Now, I know there are several reasons to do that, but, the one she cited to me was that she used the commute between work and daycare to wind down before picking up the kids. At the time, I couldn’t understand what was so relaxing about sitting in traffic, but, now sometimes I even have to turn the radio off to get in the right frame of mind to start my evening shift with the short bosses.

I thought I was doing that just for me, but, it turns out that kids notice when you have job stress, and, they want us to do that.

According to the results of a study presented at the annual meeting of the American Psychoanalytic Association, the number one thing kids want from their working parents is for them to be less stressed about work:

Interviewers asked children what would be their one wish if they could change how a father or mother’s work affected each child. More than half of parents guessed their children would wish for more parent time. Wrong answer. Most children wished their parents would be less stressed from work.

“If our parents were less tired and stressed, I think that the kids would be less tired and stressed,” said one of the children interviewed.

Sometimes, I’m bad about thinking the kids are so absorbed in their evening activities of homework, or, whatever, that they won’t notice if I’m stressed about other things, but, they do. I have been making a concerted effort to remember that my work isn’t their problem, and, they deserve me to be refreshed (or as refreshed as I can be) and ready for dinner, conversation, homework and bedtime.

Some of the things I try to do:

Minimize stopping for errands on the way home from work – While it can’t always be avoided, that is a big time suck for me, and, then I hit the door at home feeling like I’m already behind on my evening routine.

Change clothes immediately after I get home – There are times that I find myself in work clothes at midnight. I find that I can make the psychological shift to the home routine better if I am dressed for the part, even if it means walking past (with explanation) something or someone that perceives they need my attention RIGHT NOW.

Plan dinner ahead of time  – OK, I admit that I’m not a good meal planner, so, planning ahead for me means deciding what to cook before I get in the door instead of while I’m standing in the kitchen at 6pm. If I hit the kitchen with no idea what’s for supper, I tend to just walk in circles, and, wonder why the kids need to eat again tonight. After all, they just had dinner last night. So, that puts me on edge a bit.
These are just a few things that help me, I’m sure there are many other things one can do to make the transition from work to home smoother, but, I’m going to work on it even more since the kids really do notice.

Post from: Blisstree

Transitioning between work time and family time