• An unusual increase of ATM withdrawals and/or credit card cash advances.
• Failure to mention overtime, bonuses, or an increase in pay.
• Unusual purchases to places such as flower shops, jewelry stores, women’s clothing stores, etc.
• An increase in cell phone minutes used, possibly going over the monthly limit.
• A liquidation of assets such as IRAs, saving accounts, money market accounts, etc.
• Avoidance of discussing money issues, the family budget, and spending habits.
• An increase in spending for things such as gasoline, eating out, clothing, and hygiene products.
• A decrease in the amount deposited from his paycheck.
• Running out of money before the next payday.
• Salary discrepencies on the W-2.  This goes along with the issue of money earned versus the overtime he claimed he was working.  Also, look for unexplained business travel expenses.

Other helpful resources:
Infidelity Advice
Women’s Divorce: Signs of Cheating
Divorce Hq:  How to Tell if Your Spouse is Cheating

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Post from: Thrifty Mommy

They say opposites attract and I guess that can be true of friendships as well.  I have had three close friendships.  I’m talking tight, share all secrets with girlfriends.  All three of these ladies had issues with spending.  After being friends with them for a while, I noticed that all of them began to tone down their spending, their impulsive shopping, their wild credit card spending, and they began to look for bargains on the things they purchased. 

Of course when you are close friends with someone, you talk about life.  You talk about the things you buy, the reasons you buy them, what your long term goals are, what you’re saving for, and if money is tight you talk about that too.  Here are some things I have mentioned to my friends that I feel has caused them to be more aware of their spending:

• My objection to car payments – Try to save for a vehicle, pay cash if possible, finance as little as possible, don’t go for a high dollar car, and also the crazy depreciation rates.
• Don’t charge it – Basically, if you can’t afford to pay cash for it, you don’t need it.
• Impulse shopping – Avoid making impulse purchases. Think about it.  Plan for it.  Decide if you can afford it.
• Comparison shop – Look around for the best bargain.  Shop the sales.
• Use coupons – Try to use coupons on groceries, dining out, and entertainment.
• Plan for the future – Leave within your means and save for the future.  Save for a rainy day so that you don’t have to use credit for emergencies.

Have your finances affected your friends?

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Post from: Thrifty Mommy

There are some ways to make sure you get your rebate money.

1)  Make copies of everything before you send it in. My husband and I always make a copy of all of the paperwork.  This includes the papers we filled out, the receipt, UPC, and any other information that we send in.  We also write the date mailed on top of the paperwork and file it away.

2)  Follow the instructions. Follow the exact instructions on the rebate, no matter how silly they sound.  Be sure to include the original receipt (if stated on the form), completed paperwork, any labels or UPC labels specified.

3)  Mail the paperwork immediately. This is one of the major causes of unclaimed rebates.  We get home, open up our new gadgets, and forget to send off the rebate before it expires.  Send it off immediately!

4)  Check your mail carefully. Many times rebates come in an envelope that looks a lot like junk mail.  I have almost thrown out some rebate checks.  Be careful.

5)  Put a reminder on your calendar. It’s easy to forget about the money that’s due to you.  If the rebate says to expect your money in 6-8 weeks, then be sure to mark it on your calendar around that time.  That way you’ll be sure to follow up if you haven’t received your rebate back in time.

Have you ever had any problems collecting money from rebates?

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Post from: Thrifty Mommy

His comment really got me to thinking.  Would someone really be a renter forever?  Here are some reasons why I don’t believe you should rent for life.

1)  You will always, always have a payment.  When you are 65 years old, you’ll still be paying rent.  This is a time in your life when your income will be limited and you won’t need extra payments.  Will you be able to afford your medication, rent, groceries, and utilities?

2)  The cost of rent will continue to increase.  Just as inflation goes up, so will cost of your rent.

3)  You get nothing for your money.  Figure it out.  If on average you pay $1200 per month for rent for 40 years, that’s $576,000.  Yes, I said $576,000!  And the $1200 per month I figured is a generously low estimate.

4)  There is no return on your money.  Not only do you get nothing but temporary housing, but your money is not being invested.  Think of all the older folks you know that paid $22,000 for their homes.  They’re paid off and their homes are now worth 10 times more than they paid for them.  If they get into a financial bind, they can always sell their homes.

5)  You’ll have something to leave your spouse and children.  When I was a teen, my friend’s dad died.  I was shocked to find out that her dad had made some very poor financial decisions, one of which was renting the same house for about 20 years.  This house was only worth about $50,000 at the time.  After he passed away, he left his wife with little to no insurance and his wife had to figure out how to make it on her own, which included the extra burden of rent.  Thankfully, she was able to get a low-income loan, but it was not easy for her.  That $50,000 house that he rented for so long could have been hers to keep if he had purchased it rather than renting.

The purchase of a home is not for everyone and I’m certainly against buying a home if you cannot afford it.  In the long time scheme of things, I believe that buying a home is the best option. 

What are your feelings on renting versus buying?

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Post from: Thrifty Mommy

A few years ago, I send out an email ranting to my friends about Americans being frivilous and spending more money than they made.  If I remember correctly, at that time, Americans were spending $1.50 for each dollar they made.  That meant that we were in debt; in big time debt.  Being in debt like that really bothered me.  We are so blessed in this country, yet we’re unbelievably materialistic and we feel entitled to having everything.  That ranting email is actually what landed me this job of writing for Thrifty Mommy.  Funny, huh?

Fast forward three years later and we’re in a recession.  People are struggling more than they have in years.  Yet one thing we’ve finally figured out how to do is save our money.  Americans are finally putting money into the bank and saving it.  We’re spending less, living within our means, and saving money for a rainy day.  To me, that’s good news!

What positives have you found to this recession?

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Post from: Thrifty Mommy

A study of Harvard graduates showed that those with with written goals achieve more than others.  Some words from Dave Ramsey:

Your budget is a written goal for your money.  People who win at anything have written goals.  Goals are what you are aiming at.  Your money won’t behave unless you tame it.  You need to have a budget for every month.  Spend every dollar on paper before the month begins. Give every dollar of your income a name before the month begins.  This is called zero-based budgeting.  Income-outgo=exactly zero.  Match up every income dollar until you have given it an outgo name (this includes savings).

We have learned the importance of saving for rainy days and having an emergency fund.  We are trying to live a debt free life, even with two house payments.  (Yes, it still hasn’t sold!)

How is your budget?

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Post from: Thrifty Mommy

Dave Ramsey

Post from: Thrifty Mommy

• If the store you find the best deals at is far from you, consolidate trips or choose wisely.  You might do without for a few days until you can justify the trip
• If you are out of only 1 or 2 items, it might be more frugal for you to get it locally if the price isn’t that big a difference.
• Make sure you know your prices and watch sales.  I know that I can get Huggies diapers for 23 cents per diaper at Sam’s with no coupons.  But sometimes, I have coupons and CVS might have them on sale, which would bring it down below 20 cents a diaper.  That is when I should stock up at CVS.
• Don’t assume buying in bulk is cheaper.  GET THAT CALCULATOR OUT!

The moral of the story is that you work way too hard for your money, Don’t just give it away.  Be smart.  Watch the sales and watch your wallet.

Post from: Thrifty Mommy

1. I can go to Sears and spend about $250 on a Singer machine that is an excellent machine. OR
2. I can spend $350 and get a Janome from my local sewing shop.

Careful … The choice isn’t so clear cut.  I would have no clue what to do if my machine acted funny or broke.  I used my girlfriend’s sewing machine and got a pin stuck.  She had to take it apart to get it out.  I have NO IDEA how I did that.   So if I buy the Singer and something goes wrong, I would have to send it off as I wouldn’t know what to do. And I would have to learn everything about the machine myself.

Or I can get the Janome and with it comes classes and a year of free maintenance and service if something happens.  See my dilemma?  I have a lot to learn about sewing machines as it has been years since I have sewn.  So do I spend the extra money and take the classes and not worry about if it needs help or do I save the $100 and take my chances if I break it?

Post from: Thrifty Mommy

I was listening to The Cooper Lawrence Show podcast from Thursday night and one of the listeners called in with a credit card problem.  The caller is having a tough time right now making ends meet.  The credit card company keeps charging her late fees, which have caused her to go over her credit card limit, so in turn they’re charging her fees for being over the limit.  She can’t get ahead because of all the fees they’re charging her.  She has tried to call the company to work something out, but they keep saying like, “If you’d only give us $200.”  She told them she doesn’t have an extra $200, but the company just doesn’t seem to want to help her. 

Many people have found themselves in similar situations.  Here are some tips to help you handle your credit card debt:

1)  Ask for a one time courtesy waiver.  If you have been a good customer in the past, then there is no reason why they shouldn’t waive fees.

2)  Pay as frequently as you can.  Paying $25 a week is much better than paying $100 each month.  If you pay $25 a week, then that amount will be paid to the principal sooner and avoid more interest.

3)  Don’t ignore your debt.  Your debt is your ethical responsibility.  If you are having troubles paying your debt, then you should call the credit card company to see if they can work something out.  Ignoring the debt will only make things worse. 

3)  Don’t just speak to the first person.  The first person you talk to has been trained to tell you “no”.  Ask to speak to their supervisor.

4)  Document everything.  This includes every call you make to the credit card company, the date, time, person’s name that you spoke with, and what you were told.

5)  Pay your credit card payments last. You should pay your most important bills first - your rent or house payment, electric, phone bill, and then your credit card.  Many times the loudest voice is the one from the credit card company.  They usually scream the loudest and use manipulation tactics to scare you into making your payments.  Your debt is your obligation, but when times get tough, they are the last ones to pay.  You need a place to live and electric, but you don’t have to have a credit card.

6)  Find a way to make some extra money.  If you feel like you can’t breathe and you can’t ever get ahead, then try some ways of making extra money.  Get a job delivering pizza a few nights a week, even if it’s only for a few months.  Start going through closests and sell the stuff you don’t need.  Try Craigslist, ebay, a local classified paper (that has free ads), or have a yard sale.  Put all of that money towards getting caught up or paying off your debt.  In the past few months, I have sold sheets, kid’s clothes, my old vacuum cleaner, toys, and some other things.  I’ve brought in several hundred dollars.  It’s like having a second job.

7)  Get a credit counselor.  Dave Ramsey’s site is a place to look for help.  I like Dave Ramsey’s tips because they are practical ways that are effective.

8)  Freeze your credit if you’ve been the victim of identity theft.  Credit bureaus don’t let you know that you can do this though, because they won’t make money off selling your information.  Some states will let you freeze your credit before you become a victim.  For more information, take a look at Financial Privacy Now.

9)  Find out what’s causing the debt.  Sometimes it is caused from unfortunate circumstances such as unemployment or divorce, but many times it is from behavior and choice.  Are you an impulse shopper?   Do you buy more clothes than you need?  Repair the holes in your budget.

10)  Be leary of companies that offer a quick fix solution.   True debt help is not easy.  You need to fix behaviors that may be causing the debt.  Debt consolidations, bankruptcy, and credit repair companies sometimes are no help if behaviors have not been changed.

11) I am offering this one as a bonus, since it may be hindsight.  Hopefully it will help someone though.  Before getting a card, avoid getting a one from a company with a bad reputation.  In a survey from Consumer Reports, Providian rank the lowest.  Following right behind at the bottom were Capital One, Bank of America’s MBNA division and JP Morgan Chase. (source)

Do you have any tips to offer?

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Post from: Thrifty Mommy