Bollocks, Kate Middleton. It was a “total shock” when Prince William proposed to you three weeks ago while you were “on holiday” at a quiet safari lodge in Africa? But you’ve been together (on and off) for almost nine years! Are you telling me that in all that time the subject of marriage never came up? (We know it must have, because in your recent ITV News interview with Tom Bradby, Prince William mentioned that lately you and he had been discussing your future and the possibility of marriage.) So why did Prince William alone get to decide when to take one of the biggest steps of your lives? Because he’s royalty and you’re a commoner – albeit a rich one?
Last time I checked, the Queen’s name was Elizabeth, not Victoria. So what’s with the outdated 19th-century traditions? You and Prince William are in your 20s. You already live together. (Sinners!) You say you’re down-to-earth and have good senses of humor, respectively. And yet Prince William orchestrates your marriage proposal as though it’s a scene out of a Jane Austen novel? At least Jane Austen was a mistress of satire. And she never married. So there. More »