I’ve been following the Rihanna/Chris Brown “alleged” physical violence situation. What she’s doing, going back to an “alleged” abuser, it’s sadly stereotypical. I’ve read quotes from people who know both Rihanna and Chris Brown, read that Diddy offered up his home for the two to reconcile, read that her father feels he can’t get through to her, but he’s supporting her.

I’ve also read that one of her sponsors is thinking about dropping her because they are uncomfortable with the way she is handling the situation.  I know that I, for one, bought a certain mascara just because it enhanced her eyes (mine are similarly colored). It’s possible that she’s broken, but she is still a lovely girl.  Getting abused doesn’t mean she should be kept from making a living.

It’s easy to sit in judgment of a situation when you are on the outside. I’d never stay with an abusive partner, you might say.  Personally, after my experience, I wish she’d be done with him, too, but I realize that it’s not that easy.  It wasn’t easy for my mom. When my brother’s dad said that he would not do it again, she believed him. He lied.

My girls have both heard about what is going on. They were big Chris Brown fans before, only one was a Rihanna fan. Kids talk and they don’t always get the correct information. I’ve tried to talk to the girls about abuse , about how it can happen in romantic relationships with teens, as well as adults. Bailey, my older daughter, related a story about her friend who is in an abusive relationship.

I’ve spent a lot of my children’s life alone, in large part because my experience was that men hit and I did not want my family hurt. I know that not all men hit, but growing up the way that I did, it’s messed with my head a bit. I recognize this and try to fight that screwy point of view.

I want my girls to be aware, but not paranoid. I want to show a balanced point of view, but sometimes it’s a struggle. I want my girls to recognize the warning signs. I don’t ever want my beautiful girls to look like Rihanna did in that horrible photo with the heartbroken look and the bruises.

If you are a parent, have you found yourself talking to your kids about the Rihanna/Chris Brown situation?

Image credit: All Posters.com

Post from: Blisstree

Talking To Kids About Physical Violence

I don’t know what Victoria did to anger her squad mates, but it certainly could not be something that warranted a beating. This kind of crap boils my blood. I would really like to speak with the parents of the perpetrators. I’d like to know how they justify some of the comments that were made regarding the situation. Let this be a reminder to us all to teach our children how to resolve problems with peers.

Post from: Blisstree

If this was my child…

Oshkosh Teens Speaking Out is a group of local young people from various religious denominations taking a stand against bullying in light of school violence throughout Wisconsin by asking parents to pay more attention to their kids.

The group, which started meeting around the end of October, is finalizing a letter to local parents with instructions on how to be better parents and how to deter their kids from becoming future bullies and perpetuators of school violence.

A sampling of tips for parents from Oshkosh Teens Speaking Out:

Understand that I am not perfect – be patient
Teach me to how to say “NO” – by saying “NO” to me.
Get to my friends and their parents too
Let my dreams be different from yours
Spend time with me and show me you care – listen more than you talk
Family time is worth more to me than a big house, vacations and other stuff
Tell me that you love me

I think these teens are truly onto something.  Having been the victim of bully’s throughout my own high school career, I see the overwhelming need for parents to become more active in their kids lives – and to stop trying to blame everyone else for the ill actions of their kids.

I’d love to hear some of your bully stories and how you’ve learned to combat them on your own.  Whether you’re a kid or a parent, I think it’s important that people learn to stick together and come up with new and inovative ways of tearing down these intimidating walls.

Post from: Blisstree

Youths target parenting to prevent bullying