While cramps during the TWW can cause a little panic and anxiety in addition to the normal discomfort, they are totally normal and, unfortunately, not indicative of anything. In fact, they could simply be a common side effect of progesterone. Trust me. After about an hour on the internet this morning and a few more calls to a doctor, no one is willing to place any significance on cramping (or not cramping), spotting (or not spotting) during the two week wait.

Argh.

So, I’m leaving you with some Cramps that are a little more fun:

Post from: Blisstree

Cramping During the Two Week Wait

So many women who are trying to conceive wonder if quitting their jobs would reduce their stress, and, therefore, enhance their chances of getting pregnant…Here’s the problem. So much of what we do for a living shapes our ego identity…

This got me to thinking…

Am I defined by my job? Is what I do from 9-5 Monday through Friday (and then some) what I choose as the most important part of my identity?

For me, that answer is no.

I like what I do. I care about the work that I do. But if someone were to ask me, “who are you?” I probably wouldn’t refer to the job that pays me until much further down the list.

At the same time, I had a hard time with posting during Celebrity Week because I didn’t want to define hard-working women by their fertility and methods of conception above their careers and considerable accomplishments.

So then, what defines me?
A few months ago, I made the conscious decision to stop using the term “infertile,” because I don’t think it’s productive or helpful to define myself as something I don’t want to be.

The other evening, on the eve of our anniversary of ten years together, my partner and I sat on our little balcony, popped open a bottle of champagne (FET cycle hasn’t started yet) and started listing our favorite moments, times, events, things from the last ten years. Everything from life-changing experiences (trekking to Macchu Picchu) to mundane moments that have simply stuck in our collective memory (shared jokes, strange friends).

We were there until the sun went down.

Ladies, this little celebration was so affirming, so energizing, so necessary.  Not only did it remind me that I am not defined by my lack of ovaries, it gave me example after example after example of how wonderful my life has been, and is, in so many ways.

And that there is more to life than the next cycle, the next shot, the next two week wait. Those things are a part of me, but they aren’t all of me.

Beyond fertility, what defines you?

Post from: Blisstree

What Defines You? Is It Your (In)Fertility?

Image details: Profile of twin babies served by picapp.com

My clinic here in the States feels very strongly about using no more than two embryos in any IVF attempt. I have heard of others that will use upwards of five. Sometimes more. I know women who have transferred 3 embryos at once and spent the next two weeks on pins and needles. Will one of these grow? Will they all grow??? For me, the prospect of triplets would fill the dreaded two week wait with even more anxiety. Yet, I am fine with the thought of twins, so two feels like a good number for me. I’m not sure how I would feel if my clinic told me that the transfer of one embryo at a time was all that was allowed, especially knowing the cost of future cycles.

The issue of costs was raised by Dr Mark Hamilton, chair of the British Fertility Society:

The National Institute of Clinical and Health Excellence recommends women under the age of 40 receive three cycles of IVF on the NHS.

But he said only 5% of health authorities in England offered three cycles with most only offering one cycle – a situation which left women feeling pressured to have more than one embryo implanted to maximise their chances of success.

“It is absolutely imperative that funding issues around IVF are addressed.

“If patients did not have to worry about finding the money for their own treatment this would certainly be much easier to implement,” he said.

Funding issues aside, there has already been strong opposition voiced to this plan by some patients and doctors.

What do you think? Does this feel like a responsible policy, or one that leaves women with fewer choices and fewer chances of becoming pregnant?

Post from: Blisstree

One Egg or Two? Oh Sorry, You Only Get One

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the hope before the storm, it was the tears fought back before the fall, it was after a three-day transfer, it was during a natural cycle, it was the whiteness of the pantiliner, it was the fear of seeing red, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going directly to parenthood, we were all going directly the other way – in short, the moments before the period was so far like every other moment before the period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only.

Dickens had nothing on the two week wait.

And for even more TWW angst, you can check out my latest post here.

First Beta test was this morning. Today will end the wait.

Post from: Blisstree

How I’m Feeling Today (So Far)