In writing for both Relationships and Dating Dames, which is what Relationships used to be, I have spoken about various current and past relationships. One particular person that I wrote about was aware that I was writing about him during the course of our relationship (I never used his full name and he has a very common first name).

I told him that I wrote about us and I even sent him links to posts that I wrote. Either he did not read the posts or he is forgetting that this happened.

He and I had a relationship in which the terms were clear – committed, long-term, exclusive.  Things did not work out and eventually the relationship sort of faded away. I later found out from a third party that my ex had been not living up to those terms while we were together. He, the ex, contacted me and apologized. I was hurt, angry, and embarrassed, but I had a new man and I was moving on.

I wrote about it some and another person, someone we grew up with, took offense at me writing about my life and wrote me a lengthy message about doing so.

This weekend, the ex spent time talking to my girl friend. Then, I started getting comments on older Relationship posts from someone using a fake name saying that I knew what was up the whole time, that I was the pursuer, that I was doing something inappropriate by writing about my relationships in my relationship column.

My ex was telling a very different story to this person, although he admitted what went on when he spoke to my girl friend. There was no point in lying to her – she already knew what happened, she was there with me for almost the entire relationship.

My girl friend, the one who spoke to the ex, asked me to please stop talking about my personal experience, that it leaves me open to futher pain. I understand what she is saying, but I want Relationships to be honest and authentic. I don’t plan to talk about my ex anymore, I’ve spoken very, very little about him these past months, but in talking about certain topics, my experience with him might come up. 

I want to focus on the future. People come in and out of your life. Most leave some sort of mark. You either learn how to incorporate the experience into your personality or you fall apart. I don’t want to fall apart. I want to be happy about my new relationship, about my new boyfriend, and the experiences that are ahead of us. I do not want someone from the past to have any further influence on my future. 

Thank you for reading Relationships.

Image credit: Bailey Smith

Post from: Blisstree

I Write From Experience