Yesterday, I found myself “feeling” the back of my thighs and bottom.  Know what I was looking for?  Not just fat–a particular kind of fat:  cellulite.  Yep, those bumpies that make a woman’s derriere look more like an orange rind.
Unfortunately, I have it.  I’m petite, but it’s there.  It always upsets me, even though I know it’s petty to be upset by it.  I mean, a friend just lost twin baby girls at around 21-22 weeks in utero; my son’s almost-five-year-old cousin has cancer; and people are facing economic woes left and right.
And I’m focused on cellulite.
Anyway, I got to thinking… …read more

It’s funny.  I have no desire to withhold nourishment from my body even though:
a) In the past year, I’ve put on a few pounds.  (Only 5-7, but it seems like a zillion.)
b)  I’m unhappy about the “Santa’s-bowl-full-of-jelly-belly” nature of my thighs and derriere.
c)  I feel unsexy and downright blechy.
Yet I honestly don’t want to starve myself.
It’s weird. 
Usually, my first thoughts in this situation are, “Dear god!  How can I make all this GO AWAY?!?  Stop eating!” 
Could I have overcome a hurdle, slight though it may be?  The self-loathing is holding strong (unfortunately), but the desire to deny myself food isn’t occurring (woo hoo). 
Of course, …read more