This will be my last post for CFS Squared – Tales of CFS. I have enjoyed writing here, for the past two years. But it’s time for me to move on now.

I must say, that this last word stuff is a little daunting. I kind of want to sneak away – and leave you with fun and quirky posts. But, I owe more than that to all of you, and to myself.

On more than one occasion, I have written about Do No Harm. I am going to share a little secret with all of you. Writing and/or following a health blog about chronic illness eats away at the energy you have. It most certainly eats away at mine, which is why I don’t read illness related news blurbs or other blogs. Spending so much time thinking about your illness and how others cope = self harm.

What we should be doing is enjoying life. We should be singing songs to our friends on the phone, hosting dance party in our living rooms, reading Dr Seuss to our favorite 3 year old, playing catch with our dog and his best tennis ball, and throwing fancy dinner parties where we serve pizza and KFC with very expensive wine.

We need to savor the small stuff. Stop analyzing every pain and cough.

Sure, reading about how other people cope with their issues can be somewhat helpful – but this journey is about learning what works for you. My tricks won’t work for everyone. Just like yours won’t always work for me. The best thing to do, is to get out there, and start figuring out what helps. The only way to do that, is to just do it. Be your own Nike advert.

Reading about recent developments for Chronic Fatigue Syndrome or Fibromyalgia, is not going to help you get well. The latest drug may make life slightly easier for a little while, but will most likely become less effective. I will say one last thing. And this will be the most important advice that you will hear….

Get out of your head!

Now go outside and have some fun!

It’s been a pleasure.

**Picture Source - flickr

Post from: Blisstree

The Swan Song

As I write this post, I am wearing a pair of Pinhole glasses. When I first discovered this product, I thought it was the coolest thing I had ever seen. A few weeks later, I received my pair of glasses and not only was I skeptical, but I had thought I had time traveled back in time to 1984. I am fairly sure that I had a similar pair, when I was a kid. Although I suspect they were for purely aesthetic reasons.

Now, it must be said that I have no problems with my eyesight, with the exception of being a little light sensitive. I work in a very bright office during the week, and so there are days when I wear sunglasses indoors. I wasn’t sure if I was the right person to test this product out. So I passed them around to various coworkers who have some vision problems.

Out of six people who wore them – one person loved them, and thought that it actually would help him. To be fair – he is the only person who gave them a fair chance. He wore them the longest, and looked at different things (computer, the newspaper, outside), to see if it would make a difference.

Three out of the six people just couldn’t get past the appearance of these glasses. The lens is made of perforated plastic, so you are looking through many dots. So they weren’t prepared to really get the experience. They did report that it didn’t make their vision any worse – or cause any other symptoms such as headaches.

Two of the six people, couldn’t remark on how effective these glasses are, because their vision is so bad – and these glasses are not for everyone. So really, they weren’t fair test subjects.

The last test subject is me. Here are my findings:

• These glasses filter out a lot of light. So in my very bright office, these glasses were quite helpful
• I had to slow down my reading speed a tad, just because the glasses are foreign to me, and it took some adjusting. This is not at all a negative. Slower reading speed means higher comprehension. In fact, I accomplished a whole lot more than I usually do, and that is due to wearing these.
• When sitting at my computer, changing head position from looking at the screen to looking at a report on my desk, would make me a little dizzy. So when I had to do a lot of switching back and forth-I just chose to remove the glasses. But when I am working on just one activity, such as writing this blog post-they work great!
• The pin-hole glasses are not to be worn in a dark environment. Which is why they are perfect in an office setting. The entire time I wore them, I was headache free – I am attributing this to the spotted specs.
• Definitely image is a lot clearer when wearing them.
• It does take quite a while to get used to looking through polka dots. But once I adapted to the change, I became a lot more focused (vision, brain power, everything).

These glasses will reduce peripheral vision, so make sure you do not wear them while driving or operating machinery.
When I started writing this post, I had an unbelievable hang over from lack of sleep. I have worn these glasses now for almost an hour, and not only is the fogginess completely gone, but my energy has started coming back. Now, I am not claiming that these glasses will completely combat Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, but they have helped with my visual focus. This is a huge step in the right direction.

If you want to know more about what Pinhole Glasses can do for you, go here.

If you are interested in obtaining a pair, you can order some through Pinhole-Glasses-Direct

**Picture Source- wikipedia

Post from: Blisstree

Seeing Spots for Better Eyesight

I have a lifestyle where I rely on the use of an alarm clock.  I hate being late for anything, so time pieces are very important to me.  I use a simple clock/radio for when I am home.  But have been known to use alarms on my computer or cell phone (when I remembered to use it).  Once upon a time, I used to rely on the sun.  However, the sun doesn’t shine in my neck of the woods very often – so that method didn’t last long, after I moved here.

I have previously written about how I use my current alarm clock in a positive way to rouse me from sleep. However, I have just come across one, that appears to harm people.  Even people without a sleep condition.  For me, it would make me absolutely crazy.

Here is the deal with the Puzzle Alarm Clock,

When the alarm goes off -it shoots 4 puzzle pieces into the air, and then makes this horrible honking sound until you put them back in the proper place.  How ridiculous for someone who lives with brain fog during the middle of the day, not to mention at 5 am.    Most of the time, I am not able to answer the phone, when I have been asleep – how do you expect me to complete a puzzle?

Although, I do think the idea is a fun way to get up – it is absolutely not the right alarm clock for me.

So tell me, what is your most favorite way to get up in the morning?

**Picture Source -  Big Bam Banana

Post from: Blisstree

Alarm Clocks – Helpful or Harmful?

Image details: Man asleep in bed holding large alarm clock served by picapp.com

Every morning at 5 am, my radio is set to play selections from the classical music station. I listen to the music for an hour, before starting my day.

This is the only way for me to wake up properly. I can not wake up without assistance. If I decided to wake up, when my body (and mind) was ready – I might now get out of bed until well after noon (such is my curse of Chronic Fatigue Syndrome). The 5 am start is necessary – I have a job, where I need to be everyday – and it takes about an hour to get there.

The 1 hour of listening is imperative. First it brings enjoyment to my day (important!). It gives me an opportunity to awaken my senses in a way that is calming and energizing at the same time. Because of the genre of the station – the music is rarely of a jarring nature. Although, occasionally they will play a jig – or something by Vaughn-Williams – and then it becomes harder for me to wake up in a good mood. Often when this happens, I usually close my mind off, and roll over and fall back to sleep. It happens, when I am forced to listen to music that I do not like.

My point to this, is that it is much easier to wake up to sounds that are gentle, than something extremely high energy first thing in the morning. Pop music belongs on the ipod, dance floor, or the car stereo, and not in the bedroom. An equally good substitute is listening to sounds of nature. But usually that can happen naturally in the spring and summer (at least in my neighborhood).

Another trick is to remain consistent. Don’t let yourself sleep in on the weekends.

What do you to start your day on a good note?

Post from: Blisstree

A Positive Start to The Day With CFS

This season, I am going to attempt to grow an indoor herb garden. I would really like to try to grow some medicinal herbs – just to see if there would be an improvement, if I grew them myself. Its a headspace thing! In order for me to understand how and why things work for me, I need to be involved in the whole process – and not just listen to someone else talk about it.

And so I am going to do a little experimenting with some herb growing. First step is to figure out what to grow. Not really easy, when there are so many things to grow. I suppose the first thing I should look into are herbs that can help with regular sleep.

I have come across 3 herbs (among many) that can help with general stress relief, and to help with sleep (that you can grow in an indoor garden).

Chammomile - an herb used for rest and relaxation – although a more bitter form can be used for digestive problems. Most often used in teas (at night-time). It is a very gentle herb to use, and should be looked to first. – I definitely plan to grow
some of this!

Passionflower – an herb used to coax restful sleep – without giving the sleep hangover in the mornings. Most often used in tea form. Sounds like a pretty good alternative, to many of the sleep inducing drugs out there.

Thirdly, I came across Lemon Balm – I am not very familiar with this herb, but apparently just the scent of this herb, has relaxation properties. That right there, sounds good enough for me. It is mostly used in teas.

This is the start to my herb garden. Like I said, I am still in the planning stages. But I am really excited about this little project.

Do you have an herb garden? If so, what do you grow – and why.

**Picture Source- flickr

Post from: Blisstree

Herbs are In!

Last night, I had an opportunity to speak to a group of CFS Sufferers. I am not a big fan of support groups (outside of 12 step programs, and then again not exactly a fan – just believe they are necessary). I suppose one could argue that this blog is somewhat of a support group – but then again, I am not asking for weekly attendance – or participation (although I love it when you do). I don’t really have much to do with people feeling sorry for themselves, and from my experience, that is what support groups do.

But last night, a group asked me to speak – and so I did. Will I go back as a member, absolutely not. Will I be invited to come back to speak – it is doubtful. A group made up entirely of women much older than myself, who had absolutely no desire to get well, with the exception of one (interesting to note that she was around my age). What makes me think this? Well the first thing I saw upon entering the lecture hall, was a very large table filled with pastries, 2 urns of coffee, and bottles of soda pop and sunny delight. Interesting fare for people who are suffering from chronic illness – in which diet can hugely affect ones “performance”. Yea Yea – I know about my own coffee addiction – but really coffee was the least poisonous thing in that environment.

So I start my talk…and it is a good one. Trust me on this. My topic was “You Know You Best – And So You Are the One In Control”, something that I have written on this blog more than once. I honestly thought that people would respond well. I was mistaken. Perhaps my anger is clouding over my memory slightly, but when given an opportunity to speak, the first thing a member of the group said was – “you can’t possibly understand what this is like – even my husband doesn’t believe me”, and so I asked her what she does, thinking that may perhaps give me a way to understand. She replies, “well I am sick – I go to the doctor and attend support group meetings”.

WHAT????? Who says that because you have been diagnosed with CFS it means that you do nothing. If that’s the way you think, then what kind of hope do you have. No wonder the husband doesn’t understand. This woman goes to her doctor to get pill refills (she shared that info with me-its not made up), and then goes to weekly support meetings, where she can consume massive amounts of sugar, and dial in to how sick she is, with others who in turn feed the addictions.

I don’t have to tell anyone here, that this is not going to work. You are not going to get better, unless you want to. No amount of passive pill popping and commiserating is going to help. My breath was wasted last night….and as a result, it upset me a great deal. I admit that the timing of my talk and how I am feeling was not great. Because the result was not what was expected, it made me feel a lot worse than I normally do…(I am now bouncing back). However, it did help me to figure out some things.

For example:
I can not be responsible for anyone else’s wellness except for my own, talking about being ill -makes one feel horrible a lot of the time, if people are happy the way they are- then who am I to try and bring about change to their lives.

But for the woman at that meeting last night – and all the rest that nodded in agreement with what she said, I have just one thing left to say.

Do you not miss the woman you used to be…or the woman you had planned on becoming?

**Picture Source – flickr

Post from: Blisstree

Do You Want to Get Well?

I started watching people on the street, I began to quiet myself during my work day – and really paid attention to what my coworkers were saying. Then I really listened to what I was putting out there.  I discovered that I was contributing to the problem. Harmful things that have even appeared on this blog – and for that, I am sorry.

So I decided to do something about it.  While I am not always able to stop my actions (or shall I say, reactions), I am now aware of what is going on. I have chosen to really pay attention, and slow down my responses so that I don’t contribute to the “madness” any longer.

I will take responsibility for my actions.

And so I will end this post, the same way I started it.  With the words….

Do No Harm.

Post from: Blisstree

Do No Harm

Now lets get down to business.  CFS Squared is of course about Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, and all of the stuff that goes with it (good and bad), and there is a lot of good that comes with this illness.  For the most part, I write about my personal journey with this illness.  I share what works for me, and what doesn’t.  Sometimes I write about the happenings in the Chronic Fatigue world, but most often I get myself into trouble, when I do that so I tend to shy away from hot topics.  If you have a topic that you would like to see addressed, please shoot me an email to laura@b5media.com and hopefully I will be able to write my take on something that you would like to see.

There are some things that CFS Squared is not.  CFS Squared is not written by a medical professional.  There is a disclaimer that can be found on the sidebar.  I will always suggest that you talk things over with your health care practitioner before making a decision on something that you have read here.  What has worked for me, may not work for you.  Please understand that we are all different, and our illness varies between person to person.  The same goes for commenters.  Any comment that you have read on this blog, can not be taken as advice from a healthcare practitioner. These are people living with the illness, just like you and me.  There is a big range of how we each deal with CFS as individuals.

CFS Squared is not a forum.  I encourage comments, and I applaud readers for reaching out to each other via my blog posts.  Sometimes a topic that is covered, can get some pretty enthusiastic responses, and while I think that is fantastic – people who subscribe to comment feeds, can get more than a little overwhelmed.  I just think there is a better medium out there to communicate on topics with like minded individuals.  For instance, there are many forums on topics such as chronic illness or certain medications.  Support groups can be found everywhere (and this includes online groups). If you can’t find one that is suitable, you can try setting up your own.  There are lots of applications available.  Even Facebook will allow you to set up a little something.

Like I said, I don’t want to discourage comments. But I also don’t want the message of this blog to get lost.  In case the message has already gotten lost, let me reiterate it again.  CFS Squared is about living positively with a chronic illness.  It is a journey on how to go from living in your pajamas to regaining a positive life.

Thank you for your continued support. I appreciate all of you.

Post from: Blisstree

CFS Squared Is….

If you are anything like me, you try to get more fruit into your diet (because you know its good for you), but you either can’t seem to commit – or the good fruit that you like, seems to be seasonal. I fall into both categories, by the way. I always have good intentions, and buy fruit at the produce market. But when I get it home I tend to lose interest. Or I can never find what I am looking for, because its out of season. For example, I will only eat apples during September and October. Don’t ask me why that is. It’s just because. The rest of the year, I don’t like the way they taste. However, I love to eat grapes, all year long. But – in certain months of the year they are more expensive than others, so I tend to stay away.

Yesterday, when I was at the supermarket, I saw a really cool cross breed of fruit. It’s called the grapple. It looks and has the texture of an apple, but it smells and tastes like a grape. Seriously, it actually tastes like a grape. I have now found a way, to get more apples into my diet, without having to spend $10 for a bunch of grapes.

As everyone knows, fruit and vegetables are an essential part of one’s diet. They are even more important when living with a chronic illness, especially one that can compromise your immune system. Thanks to great developments in science and agriculture, the tastiness of certain foods are changeable. Just like people who are lactose intolerant can drink milk, and high strung people can drink decaf coffee – people who don’t like apples can eat the very ingenious fruit called the grapple. Since I have decided to incorporate these into my diet, my doctor can stay away (for longer periods of time).

Oh it must be said, the grapple was invented, as a way to stave off childhood obesity, but I think its a really great idea for adults, who just don’t like certain types of fruit.

If they could just find a way to change the smell and taste of liver – then I would be one happy camper. Perhaps they could find a way to make liver taste like chocolate chip cookies.

Post from: Blisstree

A New Way to Eat Fruit

Now here is the featured post:

The last thing you want to do when you are tired and hungry, is slave over the stove attempting to pull together ingredients into something edible. When you get to a certain degree of hunger, cooking becomes a chore, and eating becomes something you do only to take away the discomfort of hunger. So you decide to eat yet another frozen dinner, or order take out from the restaurant across the street because its easy. Your body is giving you every signal possible that it needs nourishment, yet you respond by feeding it processed, fat-laden, sodium-filled “food”.

Those who eat healthy most of the time will tell you that they feel fabulous inside and out. Good food makes you feel good - mentally and physically. I have a sweet tooth and spent one Christmas at a family dessert buffet, sampling everything on it. I ate until I was stuffed full of fat and sugar, and my stomach hurt. The next morning I woke up feeling lethargic, bloated, and nauseous. Despite having gotten a good night’s sleep, I even looked horrible with a puffy face and circles under my eyes. I made a note to self: remember how you feel right now.  So far it has worked as a reminder that what you put in your mouth, is distributed to every cell in your body.

When living with a chronic illness, it is especially important to keep your body optimally fueled with balanced meals filled with nutrients, vitamins, minerals and energy. While you can’t control your illness, you can control the foods you eat. Your best defense is to have a fridge stocked full of fresh foods that are ready when you are. When you’re feeling well, chop your vegetables for the week and cook some rice, so that when you aren’t you can reheat and eat on a whim. When you have the time and energy, cooking can be very therapeutic. I love to chop vegetables on a Sunday afternoon but Thursday night at 7:00? Just get them in my belly ASAP! I’ve learned that a little planning goes a long way.

Remember that the choice to eat a healthy diet is your own. No one is forcing you to eat those French fries – it’s your decision. Choose to eat real food and your body will thank you.I close with some food for thought:

Make a Healthy ChoiceA robust and satisfying life doesn’t happen by accident. It’s the nurtured, crafted culmination of a series of south and conscious decisions. From the work you do to the food you buy, from what you take on to what you turn down, your wellness is ultimately determined by the quality of each and every choice. Not that they’re all going to be perfect, nor should they be. They just have to be ones you make mindfully. That’s when magic happens. Life starts to become something you do, not something you merely leave to chance.

~ Terri Trespicio, Body +Soul, March 2008

Thanks again to Kath, for her take on eating for wellness. It’s motivated me to ignore the “eat me” callings from the gelato that resides inside my freezer.

Post from: Blisstree

A Little Planning Goes A Long Way