5 Tips for Telling Your Kids “No”
October 13, 2009 by Karen Weideman
Filed under finances, financial matters, parenting
Sometimes more than we’d care to, we have to tell our kids “no”. They want a new dress, a new toy, to go out to eat, and to buy whatever they decide that can’t live without. Raising kids can be very expensive and it’s important to realize that you can’t give in to their every request. Not only will you put yourself into a financial mess, but you’ll also be depriving your child of important life lessons.
Telling our kids “no” is inevitable. Here are some tips to make it a little easier.
1) Use emphathetic and understanding statements. “I understand that you want this new outfit for the dance, but it’s not in the budget. Maybe we could find something on the clearance rack or at the thrift store that you would like.” “I’m sorry that you feel this way.”
2) Teach them to be creative and unique. Show your child how to create their own style. Teach them how to repurpose old things.
3) Provide them opportunities to earn money. If your child wants something special then tell them they can have it so long as they earn the money. You can even explain how you work for the things the family has.
4) Compromise. If your child really wants something and you can tell it’s not just a passing thought, then find a way to work with them. If the item is $75, then maybe they can earn half of the money through extra chores around the house and you can pay for the rest of the item.
5) Set an example. If you are out frivilously spending money and making impulse purchases, then you are teaching your children that this kind of behavior is acceptable. Yes, you’re the adult and you can make your own decisions, but it’s wise to teach your children how to make smart financial choices.
Do you have any tips for telling children “no”?
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Good article. I think one of the best things about giving our 3-year-old an allowance is that when he asks if he can get a toy, I tell him he can save up his money to buy it. Most of his wants are forgotten five minutes later, so we avoid an argument while, hopefully, teaching him about saving and delayed gratification.
I loved this article!! I enjoyed the practical ideas and opportunities to teach our kids the value of budgeting and making wise decisions about money!
I posted your great article on my Facebook Page
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Seattle-WA/The-Soulful-Parent/235517685300?ref=ts
Thank you!!
Sandra Huber-The Soulful Parent
http://www.thesoulfulparent.com
Tweet me @soulfulparent
Thanks Sandra. Glad you enjoyed it.
I have taught my 12 and 7 year old boys the difference between a need and a want, and also the motto “we aren’t spending money we don’t have on things we don’t need.” Thus, when they ask for a frivolous item, we establish quickly if it is a need or a want (more than likely a want.) If it is a want, they need to use their own money. If it is a true need (example, a new pair of jeans), we would look at the most cost effective way to get a quality product. Sometimes this is a thrift or used clothing store, other times we buy new. But we also don’t buy junk…another lesson we have taught. Better to buy good used than a cheap piece of garbage that isn’t going to last!