When you spend eight hours with a group of people, it’s hard not to share some details of your life. Part of what usually determines whether someone likes their job or not is the people. I always liked my job better when I felt I knew the people a little bit.

But things have changed in the workplace. Things that were once okay in an office might work against you today. This article, 13 Things Not to Share With Your Coworkers, gives some good guidelines on what to share and what to keep to yourself.

I have a tendency to want to befriend people at work, and while I’ve met some wonderful people, I also feel it’s been used against me at times. I guess the key is to use common sense and your best judgment before sharing too much.

Post from: Blisstree

What to Share With Coworkers

I have to admit, one thing I don’t miss about working in a traditional office setting are annoying coworkers.

I met a lot of great people at work, to be sure. But it’s the annoying ones that really bugged me. The ones who had bad hygiene, who talked on their speaker phones all day (even though we were all in cubicles) and the ones who were just downright mean. Some of them got to the point where I’d want to quit just to get away from them.

I loved this article from cnn.com that talks about different kinds of annoying coworkers, AND how to deal with them. Their advice on having a sense of humor is a good tip. Sometimes at the end of the day you just have to laugh – it might be the only way you get through it.

Have you ever had rude coworkers? And if so, how did you deal with them?

Post from: Blisstree

Do You Hate Your Coworker?

Sometimes the right work/life balance situation can from the right job. A job, say, where you work less than 40 hours per week by design, like these jobs.

I have to admit, years ago I worked in banking and we worked 37.5 hours. We didn’t make a lot of money, but it was a great schedule nonetheless. Of course, banking has changed and adopted retail hours in the last several years, but back in “the day” it was a great place to get flexibility. Maybe one of the jobs on the list could offer the same.

Post from: Blisstree

Working Less Than 40-Hours Per Week

Recently I commented on an article about a stay at home dad. I appreciate his take on things, especially because his tales of trying to talk on the phone while the baby cried mercilessly were classic and exactly the types of things that work at home moms go through.

Afterward, I received quite a few emails and comments about the post. I got the impression we had a lot of stay at home dads that wanted to share their stories. I think we can all learn from each other in these new changing work times. Whether someone works in an office, stays home, works at home, is a mom or a dad or caregiver, there is a commonality that bonds us all together in this “career and kids” balance dance!

Here are a couple of the comments we rec’d from that post:

Mary Kennedy said:

“Cherie, this is a fascinating topic!! I’m a psychologist and I’ve worked with many “stay at home Dads” in my practice. Here’s what I’ve discovered. One of the biggest hurdles they face is going from a high-powered “business” environment to an unstructured “home” environment. When it’s just you and the kids at home all day, you have to set the pace. It’s hard for “stay at home Dads” to find the rhythm of their day. When you’re in the business world, the office defines it for you. So what’s the solution? Three quick bits of advice that I’ve found helpful with my clients 1) prioritize. Do the most difficult thing first. Get it out of the way when you’re fresh. 2) break up an overwhelming task, into small, manageable steps and 3) build in a small reward for yourself at the end of each day. Everyone needs to unwind, even it’s just for 15 minutes. Don’t think of it as loafing, think of it as re-charging your batteries so you can work more efficiently the next day! Hope this helps.”

I love this advice for dads and think it can easily be applied to moms who work at home as well. Mary makes a great point here in that when you’re working you’re defined by the act of going to the office. So when you’re at home, you can’t just “wing it.” You still need a plan.

Sonya said:

“Been there done that but unfortunately I was a single mom so no one really cared – it was just my duty. I bow down to the true male heroes out there.”

This is an excellent point, we can talk a lot of how hard it is to juggle career and family, but when you’re a single parent it is a million times more difficult. Just lacking the support of someone else that’s there (like a spouse) is emotionally trying. Not only that, but as Sonya said people just expect you to handle things, and people don’t seem to appreciate how difficult it is.

To that end, Sana illustrates how her and her husband worked out a schedule with comprises:

“Well, I have worked from home (although only two days a week) for about first complete year of my son. I was aware that it was not going to work if I was alone with the baby at home and have day-to-day work from office like conference calls etc. So my husband and I planned to work from home 2 same days a week and we were able to balance it out very nicely. One of us was always (well almost always) there watching the baby and working so that other one could take the calls. In fact we kind of made an arrangement so one of us would focus on work only in a separate room for couple of hours and the other one would watch baby and work and reverse the responsibilities the next couple of hours. we made the rotations and it worked nicely for us. I don’t think it is possible to get a regular work hours and focus if you are doing it all alone.”

Gully represents perhaps the best case scenario, where an employer is willing to give some concessions just to keep you on staff:

“Like all stories, there are many stories within this story that could be told, but I’ll start almost 6 years ago when we adopted 4 month old twins. My permanent residence was 900 miles from my job as a business systems analyst (which I held for two years at the time), and I would generally get home once a month or so. Shortly after the adoption, it was decided that we couldn’t continue in that fashion. That summer, while my older daughter was home from school, my wife got a job so we wouldn’t be without income. One morning that fall I walked into my boss’s office to tell my story and give notice. I never got chance to give notice. She simply said, “I don’t care where you work from. Go home.”

So I did. My wife kept her job, and I set up to work from home while at the same time taking care of the twins. A headset for the phone made it possible to comfortably diaper and telecon at the same time, and any work that required unbroken concentration was left until late at night when everyone else was asleep. That also left me awake to attend to anyone who might wake up during the night.

In the 5 years that I have worked from home, I have been back to the “office” once. I have worked hard to make it seem like I am always available and have never refused a call or ignored an email from work. My wife continues to work, and I continue as primary caregiver, since as a remote worker I don’t feel quite as secure as if I were on-site. However, if they decide to let me go tomorrow, it has gotten us over what could have been a very tough period.

When all is said and done, I do have to say that I am extremely grateful to this company (a manufacturing company no less, not a technology or web company) to have allowed me the opportunity to do this. The twins are now in kindergarten, and will start first grade in the fall, which will make things much easier during the day. Once they are in school full time, the prospect of a job outside the home becomes a possibility, but I would only do so if I were let go from my current position.”

I thank everyone for sharing these with us, and encourage others to tell their story as well!

Post from: Blisstree

Balancing Career and Kids: Do You Have a Tale to Tell?

It’s a hot topic these days.  I know of a few friends who have had their jobs in whole or part shipped somewhere else to be done cheaper.  With the economy slagging, concerns about outsourcing have become even greater.

I caught this list of jobs that aren’t going to be outsourced anytime soon and was happy to see that there will always be some jobs where you need to be live and in person in order to do them.  Many of these, like electricians and plumbers, also pay very well.

Post from: Blisstree

Jobs That Will Not Be Outsourced

She’s the type of person that doesn’t let you “land” when you come in the office. As soon as my key is in the door, she’s asking me about something or just starts talking.

It wasn’t until I read this article at Web Worker Daily that I realized she’s messing with my pre-work rituals:

Whether it’s vacuuming your keyboard, taking a long walk, or making a pot of coffee, you probably have a routine that you do before you get started with work. This routine seems so mundane and simple, yet, without it, you can’t get started.

I’ve got a few things I do to get in the work frame of mind and not being able to do them has made things “off” all week.

Reading back over that, it sounds like I’m a touch OCD. That’s not quite what I mean.

To get settled in to work, I usually take just a few minutes of quiet time to skim the news, get some coffee, go over my to-do list, etc. and I didn’t realize it until I read this article, that those things are an important part of the rhythm of the day.

She’s coming in late tomorrow, so I’m going to take back my routine.

Post from: Blisstree

Pre-work rituals

I loved these tips from Career Builder about “slacking off” at work.  What they’re really talking about is not goofing off but ways to manage your work life in a more sane way. 

For example, their point about “email can wait” is definitely true.  I’ve been working on that one myself.  I tend to keep my email open throughout the day, and then immediately jump on it as soon as it comes in.  Instead, I should answer emails one or two times a day.  Keeping my email program closed will help me from jumping from whatever I’m working on to my email (and back and forth) and thus keep me more productive.

I also liked this point:  “don’t multitask.”  I know, it just seems wrong when you first hear it, doesn’t it?  But it’s true.  I’ve found this enormously helpful now that I’m a freelancer.  I have many projects and if I don’t focus on one and get it done before jumping to the next, I find myself feeling overwhelmed by my workload. 

The point I had a hard time with was the last one:  “schedule some me time.”  Have you ever done this?  I’ve never actually scheduled time “for myself” and to be honest, I’m not sure I’d know what to do with the time if I did.  To me, feeling more at ease about workload versus how much time I’m devoting to my family is enough.  Although I do believe we all need time to ourselves occasionally. 

What’s your tip about “slacking off at work”?  Have you found a saving grace in your work day? 

Post from: Blisstree

Slacking Off at Work

What’s the one thing that will keep you at your job?

Pay?  Easy commute?  Advancement?

How about that popular work-life balance?  One recent study found that work-life balance was the number one factor in retaining employees.  That study, for some reason, blew me away.  Any time I’ve left a job it’s because of something like a lousy boss or more pay or increased opportunities.  It wasn’t work-life balance, despite the fact that I was desperately worn out and worked too much. 

Does that make me abnormal?  Hey – anything’s possible!

To be fair, once I hit my 40s, I changed the way I worked.  So perhaps there comes a time when workers trade out pay and advancement for more flexibility.  In the study referenced above, five “key aspects of work-life balance” were mentioned.  See if you agree with these:

1) wellbeing

2) satisfaction

3) workload

4) security

5) relationships

When I saw this list, the one that stood out for me was #3:  workload.  I thought that should have been first.  I also believe that if you take someone with a strong well being (#1 on the list) and put them in a toxic environment, you’ll create an unhappy worker. 

What do you think?  What’s your idea of the top factors in creating a sane work-life balance for you?

Post from: Blisstree

Number One Factor in Retaining Staff

I’m always a little bit leery about people who claim an easy fix to the issues people face in the workplace today just by suggesting folks need to have a better attitude.

Take me, for example. 

I started out as the most positive person in my earlier years at work, to the point where I annoyed others.  I decided that unlike my parents, I would LOVE my job and be happy, happy, happy no matter what.  The problem?  My employers didn’t seem to think this was a good enough reason to treat me well.

In fact, in my early years I got a lot dumped on me because I had a good attitude.  I was the one that never complained so if there was more to be done, it got heaped upon my desk.  My response would always be “no problem!”

After a while, it got old.

So I was intrigued by this article that talks about work-life balance, attitude, and what I was doing wrong all the years I was in my other jobs.  Specifically, this quote from American psychologist Stephen Lundin caught my eye:

“There’s talk about this work-life balance, but I have another view: it’s just life.

Interesting, no?  More than a mere quote, however, Lundin has a four-step plan he says will transform a work environment from one of boring servitude to happiness in a bottle.  He says four components “mixed in the right proportions, result in a high quality of life at work.”

Those four components are:  “play, making someone’s day, being there, and choosing one’s attitude.”

My first reaction was that someone would need to find the type of environment where these four components could exist, but I think it’s more than that.  People need to carve out joyful moments and attitude despite the corporate nonesense that goes on around them.  However, as we all know, sometimes a job is simply too toxic to stick around in.

To that end, Lundin says, “managerial arrogance” is the number one reason a work environment will remain unhappy.  I can see the truth in that.  In order for a culture to truly change, it has to go from the top down as well as the bottom up.  In other words, the big wigs have to be committed to changing, too.

Lindin’s advice if your job is simply a toxic wasteland? 

“You do what you can do in the place where you influence, but if your life is suffering because of it, you start looking for ways to find a different place to play.  Because life is too short to suffer arrogance.”

Post from: Blisstree

Having Fun at Work? It’s All in the Attitude!

Is this whole work-life balance thing a problem for everyone but Generation Y? 

Granted, Gen Yers are younger and may not be juggling family and career at this point.  But after reading an article that talked about how Gen Y’ers are generally so comfortable with technology they don’t view free time the same as other generations, I had to wonder how this might change our general workforce going forward.

Emma Reynolds, for example, is the cofounder of a group called Ask Gen Y.  She says:

“When I’m working, I am on e-mail all the time, which I use for personal e-mail as well,” and “… while working, I log onto Facebook and communicate that way. There is a complete blur for me between work and play.”

While I think there is some truth to this, I also think it doesn’t always play well in a corporate setting.  As a Gen Xer, I saw too many of the younger generation take the attitude that they had completed a day’s work so they could do personal stuff because they “were done,” when in reality there was plenty more work to do.  They just didn’t ask.  So guess who got to do the leftover stuff?  Everyone but Gen Yers.

The Gen Yers may argue that they value free time more than the rest of us, and therefore don’t see the benefit of busting their humps.  Again, I can see this argument in theory, but not in reality.  In the real world, when someone else slacks off (even if they have a certain amount “done” and feel their day is over) there is usually still more that should have been done. 

At least in the places I’ve worked, there wasn’t much of an expectation for the Gen Yers because they didn’t seem that motiviated.  This was a perception based on the attitude that if they completed the first thing handed to them, they were “done.”  They never came back and said, “I finished this, what else can I do?”  Instead they texted pals or went on Facebook.

This is one person’s perspective, of course, but I know through talking with friends that I’m not alone in the experience that work that gets leftover then gets completed by a GenXer or Baby Boomer.  So what will happen when the older ones retire?  What kind of workforce will we have then?  More than that, what is your experience?  Do you think Gen Yers have the same motivation the older workforce does?

Post from: Blisstree

Generation Y and Work Life Balance