Frugal Friday 19: Contentment
August 17, 2007 by Karen Weideman
Filed under financial matters, frugal friday
This week I was surprised when I heard someone saying that she needed to get a part-time job.
Why does she need another job? Her husband has a good job and has been employed at the same company for years. She has been at the same well paying job for probably 15 years or more. They have a nice house, but they have owned it for a while so their payments shouldn’t be much, probably even less than mine.
And so I wonder how does a family of four in which the parents have two really good paying jobs need more money? I think that most of the answer lies within contentment. Why do we have to have the nicest clothes and a new car every few years? Why are we not content with buying a car a few years old? No, we have to have the car that has the fold down seats and other special features so we pay another $20,000 for it. $20,000?!?!!! That just seems insane. Twenty thousand dollars for a few luxuries.
Or how about the man or woman that looks for fulfullment beyond their own marriage because their spouse doesn’t give them enough attention. There are days when my husband gets on my nerves and I know there are days when I get on his, but we have to be content with one another and know (and pray!) that the bad days will pass. It would be really hard to find someone else that would love me and my kids the way that he does, provide for our family, come home every night, and love God.
It seems that some people will always be living up to the extent of their means no matter how much money they make. If we make $20,000 a year, then we’ll have $16,000 a year in bills. If we make $60,000 a year, then we’ll have $35,000 a year in bills and spend the other on having a good time.
I rack my brain trying to figure out the reason behind all this madness. When it’s all said and done, what do we have to show for our money? Why are we spending $20,000 on depreciation of a vehicle? Why aren’t we putting the $20,000 in an IRA, mutual fund, or college fund for our children?
The average American spends more money than they make. When will this stop? It is going to catch up with us at some time or another; possibly when it comes down to robbing Peter to pay Paul, as the saying goes. Do you have to get a cash advance on your Visa to pay your car payment?
I know someone that will only buy his clothes at Hollister or Abercrombie & Fitch. This same person compliments my husband on his clothes and my husband tells him that they came from Wal-Mart or Target. My husband told this guy that he should take his $75 that he was going to use to buy shorts and Hollister and spend it at Wal-Mart getting 6 pairs of shorts. The guy said, “No way. I’m not buying my shorts from Wal-Mart.” Ok, so he liked them, but basically there is a pride issue there to where he won’t buy his clothes from Wal-Mart. How many of us are like that with different issues?
Folks, I don’t mean for this to sound preachy because I have been horribly in debt. Trust me. It’s not a fun place to be in. Debt weighs us down and these material possessions will only last for a time. Soon the debt will catch up with us.
Materialism is a barrier to contentment. Whether or not you’re a believer, the Bible has some good things to say about contentment. I think we all could benefit from them.
Be content with what you have. Hebrews 13:5
I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength. Philippians 4:11-13
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I know what it is like to be in debt. I have felt it’s choking hold. It is no fun. Debt keeps you from doing the things that you want to do and that you are called to do. Debt makes you worry what is going to happen to your family if you were to be unemployed for a week or two. Like I said, I have been there, so I can relate. Taking the Financial Peace classes that I have mentioned before has really helped our family. We are making positive steps now.
I’m not saying that every 2 income family with money problems isn’t content. I know that some people have medical bills and other circumstances that have prohibited them from succeding. The issue here is contentment, which is a lifestyle, and not one that is full of pride and covetousness.
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I’ve written about the same thing. Contentment is key. My definition of “rich” is “how content you are with what you have”. I know so many people who make tons of money and have a lot who talk like they are poor. But I also know people who make little money no few luxuries who feel incredibly rich.
Contentment. Something to strive for.
I struggle with want vs need frequently. It helps me to turn off the TV and not see what every new gizmo is. I live in an area ripe with over-priced everything and soccer moms galore. The competition amongst them is fierce and I just don’t even WANT to be in that atmosphere. I think the media showving all the new choices at us constantly, bombarding us, is affecting everything too much. But we, as wise consumers, can decide what we do with our money. It’s hard sometimes, resisting, sacrificing, doing without, being happy with what you have…
I have been trying to give up stuff. Do without. For the most part, I am doing it. But I slip up every once in a while.
Great srticle. Your site keeps me focused on my goal.
We have some debt right now due to school loans. My husband gets a stipend that would be perfect for a single student but not for five people. Luckily the loans we’ve had to take out are relatively small and we will be able to pay it back quickly if we keeping beign smart.
We have really had to differentiate between wants and needs. We cancelled cable a while back, have started eating meals that may not be restaraunt worthy but they are cheap and nourishing and we’ve started handwashing our own laudnry to save the expense of the laundromat.
My wife and I are by no means frugal, but we have made adaptations in our standard of living to accommodate her staying home with the kids. Our last three couches have come, respectively, from a thrift store, Craig’s List, and the side of the road. It just makes no sense to us to spend more than $1000 for a couch when the kids will destroy it within six months anyway, so we just take what we can find. We always buy our cars used and we keep our monthly payments at $200 a month or less. I’m driving a really nice car right now with leather seats and 4 wheel drive; we just bought it 5 years old and wouldn’t budge on the $200 financing cap. It’s possible to live well without living expensively, you just have to exercise wisdom (Proverbs is a good place to start).
I agree this whole beat the neighbors mentality is stupid. I know two people who have no kids and live in a house with 20 (20!!) rooms. It drains money and earth resources. I know other families who want to have one parent home to be with the kids but say they can’t afford it but they have three TVs and four cars. Come on. It’s so lame. I work at home and unschool my son and I’m a single parent. But time with Cedar is far more important than shoes to me. I wish we had a little more but just enough to save some. Basically you really only need what you need with a little left over for fun and a bit to save not all this extra crap. Very good post – I totally agree.
I agree in this case about contentment- it’s very natural though for people to think the grass is greener on the other side. If only I had this, if only my husband was like…
I remember when I lived in an apartment for a long time- I thought if I had a house, I would be so much happier. Then God gave me a house and I went through a really rough period of time for 2 years right after. Did the house make me happy- not even close. In fact I looked back and longed for all the good times of the 3 prior years that were very good and happened to be in a cramped apartment. -Michelle