if it had been placed in its own little compartment out of context) But the way I saw it over in spaghetti-ville, we were arguing over a pattern…something repeated… something that had been building…something linked to related events from the past.

Later that night, I discussed this waffles and spaghetti theory with my husband and it has really helped our levels of communication and understanding. I told my husband that for women, there are no isolated events within a relationship. Each builds on the last to create the big picture. He takes stock of our relationship on more of a day-to-day basis, whereas I gather my conclusions from the complete experience.

The Ferrals also discussed the beauty of how these differences might complement one another within a marriage if we can learn to respect and appreciate them. For instance, men are better at focusing on one task at a time while we excel at multi-tasking. Also, those compartments become very handy when a man needs to tuck his fear into a nice little compartment to, say, rescue his family from a dangerous situation. And since we are so good at seeing the whole picture, we are the natural nurturers and caretakers. Of course, I’m not saying that women are incapable of rescuing their families, nor am I saying that men are incapable of nurturing. I’m saying that if you don’t want to keep on having the same fights over and over, it helps to understand and appreciate your partner’s natural inclinations and emotional tendencies.

Does this theory ring true for anyone else? Do you notice your husband easily isolating his emotions into separate compartments? Does he ever have a problem seeing how events are related to one another when it’s such an obvious connection to you?

I want to say a big THANK YOU to Bill and Pam Farrel for flipping a major switch in my own marriage.

For more information about the Waffle/Spagetti theory visit MasterfulLiving.com

Post from: Blisstree

Guest Post: Waffles & Spagetti