Financially Compatible Spouses & Partners
March 23, 2009 by Jennifer Chait
Filed under debt/credit, finances, financial matters
If you’re getting married or considering a life with a significant other, then you should discuss money matters before hooking up for the long term. Some money issues just need a little discussion, while others are MAJOR warning signs that late on there could be problems.
Things to discuss:
Your spending priorities: Are both of you interested in saving for a house, kids, a car, or is only one of you into that? Do you have different spending styles? I.e does one of you live to shop while the other is a minimalist.
Do you agree on how much money should go to charities or other community organizations?
Do both of you anticipate long-term employment, or is one of you considering a career switch or quitting work entirely somewhere down the line?
Do you agree about loaning money out to friends and family – how much and how often?
ISSUE: Your partner and you balance the checkbook differently.
Not too big a deal, but keep separate accounts. My ex and I shared all our cash equally, i.e for bills and what-not, but kept our actual money in different accounts because I’m anal, and need to balance my checkbook daily, while the ex liked to call the bank once a month to check his balance. He always sort of knew what was going on, but that’s way too casual for me.
ISSUE: One of you has debt.
Sort of a big deal, but it could be worse. Just getting married or involved for the long-term won’t mix your credit scores, so long as you don’t open any joint accounts. However, renting and setting up utilities can be hard if the place needs both your names and one of you has sucky credit. The best thing to do is to make sure that the partner with poor credit is working on it, trying to improve it and in the meantime keep your names as disconnected as possible when it comes to credit cards and loans. Poor credit is not great, but doesn’t have to be a partner deal breaker (like the issue below).
ISSUE: Your partner gambles.
A HUGE deal. Take it from someone who knows folks who have been there. A gambler is a huge financial risk if you get involved for the long term. You can’t change their habits, they’ll need to. You may end up hiding your wallet, getting into debt, or dealing with a violent individual who is mad that you don’t like their habit. THINK very, very carefully before getting hitched with an addicted gambler (who is not in recovery).
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