Argue less about money
October 5, 2009 by Jennifer Chait
Filed under family, marriage
While it’s true that an abysmal economy makes for better divorces, that doesn’t mean you HAVE to break up over money issues. Sadly, many couple do. In fact much research points out that money is the number one reason couple fight and break up. Avoid this by using the following tactics.
Know what’s what before hand: Before leaping into a relationship make sure you discuss money. I know it’s not romantic or always fun, but knowing your couple money mindset before you become a twosome can save you some trouble in the long run.
Split your stash: If you have your own cash supply it makes it easier there’s no consulting each other about purchases, there’s no balancing a checkbook together if one of you hates to do so. Make a general budget where you figure the bills each paying half, and if you don’t want to go that far, pay all the bills together as normal, then split the difference between your separate bank accounts.
Share tasks OR don’t: Some couple have one money savvy individual and one non-savvy person. It’s smart to leave the money savvy person in charge of tasks if that makes things easier. You have to be careful though. It’s a lot of work to always be the one writing the checks, balancing the checkbook, and dolling out allowances to the kids. Make sure the partner in charge is not feeling the brunt of all that work. This will depend on your own couple style. For example I’m perfectly happy to do all the money tasks in my household – I like it, and it makes me feel more comfortable, I could take the help or leave it. Some people hate this though.
Know what matters most: Hint – it’s not money. Money is cool and all but take a serious look at your partners pros before getting all nuts over cash differences. Does your partner gamble excessively? Hit you? Cheat on you? Rob banks? No? Ok then, money is a little thing in comparison to issues that should really make or break a partnership. Do you really want to break up over not being able to agree on a new couch? Be realistic. It’s expensive to break up and talking it out is cheap.
[image via stock.xchng]
My husband and I have always had separate checking accounts. We have a joint savings account that we both put money into and we use that for major purchases (vacations, new furniture, etc.). We very rarely argue about money because we have our own “spending money” which we can do with what we please. Works really well for us!