How Much Have You Paid to Be in a Wedding?
August 8, 2008 by Karen Weideman
Filed under poll
I was listening to Candy and Potter today and they were talking about weddings. Listeners were calling in and telling how much they’ve spent to be in someone’s wedding. I listened for a while because my husband was just in a wedding last week. The cost involved really hit home for me.
When my husband and I got married, I tried to be very considerate of other people’s expenses and I didn’t want to cause them any financial stress. One of the ways that I did this was by choosing a dress pattern for the bridesmaids. I bought the material and pattern for them. All they had to do was make the dress themselves or hire someone to make it for them and they also needed to purchase their shoes.
So, all this has me wondering . . . what’s the most you’ve spent to be in a wedding? When you got married, were you considerate of your wedding party or did you pick out expensive dresses and tuxedos? Please vote in the poll in the sidebar and/or join in the discussion below. Thanks!
P.S. You might also be interested in reading 20 Ways to Save Money on Your Wedding.
I paid for my bridemaid’s dresses too, so all they had to get was the shoes. We chose the least expensive tuxes for the guys to buy. Still, if I had it to do over again, I wouldn’t ask them to even do that, I don’t think.
When my brother-in-law got married, he paid for my son’s tux and my daughter’s dress.
I did pay about 90 bucks to be in my best friend’s wedding, for dress and shoes. That’s the only time I’ve been “in” the wedding. Often I was the soloist.
I’ve only been in my sister’s wedding, and my step-mom made my dress.
for my own wedding, I told my aunt (she and my husband’s brother were our wedding party) what color I wanted and told her to pick a dress and sandles to match. She didn’t have to match anyone, and she was able to find her dress on sale for around $50 and shoes for under $20, IIRC.
There was no bachelorette party, but she did delay her vacation (driving out to OR from MN and back) a day for me. 
Based on discussions with friends over the years, it turns out both my husbands family and my family are on the extreme low end of wedding expenses.
For instance, my sister marries in September and she picked out a $30 dress at Target for all the bridesmaids. Shoes are to be black. Largest expense will be travel.
At my wedding, I asked my friends and sisters wear a white blouse of their choice with skirt from a pattern and material I bought. (Then again we did the entire wedding from ring to my dress to his new suit, and catering, photographer, beautiful reception center, limo, honeymoon night in the Phoenician, honeymooning in Niagara and Manhattan [a treat for Arizonians] for less than $3000).
The key, as we found, is asking favors that do not require direct out of pocket costs.
For instance, my aunt is a professional caterer. My cousin is a photographer (does do weddings, but they turned out great, nevertheless). My husband’s aunt runs a popular wedding reception center out of their common grandparents historical home, complete with limo service (driven by my husbands cousin and wife). My husband was in the jewelry business and designed and had his jeweler make me the perfect ring. The dress came from a Finlene’s Basement and his suit came from Nordstrom’s Rack. Another cousin worked as a bellhop at Phoenician, getting a 5 star suite for only tax (and tips, of course). Finally, my husband combined airline, hotel, and car rental rewards programs from his work to get an awesome 5-day vacation for a fraction of what it would cost.
Perhaps the stars aligned with how many connections we had between my husband and I and not others have such a blessing. Nevertheless, my point in all this is that what better way to start a budget-oriented family lifestyle of life-long saving than being creative with wedding expenditures.
Five years ago my husband was in a wedding and the tux was $120-130 to rent. I thought that was outrageous! Plus, we had a little driving expense and he helped out some with the bachelor outing. Then they asked him to return all the tuxedos. I’m not sure how he got asked to do that b/c he wasn’t best man or anything.
Last week, hubby was in a wedding and it was in another state. He had to rent the tux which was about $130. Twice he had to drive an hour (each way) to the tux place – once to get measured and another time to pick it up. Then he had to drive to the other state and rent a car, plus the gas.
Plus, you need to buy a gift. These things can definitely break your budget!
For my wedding 12 years ago, I had someone make my bridesmaid dresses. The gals only had to pay for the material, so it was kept fairly inexpensive! I think I paid about 70$ for my dress for my brother’s wedding! My frugal mind got cranky because it wasn’t a dress I could wear again.
My wedding was in August in Arizona, so I decided it would be nice to have a more casual wedding. I found different blue striped shirts for $10 each at Aeropostale for our 6 groomsmen, and asked them to wear a pair of navy slacks. Between the 6 of them no one had to buy a pair of slacks, and they got a free shirt out of it! I loved the way it turned out too. I would mention the bridesmaids, but they were all my sisters, so we paid for everything…
Wow. Well . . . after reading those comments, I am floored. I picked $60 dresses for my bridesmaids and they could wear any shoes. I thought it was pretty good – but not compared to some of you!
However, I was just in a wedding where the dress alone was $300. Plus $70 shoes. We had to save for months to afford it. Especially when you include gifts, travel, and helping to pay for a bridal shower. I felt like it was a crazy amount but I think the bride just really has no idea what it’s like for people who don’t have tons of money to blow on stuff.
Interesting conversation. Kinda makes me want to get married again so I can try new and creative ways to save money!
i have only been in my sisters’ weddings and my mom paid for my dresses, which was a huge help!
for my wedding, i told my girls a color and let them pick a dress in their price range that was a good fit for them. they also could wear whatever for shoes and didn’t need to have hair done any particular way or their nails. i bought them jewelry for the day. for the guys, we went to the least expensive place that still had nice tuxes.
The one wedding I was in, I probably spent around $100 for dress/shoes/etc. plus travel expenses.
For my wedding, I told my bridesmaids the color their dress should be, but they got to pick style/etc. They both ended up choosing the same dress and my mom graciously paid for both of them. For the guys, we went with tuxes, but our gift to the guys was to pay for their tuxes (about $200 a pop!) I think we tried to be concious about how much people were paying, esp. since we were having a destination wedding.
I was the matron of honor in a wedding. When it was all said and done I spent $1,200 to be in the wedding, but that included a plane ticket to Florida for the event, dress with alterations, shoes, accessories and a nice gift (the bride’s parents were generous enough to pay for the wedding party’s hotel rooms, which helped).
My wedding in June, I had the girls wear any black dress they wanted, whatever shoes, they didn’t have to get their hair/make up done (though they all chose to get hair washed/dried by someone that morning) and I bought them jewelry. I know they spend money on showers and stuff already, so I tried to be aware of that. I was amazed by how much I spent!! All those gifts for EVERYONE add up. Gift here, gift for this hostess, this parent, this person.
I chose elegant but economical dresses for my bridesmaids and asked them to wear whatever jewelry and black shoes they already owned and liked best with the dress. The dresses I chose cost about the same as the tux rental for my husband’s groomsmen, and while it was one of the cheaper tuxes that we chose, it was by far my favorite style!
My husband’s best friend’s wedding was by FAR the most expensive wedding we’ve attended, and it was totally ridiculous, really. We were both in the wedding, with my dress costing $220 and his RENTAL costing almost $200, can you believe it? We were told we WERE getting our hair done (the bridesmaids) and I was shocked when I got stuck with the bill, only because it wasn’t optional. The wedding was at a resort 5hrs from our home, so we had to rent a room in the hotel @ $99 a night for 3 nights because we were requested to arrive on Thursday evening. I think the grand total including gift was close to $800…to this day it bothers me, so I just don’t think about it!
For my best friend’s wedding, the dress was about $150. I ordered the size that the measuring chart said I was (size 22), but it was several sizes larger than my normal size (16). BIG MISTAKE. $200 in alterations later…
I haven’t had to pay a lot – I’ve been lucky.
I bet that the people whose friends or families chose a “destination wedding” really have to pay a lot. I think that the idea of choosing some place far away and then expecting people to shell a bunch of cash for the honor of attending the wedding is ridiculous.
A wedding should be about the marriage and not so much about the party or the production of it all.
Having been a bridesmaid 8 times…yes 8!…I have spent ALOT of $$ over the years…dress low price was $80 but then shoes, gloves and alterations took it cloe to $200-highest dress was $325 for the dress and then alterations, shoes, gloves and a glamorous hairdo brought me over the $500 mark! I love all the gals I stood up for but those were some crazy days…also had to chip in for some of the bridal showers and gifts! When I married I did them all a favor and eloped in Antigua and threw a big reception (no bridesmaid dresses required) when we returned!
My husband and I got married about a year ago and we actually bought our bridesmaids dresses (less than $30 each on clearance at old navy). I let them pick whatever shoes they wanted and we all did our own hair and makeup.
The guys rented tuxes (the cheapest ones we found – less the vest) and purchased nice blue shirts we picked out (which they have all worn again). I think it cost the guys about $50 total for everything and we bought them all Converse All Stars to wear in the wedding.
Everyone in our wedding has worn their items again at least once that I know of and we had a great time!