Relationtrips are those important trips that you take with your significant other that really make an impact on your relationship.  Suddenly you are spending all of your time together away from the pattern of everyday life.  There are two different types of trips:

1.  Trips where you have a guide book with highlighted pages and detailed descriptions about every landmark that you want to see.  You plan each day to fit in as much as possible to squeeze every valuable moment out of the time spent travelling.

2.  Trips where you just relax.  You bring a book and a journal and you plan nothing.  You enjoy the beauty of your surroundings and the calm that you can’t find when you’re working everyday.

Sometimes the best medicine for a troubled relationships is a big dose of Trip Option #2.  Go somewhere quiet and beautiful where you can find peace within yourself and peace together.  You don’t need to talk about “issues” the whole time, but you can remove the stresses that are caused by everyday life and give yourself space to breathe.

I recommend this specific type of trip because sometimes an action-packed vacation to a crowded and touristy destination could actually cause more stress and tension in a relationship.  Travelling is difficult and busy!  When every day is filled with activities then you don’t always feel like you are able to relax or even fully enjoy each other’s companies.  Obviously trips like this are amazing, but not always the best option for a relationship that is in need of some R&R.

Take a truly relaxing vacation together to a place that is quiet and beautiful.  Bring activities that you can do together but also activities that you can enjoy independently.  Enjoy silence and laughter.  Take deep breathes and find the calm that comes when you don’t have to do anything at all.

Image: sxc.hu

Summer vacation usually means travel plans, and when you’ve got pets you either need to make special arrangements for their care while you’re gone, or special plans to bring them with you.

The Weekender bag at PlanetDog.com can help you with the latter! Holding up to the 30 cups of dry dog or cat food, the portable bags allow you to take care of pet feeding without lugging around a giant bag of food.

Available in several different colors, the bag is made of poly-canvas and is water resistant and machine washable. You can find it at PlanetDog for $16.95.

[image: planetdog.com]

I wrote last month about Pet Airways, an airline for getting pets and only pets to your travel destination.

They’ve recently launched their first commercial, and their website is now taking bookings for flights starting in July. I like being able to visualize how they’ve got things set up now, since people aren’t allowed on the flights! They also provide tips on preparing your cat or dog for travel, tips for cat owners, and a company blog.

Pet Airways is a pet-only airline where pets actually fly in the main cabin, not in cargo. A pet attendant takes care of the pets at all times, and get the best care available during their flight.

The “pawsengers” are checked on every 15 minutes, get fresh water and food, and regular potty breaks. All you need to worry about is dropping your pet off and then picking them up at the Pet Lounge at your destination. You can even monitor their progress along the way — from drop-off to pick-up — for peace of mind.

There are only a few destination cities so far — New York, Balt./Wash D.C., Chicago, Denver and, Los Angeles — but more are apparently in the works!

Anyone who’s ever traveled via airline with a pet knows what a pain it can be. There are health guidelines, crate guidelines, and some carriers even require larger pets to be sedated.

The biggest drawback is that if your pet isn’t small enough to ride in the cabin with you (under the seat, of course) then they have to fly in the cargo area with the luggage. Some carriers have a limit on how many pets are allowed in the cabin on one flight, so even if your pet is small enough they might end up in cargo anyway.

One company didn’t like this idea very much and has created Pet Airways, an airline that specifically caters to pets — in fact, human passengers aren’t even allowed on the aircraft!

The “pawsengers” get the best care available during their flight: They’re checked on every 15 minutes, get fresh water and food, and get regular potty breaks. All you need to worry about is dropping your pet off in the first place and then picking them up at the Pet Lounge at your destination. You can even monitor their progress along the way — from drop-off to pick-up — for peace of mind.

They don’t have many flight cities yet, and the first ones opening in July will be New York (NJ,CT & Philadelphia), Washington DC/Baltimore Area, Chicago, Denver, and Los Angeles. Be sure to let them know what cities you’d like to see them expand into!

Introductory fares are currently $149 and reservations can be made online.

What do you think? Would you use it? I think I’d be a little worried about my pet flying without me, but knowing that they’re comfortable and being taken care of would ease that, I think.

[image: flickr]

I have a friend going through some hard times in her own relationship. A variety of factors are making things difficult and causing a lot of tension and unspoken resentment/anger that makes me wonder how long they will keep things going…before it all finally implodes.

Image: stock.xchng

Over coffee last weekend we talked about how much he was traveling. And at this point her reaction isn’t sadness that he’s away. Or even happiness that she has “alone time”.

She feels indifference.

He could be here, not be here, whatever - she’s to the point of not even caring anymore. That’s probably the scariest place to be, since emotional reactions (good or bad) to their obvious disconnect are gone…and and what has replaced it just numbness.

But one of my rules about being “the married friend” is that I try not to project too much of my own experience into my advice. This is because I personally can’t stand it when people act as though their marriage is a model for all marriages. There is no model. There is only what works for you two. In obvious cases like this one, I can point out with pretty reasonable cerainty that indifference is not a good feeling to have when your boyfriend or husband is out of town for a week. That’s not to say she should be sitting at her window pining away for his return…but a little emotion would be good, right?

I used to travel a lot more - a few years back I was on a plane and out of town for at least a week every month. Of course I missed Paul. But I was also busy, really enjoying my work and having a good time. So the momentary pangs of lonliness in an empty hotel were counter balanced by hours of productivity and hard work.

You see it wasn’t the lonely moments that reminded me how much I love Paul and how happy I am to be with him. It was when I talked to him on the phone. Or caught up with him on Skype for a second during the day. I smiled just a little bit more and my heart was that much lighter because I got a chance to connect with him.

Though I did not relate all of this detail to my friend, chosing instead to talk to her about how she’s feeling and try to keep my own bias and experience out of it as much as possible, I did wonder quietly if there was any way to recover from indifference - how do you get back to love? Not just the mushy part - but the strong ‘partnership’ place.

Is it even possible?

A b5media.com colleague of mine recently described her experience with the likes of a certain, self-important concierge–at a small, but chic, hotel in France. She and her friend seemed surpised and perplexed by this man’s disregard toward them, upon check-in.

Her companion explained that in France, if you do not dress well, you are considered to be unimportant. (The two had been dressed in jeans and t-shirts). I can see that–actually, it’s always been a policy of mine to dress up when traveling.

Several times when traveling from London to New York, my seat was upgraded to business class–and I’m convinced it was because I’d decided to wear a suit.

But as I gave this more thought, it occured to me, that this coolness on the part of others because of how you’re dressed is not necessarily a French thing. (I won’t even go near the subject of my colleague being a Puerto Rican/American.)

I decided to conduct a little test. Each day when I walk my dog, I throw on the universal suburban dog-mom outfit–Le worn out Gap clothes. For my research, I put on a crisp, white blouse, new jeans and a bit too much make-up. The morning took on a whole new feeling…I felt visible!

Typically, Trotter and I stroll through town pretty much undetected, but suddenly I began to get “how-ya-doins” from the mail gal, the cable guy, the mom with her kids…and just plain strangers (meaning old guys mowing their lawn)…what was going on here?

I thought I would broaden the test–just to see if there was something more to it than simply the kooky sight of a petite woman steering her 80 lb. Labrador around.

So, wearing this same outfit, off I went to do my errands, and: the butcher gave me an extra piece of chicken in my order; the liquor store guy gave me a free promotional item (lighter in the shape of a poker chip) and the printing guy carried my box of brochures, opened my car door and shook my hand.

I think the answer is this: I carried myself with a bit more confidence and self-assurace…I looked to have purpose and possibly some money.

My analysis? Dressing as if you look like you’ve got a clue will get doors opened for you. (And some free stuff).