The View Hot Topic: “Would you let your boy play with dolls?”

“No way,” Sherry Shepherd said Wednesday. “I’d take a doll away! I don’t want my boy playing with dolls, I want him growing up like a man.”

Elizabeth chimes in that she would “take the baby doll away and replace it with a GI Joe.”

It’s an attitude that defies logic.

When boys play with baby dolls they are emulating the caring and nurturing behavior they see in their Daddies. Lucky kids get caring and nurturing from their Daddies. Thank goodness mine do.

To forbid baby dolls is the same as calling caring, nurturing and compassionate feelings and behavior “girly,” “feminine” or “gay.”

We all want Daddies and Husbands to show us – and our children – caring, compassion, empathy and nurturing.

How many wives are hurt when husbands don’t come through with behaviors that exhibit these emotions? But, we defeat future wives and children by banning the learning activities that teach such feelings and behavior to little boys?

That’s not fair to men and it backfires on women.

If you want a boy to grow up to be a kind Husband and Father give him a baby doll and condition him to feel and act compassionately and empathetically toward that doll. Teach him how to cook and do laundry. Put a play kitchen in his room. Encourage the playing of “Mommy and Daddy” or “House”.

When he grows up he won’t be gay.

He’ll be a loving Daddy and make some woman a strong and emotionally available Husband.

Image: “Zack – Future Husband and Father of the Year” courtesy Empowering Girls: So Sioux Me

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Boys and Dolls

I know you thought you’d never hear these words from me, but I agree with Elisabeth Hasselbeck’s take on the banning of tag and other “aggressive” playground play.

One of the lessons I’ve taken from Randy Pausch, the man who’s teaching us how to boldly face down death by focusing on life with The Last Lecture, is: If you wait long enough everyone will show you they have positive value.

I don’t usually agree with Elisabeth. But, on the issue of aggresive playground play, including tag which has recently been outlawed at recess in many areas – I 100% agree.

Why are we expecting children to grow up without bruises, scrapes or bumps?

When I was in elementary school there was no playground equipment for a while. They made a really big hill of dirt. We called it The Mountain and found a million ways to hold hands and propel, twirl, roll, hop, skip and push each other off The Mountain. This all ended the second some kid broke an arm. We were no longer allowed to play on the hill.

As children we knew the value of being allowed to continue our play outweighed the risk of broken bones.

Why can’t adults get that simple concept?

Joy’s idea that we should approach 3 year olds with psychoanalysis and role reversal is simply stupid. Sometimes we do need to step back and let kids work stuff out for themselves.

Elisabeth’s idea that children work out their problems on the playground and that kids benefit from aggressive play and learn to get along in this hand-ons way is right on. I too think kids do learn something from being bullied, teased or and getting knocked around a little.

We want to limit and supervise it, but like Elisabeth, I don’t think restricting all aggressive and active play is a good way to handle childhood. Don’t we already have enough problems with lazy children who only watch tv and play video games?

As Whoopi said, YOU call it fighting. THEY are playing!

There. See? Randy was right, I can agree with everyone about at least one thing.

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Elisabeth’s Right On

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5 stupid things Elisabeth said on Jezabel.com

I missed her.

There, I said it.

I loath her politics, I’m jealous of her position and stunning beauty and ease in which she makes her way in the world effortlessly.

But, The View is not The View without her. The guests are boring because they are not inflammatory and Republican enough. It’s the different opinions that make The View exciting.

Welcome Back Elisabeth.

Wait . . . she opened her mouth and now I hate her again. She just has that effect on me.

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Elisabeth Is Back, I Missed Her

Elisabeth’s only going on maternity leave. Somehow hubby Tim is moving to Arizona and she’s taking maternity leave and then coming back to New York? Commuter family. Is that what “Conservative Republicans” do now?

Did you see how disrespectful Elisabeth was to Nancy Pelosi, the first female Speaker of the House?

Maybe Barbara had a chat with her about that, because she wasn’t quite so rude to Hillary Clinton, future President of the United States.

Switching topics, but only kind of, I suppose it was naive of me to hope that Americans could have a woman run for President without sexually exploiting her left and right.

Did you see the Radar magazine cover showing a Photoshopped picture of Hillary and Barack nude? (above)

Then you have the comments section in the article, with truly enlightened Americans saying sexually derogatory things about Hillary’s sexual desirability like: Poor Hillary I’ll bet she wishes she could have more than one man

I consider myself pretty difficult to offend, but some time around 2006 I got tired of being shocked every time I stood in a check out line or turned on my TV. Did I get too old or did the culture get too depraved? Did I lose my sense of humor or did this kind of crap stop being funny?

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Elisabeth Leaving The View

Let’s teach 12-year-olds to put condoms on bananas!

And, while I was expecting Elizabeth’s head to explode in a impulse of maternal Republican furry, I was pleasantly surprised by Sherri Shephard’s screeching halt to such talk.

I am forever surprised by my own maternal response to political issues I previously believed I held. Human Biology, including the reproductive system, education is one of those areas.

Now that I’m sending my kid off to the public school system and have lost some control over what goes into her little impressionable brain I realize I would be upset if the schools were being that explicit.

Even when I right about girls’ empowerment and encourage you to write your representatives to encourage human reproductive education to empower girls, I’m not sure we should be quite so flippant about adolescent sexuality.

For one thing, as we explore the issue on So Sioux Me, girls aren’t being given healthy information about sex. According to an extensive report by the American Psychological Association (APA) girls are sexualized to the point of becoming objects, even objectifying themselves, and therefore don’t even have the self worth to understand or responsibly act upon their sexuality. This type of education, as in the Real Act, I wrote about Tuesday, the APA believes, may reverse the effects of sexualization of girls.

I found myself thinking, thank you Sherri. Through the conversation Whoopi and Joy – whose daughters are already adults – strike me as flippant about the issue. Elizabeth strikes me as oblivious to the reality of being a teenager or a girl in today’s culture.

Sherri alone spoke the voice of reason Why don’t we do some work and tell our girls you don’t give men bleep. Love your self and get some self worth.

The APA recommends sexual education that encourages sexual responsibility that includes respect and responsibility for ones’ self with an emphasis on consentual, non-exploitive activity. Comprehensive education about sexuality, the APA’s evidence suggests, effectively combats the sexualization of girls with accurate information.

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Condoms on Bananas or Self Worth?

Four years later, I have been successful in maintaining a healthy weight and am proud of myself for that. I try to exercise regularly and use the portion control guidelines I was taught when I had the surgery. I’m not saying that in order to be happy, women need to be a certain size, but I am saying that we should all strive to be healthy. I still struggle with trying not to let comments about my body affect me.

The article begs the question, if we love a big black woman, will we still love her if she’s thin?

The article also brings a difference in body image between African American women and caucasian women.

We African American women are taught to be proud of our curves, full breasts and shapely hips. I used to look in the mirror and take pride in my figure, but that was when I was legitimately a full-figured woman.

White women, on the other hand aren’t allowed the luxury of curves. Heck, I thought I was hearing things when my African American mentee said, “I love this dress it makes my butt look so big!” from the dressing room. She meant big as in good. I’ve never heard a white girl say anything like that about her butt.

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Star Jones Tells About Surgery

Sex Education for Kindergarteners makes great headlines. It makes great television too. But, it’s really a non-issue.

I read an article, on CBN by David Brody, this morning which explained the original context of  Barack Obama’s position on sex education in kindergarten.

Obama was talking about voting in favor of existing legislation that allowed age-appropriate discussions with kindergarteners about inappropriate touching.

Can we afford NOT to have these kinds of conversations in schools? Why can’t we let parents and families handle this kind of talk with kids?

Here’s why: unfortunately, in many cases, it’s the family doing the inappropriate touching. Poor defenseless children should at least be told they are allowed to say “don’t touch me there.”  

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Sex Education for Kindergarteners

Today was like an emotional roller coaster:

I’m annoyed with Elisabeth: being totally defensive and irrational about The War, Bush, Iraq, and all Republican vs. Democratic candidates. On all things political I totally disagree with Elisabeth. I think she will defend any and all unethical or immoral behavior because she’s so partisan it’s not even funny. And somehow I’m always emotionally effected. It’s not as if her opinion matters more than anyone else’s, but I’m emotionally effected about how irrational she’s being.

I’m happy for Joy: Rosie leaving The View was great for Joy. When Rosie and Joy had the same opinions it left Joy out of a lot of the discussions. So, Rosie leaving was great for Joy getting more air time and being more controversial. 

I’m proud of Barbara: Thank you Barbara for attempting to steer the discussion AWAY from the war. But did you hear when Elisabeth told her BOSS: “You only want us to express our opinion when it’s the one you want to hear.” Ballsy Elisabeth. Gotta respect that. But, gotta wonder how long Barbara will put up with it.

I’m super proud of Elisabeth: You go girl! Flashing your 6-months pregnant Belly! Way to be publicly pregnant and show that we’ve come a long way as women!

I’m amused by Sherry: The comedian Sherry Shepherd is very reminiscent of Star Jones. She’s a big black woman who has a faith in God and doesn’t mind talking about it. Sherry is very funny, doesn’t care about the war, is overweight (this IS a positive if we want The View to represent different kinds of women) and is ethnic. Maybe we should keep her. 

Out of all the potential hosts I’ve seen so far I think she’s the most keepable.

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Fabulous View

Mainly, what I noticed was you don’t die from too much exercise. You look hot and feel great.

So I’ve been amping it up a bit myself. This is what I’ve learned about myself so far: I can only tolerate 50 minutes of cardio before the boredom becomes unbearable. I will have to download a podcast or something because VH1, The View and Kelly Ripa can only keep me interested for 50 minutes maximum. Plus, usually after 50 minutes I seriously have to pee (and due to birth I sometimes leak so I can’t just hold it).

Also, it’s very difficult to determine the threshold with weights. I did the walking lunges with a 25 lb bar bell over my shoulders and the squats with the exercise ball and I seemed to be fine while doing them. I was a little sore the next day and today, the third day (another hour cardio and weight day) I am really sore. How do you determine how much is enough? Or is kinda sore the goal? Is sore the goal when you’re working the muscle group?

Right now I’m off to the gym. I’m going to test this theory my dad has that the only way to become unsore is to exercise it out.

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Hard Ass