Today was one of those days.

My middle child is straddling the line between being sick and well. He’s not sick enough to be really sick, but he’s not quite “well” either.

I made the mistake of asking him if he felt like going to school this morning, I couldn’t decide how he was feeling. Unlike my oldest child who will give the question genuine thought, my middle one immediately said, “No, I need to stay home,” and so it was.

Things are a lot easier now that he’s old enough to stay by himself in certain situations. I took him back home (we’d driven to school) and let him sleep for a while. When he woke up, I went on to work for a while since I really needed to be there for several reasons.

I came back home at lunch and took him to the doctor (he’s fine) and took him back home and went back to work again since his dad was going to be home shortly after that. I even accomplished a few things while I was at work, too.

Like I said, that particular juggle is a little easier on the schedule now that they’re older, but apparently it’s harder on the car because I put over 100 miles on it today.

Post from: Blisstree

Sick kids and working parents

If you’re in the United States, you would have to have been under a rock not to know that Republican John McCain selected Sarah Palin, Governor of Alaska, as his running mate on Friday.

Palin is also the mother of 5 children ranging in age from 19 years to 5 months and one of the issues debated around the water cooler in offices (both physical and virtual) across America is, “Should she be spending this much time away from her kids to run for Vice President? Can she really do both?”

In the debate over working mothers, people (usually in order to appear open minded, tolerant or whatever) are fond of saying, “A woman should do whatever’s best for her family”, yet from what I’ve read, Sarah Palin doesn’t seem to be afforded that permission.

Those people with an opinion have been shrill in their cries of, “How can she do this to her children? She should be home!”

While it does seem like she’s going to be awfully busy the next few months, I have no idea what running for vice-president entails, I’ve never done it, I have no idea what she’s facing or what her family arrangements are. However, I think it’s a safe bet that she and her husband discussed the matter before she accepted the offer.

I’m neither a fan nor a detractor of hers, it’s simply not my business what she does or how she does it. It’s curious though, that this topic really hasn’t come up about Barack Obama, father of two young girls.

What say you?

Post from: Blisstree

Sarah Palin and her children

I’m married to a teacher, and with him and the kids on summer vacation, I’m beat since I don’t exactly get to do “summer” like they do. My summer schedule is much like my fall, winter and spring schedule.

I think they have a hard time remembering I still have to go to work and the house has become a 24 hour operation. There are non-native (to our house) kids everywhere, my husband has our middle child on a fishing trip right now, so I’m left with the 6 year old and the teenager in the throes of the summer before she starts high school.

If you have a teen, you know that summer isn’t about relaxation for you, it’s about handing out money and driving all over God’s green earth and waiting places. So, tonight, she’s having a friend to spend the night, they’re at a party that ends at 11pm, so I have to drag the 6 year old out with me to pick them up, and I have that pesky job thing to go to tomorrow.

Sure, I could tell her she can’t go to the party, but that would make it about me, and I don’t want to do that when there’s not a good reason she shouldn’t go.

One day, she’ll understand what it all means, but right now it’s her job to be a kid, and not worry about my job. She’ll have a job of her own to worry about someday all too soon.

Post from: Blisstree

The summer fun continues

I’ve never been a step parent, but I do know enough to be shocked when she wrote about people assuming she had all kinds of time to work extra since she wasn’t “really a parent”.

Everyone’s situation is different, I’m sure, but if you’re married to someone who brought young kids into the marriage, then you are parenting them. Your schedule may be different from someone else’s if the kids aren’t with you full time, but the responsibilities are still there.

Have you had the experience of being treated as “less of a working parent” because you are a step parent?

Post from: Blisstree

Does being a step parent make you any less of a “working parent”?

He’s a Marine, so he puts energy and efficiency into everything he does. He worked 6 days a week when I was growing up since he was in retail management. I remember asking him why he didn’t carry a briefcase, and, he replied, “Because that’s used for bringing work home.”

It wasn’t until I was much older that it made sense to me.

My mother didn’t work outside the home until I was in my late teens.

Even though she worked some evenings and weekends, I never once saw her doing work at home, and, when she left work for the day, she left everything behind, and, was able to relax and devote her full attention to home because she always said that “work’s not going anywhere, I’ll do it when I go back.”

Both of their actions have stuck with me even though I have a different type of job that has occasionally threatened to come home with me.

When I’ve been tempted to bring things home to “catch up”, I’ve learned to let it go, or, to do things differently during my work hours because I actively remember my father’s words and I try mightily to keep work away from home when I can.

I think if I had grown up with a father who brought work home on a regular basis, I would probably do so myself because I have to fight that tendency, so, my parents definitely influenced how I perceive work and life with kids.

How about you? Did your upbringing influence your thoughts on having a career and kids?

Post from: Blisstree

Did you get your work-life balance views from your parents?

Fortunately, everything worked out well, but, I have been there when you are needed in two places at once, and, sometimes you have to come up with some creative solutions.

When my oldest child was very young, both my husband and I had one of those “must be there no matter what” days at work, and, the events in question were very close in time. As you might guess, our daughter woke up sick that day and couldn’t go to daycare.

Since she wasn’t feeling too badly, we all got in the car and went to my work. I did whatever it was that needed doing, and, my husband entertained her in the cafeteria.

Then, we got back in the car, and, went to his work and I entertained her while he gave his exams (he’s a teacher).

It turned out that another teacher had a sick kid at exams, so, I took both kids for a while, and, everyone was able to get their jobs done.

Ideal? No, but, in that situation, it was good enough, and, sometimes you just have to to what you have to do. Despite the stress of being needed by both your job and your kids, things usually turns out fine in the end.

Post from: Blisstree

When you’re needed two places at once

I’ve been a parent for 13 years, and, I’ve heard a lot of stuff about working parents. I’ve been a smart alec longer than that, so, I have my prepared responses to some of the classics.

For the most part, I just let people say whatever they have to say, and, for all I know I may have inadvertently offended someone with something I’ve said.

Everyone is just too touchy about this stuff, sometimes.

But, every now and then, I’m inspired to speak up, much to most people’s dismay.

While I can’t speak to the work at home statements, or, the statements made to fathers in Brian’s post, I’ll try my hand at responding to the other statements:

# Did you know that daycare will mess your kid up? (Nah, we’re doing that pretty well all on our own, but, thanks.)

# I guess you have to work, right?(Well, it’s just that my kids are funny about wanting dinner every night, and, we like to indulge because we’re never home to see them.)

# Your husband/wife must stay home with the kids, right? (Bwhahahahaha!!)

# Will you be babysitting this weekend? (HATE this one when referring to a father. I usually don’t engage, but, I will say something about this one)

I will also add my all time favorite about daycare:

#I could never let a stranger raise my kids” (Hey, me neither, that’s why I always make sure I take them to their correct teacher each day. Good point, though. Oh, and, if they’re raising my kids, then they are totally slacking because I had to get up way early to meet the waffle demands Saturday morning. Where were they then, huh? )

Sometimes people are just rude, sometimes they just don’t understand what they are saying, but, people are going to say what they’re going to say about most any life situation, parenting just happens to be a big one in the media.

Post from: Blisstree

Things NOT to say to a working parent

Don’t miss:

Know Thyself from Oh, The Joys
Face Your Work Week With a Little Less Guilt thoughts from a work at home mom at Love Shak, Baby
Guilt trip: Long hours vs. loved ones: Long hours on the job leave many Americans feeling guilty over the time taken from their families.

Not that having a career and kids is all about guilt (after all, there’s usually no time to feel guilty), but, sometimes it’s nice to have other perspectives on making life and work fit together.

Post from: Blisstree

Working Parent Link Dump

You have lost your Working Parent Street Cred.

The metreoric rise through the office ranks sustained you for years.  Then, your priorities shifted to diapers, tantrums, and funny stories to tell around the office.  Your peers were fascinated by every tale.  They were amazed that you could get so much done in the office and still manage to spend time with your kids.

Then one day you told everybody about how your kid scored the winning goal in her soccer game the night before, and nobody even smiled.  When you got back to your cubicle, you realized that you have not changed desks in five years and have been lucky to scrape by with cost of living increases.

You have lost your Working Parent Street Cred.

You are not alone.  This problem affects every working parent at some point in their career.  You need to learn the trick that they know about how to reestablish your Working Parent Street Cred.  And, for a special introductory rate of $0 dollars, I will show you their secret.

Case Study – Madonna

Madonna is a working mother. Nobody is really sure if you can call what she has done for the past 20+ years a career, but she has definitely been busy. She also has two kids, but they are 5 and 9 and nobody really thinks about them anymore.

She had lost her Working Parent Street Cred.

Madonna needed to reestablish her Working Parent Street Cred, so she did what every rich celebrity does. She took a trip to Africa and bought herself some new publicity…I mean a baby.

It worked for Angelina Jolie. We hardly even think of her as an actress anymore. We think of her as a hard working mother saving African children one adoption at a time. We think of her hanging with the officials in the UN building. She became a working mom, she reestablished her Working Parent Street Cred.
Madonna’s performance career is on a downswing. She seems like she would be a good fit for speaking about the poverty problems in Africa since she is willing to say anything at anytime to anybody that will listen.  She can give concerts with the proceeds going to charity. But, to get the lucrative engagements with the U.N., you have to actually adopt a child from Africa.

That’s right.   The secret is high profile adoptions.  I’m not talking about adopting some kid from Philadelphia.  I’m talking about saving some child from malaria and AIDS by dragging them out of the heart of Africa.  Once you have your cushy U.N. assignment, you will be able to keep your child connected with his heritage during your yearly photo op trips back to Africa.  The R.O.I. is almost instantaneous.
People will be amazed that you were willing to take on the challenges of adopting a child with so many potential problems.  People will be amazed that you are able to juggle parenting with the many responsibilities of talking with U.N. officials.  People will be amazed that you have shaken Angelina Jolie’s hand.

You will once again have Working Parent Street Cred.

Act now.  Contact your favorite African country leader and schedule your adoption visit today.

Post from: Blisstree

Reestablish Your Working Parent Street Cred