It takes a very interesting look at what many, including probably myself, think of as the ideal – mom and dad working 30ish flexible hours and sharing equally the housework and parenting.

Life, and the other people that exist in it – like your boss and his boss – intrude on the ideal, of course.

Statistics show that even though women are working more they are still doing twice the housework and the same amount of childcare they were doing before. In other words, it’s not so equal in real life.

Many blame this on centuries of ingrained gender roles that are deep as DNA and hard to shake.

The article takes a fascinating look at how lesbian couples manage the work, household chores and childcare. Take gender out of the equation and what happens? It’s much more equal – but they work at it.

Also interesting is the biggest indicator of who does more work or plays what roles is your FRIENDS.

Evidently, peer pressure effects more than whether you will take the hit off the bong in high school. It also effects whether you will keep your job or quit, whether you expect him to do the dishes or you don’t, whether he takes the kids to the park or puts them to bed or mops the floor. The biggest indicator is what your other couple friends are doing and what roles they are playing in their marriages. Isn’t that odd? And fascinating?

Maybe I’ll reevaluate my friendships in that light.

Go check out When Mom and Dad Share It All by Lisa Belkin. You’ll find a family-labor issue you can relate to.

Post from: Blisstree

Equal Families – NY Times

Now that The Pet Set is up and running and doing pretty well, there is an evil little voice in the back of my head who says (imagine a little devil sitting on your shoulder)

• “look at that view–go, you know you want to get back in with go-getters, you know you weren’t made to sit at home in your pjs, you’re so smart, you were meant to run a giant corporation in Manhattan, you’ll be on the cover of Fortune Magazine someday, people who call it a ‘rat race’ are just wimps”—and so on.

Here in lies the rub. I haven’t stepped foot in an office in 3 years. My resume is horribly out of date. And here’s the big one: I’m too old. I would be trying to compete with the young and the beautiful. My boss would probably be much younger than me…I’d have to re-enter at a lower position than when I left.

Not to mention, I’d have to try to manage a position and The Pet Set, which would make a normal 12-hour Manhattan work day…more like 18-20 hours.

Is it worth it?

Photo: Flickr.com

Post from: Blisstree

Should I go back to work?

How about the ones we tell “keep from hurting other’s feelings”: “Oh what a beautiful baby.” “No, I can’t even tell you have 3 cats in your house.” Funny?

But in the office, telling lies is usually about self-perservation and can be costly. And, according to a recent piece written by Andrea for Gannet News Service, — Most workers will lie to avoid confrontations.

• The lie can be as small as telling someone you like their outfit or new hairstyle when you hate it because you don’t want to hurt their feelings, or saying traffic made you late when, in fact, you overslept. It can be as significant as not telling your boss the paperwork that’s due today hasn’t been taken out of the envelope for fear of losing the account.

I’m not talking about the shame of Enron or spying lies, I’m talking about your garden variety, the ones we tell to cover our rear-ends…(although you can see how an office culture of lying can lead to an Enron, no?) or at the very least, distrust among colleagues.

My story happened while employed at a large bank in Manhattan. The people-pleasing part of me can sometimes get the best of me.

I was new, and wanted to impress the higher-ups…so, I did what any dope would do, I took on an assignment that was completely over my head. Everyone else in the department seemed to take on these Herculean tasks and get kudos and affirming nods from the top brass. What I didn’t know, was that they were “accepting” the responsibility and then farming it out…to overworked underlings.

This strategy does two things. It makes you look good in front of the boss at the start of the project, and it allows for a scapegoat if something goes wrong. Beautiful, right?

Those are the kind of maneuvers about which I have no clue. Never received those tools. So, I tried to do EVERYTHING myself, and in the process sabotaged myself. Anything that could go wrong, did: misidentified mailing lists, typos, wrong addresses, poorly written copy, abysmal internal meetings…you name it.

Why did this happen? Because I lied from the start. Had I said “I’ll manage this project, but I’ll need help”…I proably would have gotten the project done properly, and retaiined some self-respect…but instead, I ended up looking weak, clueless and distrustful.

I’m thinking the most reasonable way to avoid mix-ups, anxiety and damage to your career — is to be a stand up gal.

Post from: Blisstree

Are We A Nation of Professional Liars?

• Bank
• Blog Fabulous
• Landscaper
• Photo prints
• Phone company
• Printer
• The Pet Set marketing
• Dishes|Dinner

I called the landscaper and that turned in to a 30 minute discussion about retainer walls. Meanwhile, I have to get some heavy lifting done in terms of marketing/sales for The Pet Set…or should I post a blog…maybe the dishes…what should I make for dinner tonight…oh, you know what? the dog needs a brushing…need to get some marketing done for The Pet Set…printer, I need to find a printer….maybe the office needs to be redecorated…

Doesn’t sound very focused to you? One of the beauty parts about working from home is that you can find a way to balance your life. I have found a way to have the house things co-exist with the business things on the same list. Something I would not have been able to do in corporate life…heck commuting took up 35% of the day! And did you notice, taking a shower is not on the list yet…’cause that’s optional…lol.

Ok…time to make more tea.

Post from: Blisstree

How Do You Stay Focused?