[This one's for you Micky/David/Patrick/whatever]

Than to open one’s mouth and erase all doubt!

Falls under the Tenth Step;

“Our first objective will be the development of self-restraint. This carries a top priority rating. When we speak or act hastily or rashly, the ability to be fair-minded and tolerant evaporates on the spot. One unkind tirade or one willful snap judgment can ruin our relation with another person for a whole day, or maybe a whole year. Nothing pays off like restraint of tongue and pen.”

Only my fellow recovery bloggers will know about Micky (with his many alias). Yet, the principle applies in many areas of our lives and is totally valid – from my personal experiences. I know my mouth would have been better kept shut too often to count. It is usually much more silent these days.

Micky – your ignorant and wrong comments will not make it to the front of this blog – ever!

Post from: Blisstree

‘Tis Better

God remove the Selfishness, dishonesty, resentment and fear that has cropped up in my life right now. Help me to discuss this with someone immediately and make amends quickly if I have harmed anyone. Help me to cease fight anything and anyone. Show me where I may be helpful to someone else. Help me react sanely; not cocky or afraid. How can I best serve You – Your will, not mine be done. AMEN
(p. 84-5 BB)

“How can I best serve Thee—Thy will (not mine) be done.”
(p. 85 BB)

Good stuff…

Post from: Blisstree

Tenth Step Prayers

“We can try to stop making unreasonable demands upon those we love. We can show kindness where we had shown none. With those we dislike we can begin to practice justice and courtesy, perhaps going out of our way to understand and help them.

Whenever we fail any of these people, we can promptly admit it – to ourselves always, and to them also, when the admission would be helpful. Courtesy, kindness, justice, and love are the keynotes by which we may come into harmony with practically anybody. When in doubt we can always pause, saying, ‘Not my will, but Thine, be done.’ And we can often ask ourselves, ‘Am I doing to others as I would have them do to me – today?’”

Right before these paragraphs the 12&12 refers to something I hear many times from friends and others… hate!

“We can’t stand it if we hate deeply.”

Hate is such a strong word and, to my current way of thinking, ought not have a place in a spiritual program of recovery though there are times when I use it too.

“The idea that we can be possessively loving of a few, can ignore the many, and can continue to fear or hate anybody, has to be abandoned, if only a little at a time.”

Courtesy, kindness, justice, and love…

Post from: Blisstree

The Keynotes On The Path To Harmony

“With the self-discipline and insight gained from practicing Step Ten, I begin to know the gratifications of sobriety – not as mere abstinence from alcohol, but as recovery in every department of my life.

I renew hope, regenerate faith, and regain the dignity of self-respect. I discover the word ‘and’ in the phrase ‘and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.’

Reassured that I am no longer always wrong, I learn to accept myself as I am, with a new sense of the miracles of sobriety and serenity.”

Wow – “no longer always wrong” might have been enough except that hope, faith and self-respect add to the wonderment exponentially! I am grateful.

Post from: Blisstree

The Gratifications of Sobriety

We have a good friend who asks this question at meetings – “how do I know that AA is working?” The answer?

I’ve never had it so good!

There are times like right now that I must bring this to the forefront of my mind. I’m on the right track. God has me exactly where he wants me. How do I know? Because I’ve never had it so good!

I could spend hours picking out all the negatives and fears in my life each day. All I have to do to live a happy day is remember, see factually, know without doubt, that my life is truly a gift. Had God not walked my ugly butt into AA when He did, there are many alternatives to what my life might have been like. The simplest is dead. I’m alive and thankful.

I’ll live it from there…

Post from: Blisstree

The World Of The Spirit

From page 88 in the 12&12;

“More experienced people, of course, in all times and places have practiced unsparing self-survey and criticism. For the wise have always known that no one can make much of his life until self-searching becomes a regular habit, until he is able to admit and accept what he finds, and until he patiently and persistently tries to correct what is wrong.”

Sure are a lot of failings available to us in that one paragraph.

Unsparing, patiently, and persistently instantly jump out.

• Has it ever been asked of you why it seems you never complete anything, that you always make it halfway but don’t finish?
• Has it ever been pointed out to you that you lack patience?
• Can you be persistent enough to follow through before giving up in hopelessness?

One specific instance comes to mind. How about that girl we’re interested in, attracted to. You know that very pretty young lass that has many suitors. Would you be one who would give up trying before you even started because she “has to have so many boyfriends there’s no way she’s available?” Is that fact or your fiction?

So, we sell ourselves short and stay lonely.

Only one thought. I’m sure there are so many others where we bring about our own suffering because we fear taking a risk. No patience or persistence and certainly not unsparing.

Post from: Blisstree

Gaining Experience and Wisdom

Which, when worked then lived, creates these;

The Tenth Step Promises from the AA History Lovers Group at Yahoo!

1. We continue to take personal inventory and continue to set right any new mistakes as we go along. (84:2)
2. We vigorously commenced this way of living as we cleaned up the past. (84:2)
3. We have entered the world of the Spirit. (84:2)
4. Love and tolerance of others is our code. (84:2)
5. We have ceased fighting anything or anyone even alcohol. (84:3)
6. For by this time sanity will have returned. (84:3)
7. We will seldom be interested in liquor. If tempted, we recoil from it as from a hot flame. (84:3)
8. We react sanely and normally, and we will find that this has happened automatically. (85:0)
9. We will see that our new attitude toward liquor has been given us without any thought or effort on our part. It just comes! That is the miracle of it. (85:0)
10. We are not fighting it, neither are we avoiding temptation. (85:0)
11. We feel as though we had been placed in a position of neutrality-safe and protected. (85:0)
12. We have not even sworn off. Instead, the problem has been removed. It does not exist for us. (85:0)
13. We are neither cocky nor are we afraid. (85:0)
14. That is our experience. That is how we react so long as we keep in fit spiritual condition. (85:0)
15. We are headed for trouble if we do, for alcohol is a subtle foe. (85:1)
16. We are not cured of alcoholism. (85:1)
17. What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition. (85:1)
18. Every day is a day when we must carry the vision of God’s will into all of our activities. (85:1)
19. “How can I best serve Thee-Thy will (not mine) be done.” These are thoughts which must go with us constantly. (85:1)
20. We can exercise our will power along this line all we wish. It is the proper use of the will. (85:1)

Post from: Blisstree

Tenth Step Promises

“Can we stay sober, keep in emotional balance, and live to good purpose under all conditions?”

I.E., when reality jumps up and says “hello” will we be grounded well enough in The Twelve Steps where we can call on our tools to help us go through whatever it is that life has to offer us, good or bad?

From today’s Daily Reflection;

“I have found that pain lets me know there is something wrong with my emotions, just as physical pain lets me know there is something wrong with my body. When I take appropriate action through the Twelve Steps, the pain gradually goes away.”

And… my oh my… do we hate pain eh?

Back to pgs. 74-75 in the 12&12;

“Our eyes began to open to the immense values which have come straight out of painful ego-puncturing. Until now our lives have been largely devoted to running from pain and problems. We fled from them as from a plague. We never wanted to deal with the fact of suffering. Escape via the bottle was always our solution… Then, in A.A., we looked and listened. Everywhere we saw failure and misery transformed by humility into priceless assets. We heard story after story of how humility had brought strength out of weakness. In every case, pain had been the price of admission into a new life.”

Suffer well…

Post from: Blisstree

When The Rubber Hits The Road

The Tablemate was an early A.A. set of beginners lessons entitled ‘Alcoholics Anonymous: An Interpretation of the Twelve Steps,’ put out in the form of a little pamphlet. It was (and still is) the most successful set of A.A. beginners lessons ever devised.

And I’m drawing content from the Hindsfoot site, laboriously prepared by Glenn C. and others… We moved into Discussion No. 3: Inventory and Restitution Part I then Inventory and Restitution Part II, and now, Inventory and Restitution Part III.

***************************************

Step No. 10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.

In coming into A.A. we usually will have a pretty big inventory to work on, as in Steps Four, Eight, and Nine. But even after that, we will not be perfect. We have a long way to go. We will continue to make mistakes and will be inclined to do some more wrong thinking and wrong doing. So at intervals, we continue to take inventory. Here the purpose is to check on our progress. We certainly cannot be perfect, so the need for regular inventory is apparent.

These inventories are personal. We confine the inventory to ourselves. We are the ones who need it. Never mind the other fellow! He too is probably troubled and will have to make his own inventory.

When we make these inventories, probably the best way to start is to go over (one by one) each of the twelve steps, and try to discover just what (in these steps) we are not following.

The businessman has to make a physical inventory from time to time. We have to make a personal inventory of ourselves from time to time if we want to recover from a serious mental illness.

Character Defects and Vices

So much for the inventory steps – - now look at some of the things we would do well to cover in an inventory:

1. Selfishness – - the common vice of all alcoholics.
2. Egotism – - who is without some of it? Self-Importance, Mr. Big.
3. False Pride – - too big to admit a fault or an error.
4. Impatience – - the spoiled child in a grown man.
5. Resentments – - an alcoholic usually is sore at the whole world. Everybody is wrong!
6. Lack of common honesty – - usually fooling ourselves and trying to fool others. False pretense, sham.
7. Deceit.
8. Hate – - the outgrowth of anger and resentment.
9. Jealousy – - just wanting what the other fellow worked to get.
10. Envy – - a sure-fire cause of discontent and unhappiness.
11. Laziness – - just plain laziness.

And so on through a long list.

Conversely Our Inventory Could Show a List of Virtues

which we very definitely lack and should go to work on to develop such as:

Honesty
Simple Justice
Fairness
Generosity
Truthfulness
Modesty
Humility
Honest Pride in work well done
Simplicity
Patience
Industry (go to work and really work)

And so on through a long list.

Then Consider a Few MAJOR Virtues

FAITH – If we have lost faith we must work desperately hard to get it back. Ask God to give us faith in him, our fellow man, and ourselves.
HOPE – If we have lost hope we are dead pigeons. Only those who have been cruelly hurt and in desperate need can know the wonderful sense of security that lies in hope for better things.
TRUST – Since our own self-sufficient conduct of our own life has failed us, we must put our trust in God, who has never failed.

Post from: Blisstree

The Tablemate – Discussion No. 3 Inventory and Restitution Part III

God will tell you all that you need to know.
He will not always tell you all that you want to know.
These are a few simple suggestions for people who are willing to make an experiment.

You can discover for yourself the most important and practical thing any human being can ever learn – how to be in touch with God.
All that is needed is the willingness to try it honestly. Every person who has done this consistently and sincerely has found that it really works.
Before you begin, look over these fundamental points. They are true and are based on the experience of thousands of people.

1. God is alive. He always has been and He always will be.

2. God knows everything.

3. God can do anything.

4. God can be everywhere – all at the same time. (These are the important differences between God and us human beings.)

5. God is invisible – we can’t see Him or touch Him – but God is here. He is with you now. He is beside you. He surrounds you. He fills the room or the whole place where you are right now. He is in you now. He is in your heart.

6. God cares very much for you. He is interested in you. He has a plan for your life. He has an answer for every need and problem you face.

7. God will help you do anything that He asks you to do.

8. Anyone can be in touch with God, anywhere and at any time, if conditions are obeyed.

These are the conditions:
- To be quiet and still
- To listen
- To be honest about every thought that comes
- To test the thoughts to be sure that they come from God
- To obey

So, with these basic elements as a background, here are specific suggestions on how to listen to God:

1. Take Time

Find some place and time where you can be alone, quiet and undisturbed. Most people have found that the early morning is the best time. Have with you some paper and pen or pencil.

2. Relax

Sit in a comfortable position. Consciously relax all your muscles. Be loose. There is no hurry. There needs to be no strain during these minutes. God cannot get through to us if we are tense and anxious about later
responsibilities.

3. Tune In

Open your heart to God. Either silently or aloud, just say to God in a natural way that you would desire to find His plan for your life – you want His answer to the problem or situation that you are facing just now. Be definite and specific in your request.

4. Listen

Just be still, quiet, relaxed and open. Let your mind go “loose.” Let God do the talking. Thoughts, ideas, and impressions will begin to come into your mind and heart. Be alert and aware and open to every one.

5. Write!

Here is the important key to the whole process. Write down everything that comes into your mind. Everything. Writing is simply a means of recording so that you can remember later. Don’t sort out or edit your thoughts at this point.

Don’t say to yourself;

This thought isn’t important;
This is just an ordinary thought;
This can’t be guidance;
This isn’t nice;
This can’t be from God,
This is just me thinking, etc.

Write down everything that passes through your mind.

Names of people;
Things to do;
Things to say;
Things that are wrong and need to be made right.

Write down everything.

Good thoughts – bad thoughts;
Comfortable thoughts – uncomfortable thoughts;
“Holy” thoughts–”unholy’ thoughts;
Sensible thoughts–”crazy” thoughts.
Be Honest! Write down everything. A thought comes quickly, and it escapes even more quickly unless it is captured and put down.

6. Test

When the flow of thoughts slows down, stop. Take a good look at what you have written. Not every thought we have comes from God so we need to test our thoughts. Here is where the written record helps us to be able to look at them.

a) Are these thoughts completely honest, pure, unselfish and loving?
b) Are these thoughts in line with our duties to our family, to our country?
c) Are these thoughts in line with our understanding of the teachings found in our spiritual literature?

7. Check

When in doubt and when it is important, what does another person who is living two-way prayer think about this thought or action? More light comes in through two windows than one. someone else who also wants God’s plan for our lives may help us to see more clearly.

Talk over together what you have written. Many people do this. They tell each other what guidance has come. This is the secret of unity. There are always three sides to every question – your side, my side, and the right side. Guidance shows us which is the right side – not who is right, but what is right.

8. Obey

Carry out the thoughts that have come. You will only be sure of guidance as you go through with it. A rudder will not guide a boat until the boat is moving. As you obey, very often the results convince you that you are on the right track.

9. Blocks?

What if I don’t seem to get any definite thoughts? God’s guidance is as freely available as the air we breathe. If I am not receiving thoughts when I listen the fault is not Gods.

Usually it is because there is something I will not do:
something wrong in my life that I will not face and make right;
a habit or indulgence I will not give up;
a person I will not forgive;
a wrong relationship in my life I will not give up;
a restitution I will not make;
something God has already told me to do that I will not obey.
Check these points and be honest. Then try listening again.

10. Mistakes

Suppose I make a mistake and do something in the name of God that isn’t right? Of course we make mistakes. We are humans with many faults. However, God will always honor our sincerity.

He will work around and through every honest mistake we make. He will help us make it right. But remember this – sometimes when we do obey God, someone else may not like it or agree with it. So when there is opposition, it doesn’t always mean you have made a mistake. It can mean that the other person doesn’t want to know or to do what is right. Suppose I fail to do something that I have been told and the opportunity to do it passes? There is only one thing to do. Put it right with God. Tell Him you’re sorry. Ask Him to forgive you, then accept His forgiveness and begin again. God is our Father – He is not an impersonal calculator. He understand us far better than we do.

11. Results

We never know what swimming is like until we get down into the water and try. We will never know what this is like until we sincerely try it. Every person who has tried this honestly finds that a wisdom, not their own, comes into their minds and that Power greater than human power begins to operate in their lives. It is an endless adventure. There is a way of life, for everyone, everywhere. Anyone can be in touch with the living God, anywhere, anytime, if we fulfill His conditions.

When man listens, God Speaks.
When man obeys, God Acts.

This is the law of Prayer,

God’s plan for this world goes forward through the lives of ordinary people who are willing to be governed by Him.

John E. Batterson

[May I suggest you adapt this to the Higher Power you understand... This is a reprint linked above. Here is the link again to my source at AA Bibliography.]

Post from: Blisstree

How To Listen to God