Octuplets’ Mom Speaks Out
February 10, 2009 by Karen Weideman
Filed under news
There are some issues that I prefer not to speak about. I try not to get involved in a bunch of drama. However, the issue with the mom that had IVF in order to have more children is under a lot of speculation.
Nadya Suleman is a 33-year-old single mom who already had six children from IVF. She underwent fertility treatments again in hopes of having more children. Nadya used the same fertility specialist for all of her children. He already knew she had six children, yet he continued to treat her for infertility and this time he implanted eight (or six?) embryos. Now Nadya’s doctor is under scrutiny for implanting such a large amount of embryos. According to doctors, medical guidelines state to implant only two embryos.
Nadya also denies accepting government assistance, but now it has been confirmed that she receives food stamps and disability for three of her children. NBC chief medical editor Dr. Nancy Snyderman has estimated the cost of delivering the infants and caring for them until they are healthy enough to leave the hospital at $1.5 million to $3 million. Nadya defends her actions by saying that she was an only child and always dreamed of having a very large family.
Normally, I would stay out of this and let her live her life, but it seems as though Nadya’s choices are affecting more than herself. What do you think about this situation?
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I don’t have issues with family size, I don’t have issues with using fertility treatments, I also don’t have a problem with her being a single mom – what I do have issue with are the lies (she denies being on welfare, then we find out she is – but she considers them “programs” so that’s different) We have heard one child is Autistic – what are the disabilities of the other 2 children? She doesn’t even mention them at all. The same parents she accuses of leaving her with such a dysfunctional childhood that she went super-gestator are the same parents she has left her children in the care of. She used her disabilities checks to fund her IVF, to which she says ran around $100G. Workman’s comp for a bad back which bothered her so much during her first pg and afterward she couldn’t care for her own child. There is rumor that she and her mother or just her or just her mom filed bankruptcy last year – which means they were already having extreme financial hardship. Then she goes on, bad back and all, to have more than dozen more children and at least 5 more pregnancies for reasons which by her own mouth are all about “me, I wanted, I needed, I felt unloved, I was lonely, etc.” She purposefully transferred several embryos even knowing the risks. HOM pgs are guaranteed preemies. The NICU is not a good place, it is not “working out perfectly” and regardless of what those doctors say – the babies are not “great”. NICU stands for Neo-Natal Intensive Care Unit and you don’t end up there unless you require CRITICAL care. They are at risk for long term disabilities and some of them may still develop complications severe enough that they never go home at all. I am a NICU mom (two singletons) and it was a traumatic experience and not one I would take the risk of setting myself up for if I could help it. Yet, she still forged ahead – perfectly manicured french nail tips, collagen enhanced lips talking about how she is going to provide for her kids with student loans. (more assistance) Will put her “life on hold” for her kids and will provide for them with her degree once she gets it. Which I find delusional as if her life is on hold – how does she got back to school to get her degree? Who takes care of the kids? While she is working to support her brood – who takes care of the kids? 10 children under the age of 2? Preemies are extremely HIGH MAINTENANCE even once home. One at a time was overwhelming – 8 at once would be insurmountable.
She doesn’t have a family – she has a day care. And even those have specific guidelines – it is 1 adult per each 2 under 2. Even with her parents and a nanny they are hopelessly “understaffed.”
This also impacts the rest of society – aside from paying to fund her “programs”, as a person who underwent fertility treatments with friends who are doing the same – we are already seeing ripple effects there. Doctors scrapping IUI cycles and scaling back to even more conservative than they were before. Now we have even more fuel for people thinking that those seeking Assisted Reproductive Technologies are obsessive and selfish and the doctors who assist them are quacks.
Sorry this is long and sorry for the rant – the more that comes out about this, the more upset I become by it – because bottom line, the kids are in serious need through her actions. She gives the infertile community – medical and personal – a black eye. She needs psychiatric care and those children need a lot more than she seems capable of providing for them.
I completely agree with Julia. It’s not fair what she is doing to those children or society. She is selfish. Those 14 kids deserve better! And she needs some serious help. We’re in the middle of an economic crisis with people who are losing the jobs they had. We need the money to support people who were working and lost their jobs. Not to support a woman who selfishly wants 14 children.
this woman should be in jail and police should take all her kids for better place.
I was talking about this at work the other day with some of my female coworkers. Two of them stated that they shouldn’t have allowed her to have any more children b/c she is a single mom and I know that there are people who honestly feel that if she were married there wouldn’t be such a hubub about her choice. I dunno.
I think she has the “right” to have as many children as she wants to, but it shouldn’t be up to anyone else to support her kids unless they coose to. I. E. She needs to find a job or something to allow her to care for the family she has w/o forcing other working parents to do so in the form of welfare.
It is just so frustrating to me how her family and her keep saying that she didn’t plan on having that many babies…I call bs. She knowingly implanted more than the recommended amt of embryos to be implanted. I just can’t believe that someone would risk her own life (with so many children depending on her) in a very high-risk pregnancy as well as risking the lives of her unborn children.
I also am a big fan of putting a cap on the number of children that someone can a) use for welfare purposes and b) claim tax deductions on. I think it’s fine if you want to have more kids than that and can support them, but you should understand that after a certain point (say 5 kids or so) you will be financially responsible. Don’t mean to start a debat, that’s just how I feel personally.
First, it is transfer not implant. They transfer hoping the embryos will implant – even if they use “glue.”
Second, the doctor in question is not board certified in even obstetrics/gynecology let alone reproductive endocrinology according to Forbes. He has also had several lawsuits against him from former employers and been under investigation by the IRS for hiding income.
In a woman her age, with her history, as we know it, almost every board certified RE that has been interviewed has said it is a “gross violation of standards and ethics.” This means it is malpractice.
Now, as far as I’m concerned, she is guilty of child endangerment. Nothing less. She knowingly had 6 embryos transferred? I call BS when she says she didn’t expect HOMs. She could have had 2 at a time transferred over 3 FET procedures.
This entire thing smells more and more like a scam to me.
Well-put, and I totally agree. I don’t think anyone can tell her she can’t have more children, but the doctor should have only implanted the max number of embryos. Really he probably should have referred her for counseling. Seems to me that everyone is irresponsible in this, especially her parents, who advocate and encourage it by allowing her to live with them. And now we have to pay.
Well Put Julia!!! I am really Shocked to see the news and as i continued following the story it turned to outrage.I have no issues with her being a single mom,but yes i am surely concerned about her mental state when she decides to have 8 babies when she has toddlers and Infants at home.The very parents she blames for having a bad and lonely childhood are now good enough for her so that she can leave the 6 kids and go ahead and have 8 more babies.
If she wanted a big family she could have gone ahead and adopted some kids.But she did not because no adoption agency would have considered her application in view of her family and financial conditions.She put her health at risk (for which frankly I am not concerned) but more importantly the 8 preemies are at much more risk.They are seriously underweight and will require 24 hours undivided attention.They are being tube fed so that they get the nutrition.As a mom of a child with special needs I know how much mental energy,stamina,love and patience you need to take care of kids with these type of needs and now she has gone ahead and have 8 more babies when she had 3 special children at home.I just pray for the well being of the kids.
I would like to put a slightly different twist on this story. I am currently pregnant with my third child and was heart broken when my co-workers gave me such grief about having more than my share. I was so shocked that people would ask me “don’t you know how that happens by now?” or “You have a boy and a girl, why isn’t your family perfect already to have to add another?”
If she wants 20 kids, then by all means go ahead and have 20. The kicker here, as you gyys have so eloquently put it, is to have as many children as you want but I DO NOT want to pay for it. California is already in a financial crisis as it is. It is totally not fair to force an Californian to help her raise her kids.
Here is the twist … if she needs help, t hen her church and family should step up as I am praying they are. But I believe she should not take a dime for any of her children as long as they are healthy. If they have medical needs, she needs to do what every other parent, single or married, does and get private insurance to help. Then and only then should she be eligible to gain access to public help for the SICK children.
If I lost my job and needed short term assistance, that is one thing. In that situation, I would do everything in my power not to have any more children as I could not afford them. But if you can afford it, then have 20 if you want. Just don’t ask me to help you raise them because you now can’t afford daycare in order to work.
The Duggars have 18 children and support htem jsut fine by themselves with no government assistance. That was their choice. But if this mom needs assistance to support her 6 children, then I personally feel that she should have stopped there or earlier. Not because of hte number of children, but because financial responsibility to her children should come before anything else.
What triggered a big warning to me was her talking about her need for more children. I think she has some issues that need counseling.
I just saw the preview for Dr. Phil. He’s discussing this today!
The doctor is guilty of malpractice and should be held accountable. It should cost him the expense of raising these children! Children should not suffer the insanity of the parent. Child services…where are you?
As much as we might not agree with the way this mom is raising her kids, she isn’t doing anything wrong.
Do you really want the government coming in and taking her kids because she has so many? Where do you draw the line?
Yes, I do. Where do we/I draw the line? Right here! I am thinking of the welfare of the children. This should never have happened and hopefully won’t happen again in this country. The grandmother and grandfather are at the last part of their lives and cannot cope…could you?
She obviously needs counseling and is not in the right state of mind when you have six kids already and get plastic surgery when your living on welfare. The kids need to be in better homes where they can have parents that can care for them and give them all the attention they deserve.
I think we all knew this was coming . . . she has set up a website and is asking for donations.
http://www.inquisitr.com/17898/nadya-suleman-launches-website-asks-for-donations/?obref=outbrain