There was a totally interesting piece recently in the Charleston Daily Mail. The piece, Divorcing couples in hard times try to save money, discusses how hard economics may make for a less messy divorce due to both parties not wanting to waste money on fighting it out in court.

Because of the economy, raised home costs, retirement issues, and more, couples are seemingly willing to go the distance to keep things chill. For example, not go to court at all, not fight so much when they are in court, and maybe even live together as they divorce. It’s an interesting perk of this sad economy for sure and very much worth a read.

On the flip side, divorcing or splitting up at all is far less financially sound then staying together (except for in cases where, say one person is an addicted shopper or gambler). If you’re more interested in staying together for happiness and your budget’s sake, take a look at the following…

• Avoid breaking up over money issues
• Financially Compatible Spouses & Partners
• 10 Budget Tips for Couples

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A money saving book review today for you guys…

Book: Expecting Money: The Essential Financial Plan for New and Growing Families (Paperback) by Erica Sandberg

Cost: $12.44

Basics: This book is set up to help you budget for your family, no matter your financial or marital situation. Below is Sandberg’s website description of the book:

“No matter how much you earn, own, or owe, having children will dramatically alter your financial picture. Whether you’re thinking of expanding your family, are pregnant now, or have recently had a baby, Expecting Money: the Essential Financial Plan for New and Growing Families will help you prepare for the economic demands of parenthood. From setting a financial start line to developing a comprehensive new budget, you can build lasting security with the techniques outlined in this guidebook that is designed specifically for the most important time in anyone’s life – beginning a family.“

What I think…

Erica Sandberg is a nationally recognized credit and money management authority. She’s accumulated over a decade of experience working with folks and writing about both personal and business finances. It’s easy to tell, after reading this book, that Sandberg is indeed an expert. This book is highly comprehensive and perfect for all types of family situations. Perks I enjoyed included:

Logical time-line of information. For example, the book opens with a couple of chapters that help you understand both how financial issues work, which money matters should concern you personally, and how to figure out where you are now on the path to financial success. The book then moves on the pregnancy money issues, then baby money issues, child care, and so on.

Covers relationships + finances: The book not only covers partner money dynamics but also solutions for those not in relationships (single parents). Many budgeting family books I read leave out single parents, and being a single parent myself it’s awesome to see an entire chapter devoted to this financial experience.

Covers consumer issues: One thing I liked about this book was the coverage given to consumer choice. I’m big on consumer choice as a money saving issue, and this book dives into this with topics like marketing to parents and pressure to buy products when really it’s unnecessary.

Future financial goal coverage: The second to last chapter, “Making It Happen” covers all sorts of ways to manage your future finances. Big issues like life insurance and planning for emergencies are covered but so are some fun things like vacation savings.

Budget planning help: The last chapter is a total how-to on planning your family budget. From setting goals, to tracking expenses, to crunching numbers, this chapter can help just about anyone plan for a more successful budget.

OVERALL SCORE:

For the price (not expensive) I’d give this book 5 out of 5 stars. It’s positive and upbeat without being one of those lame, “BUILD WEALTH NOW!” sort of deals. This book isn’t preachy it just offers solid advice that’s digestible in small chunks. Lastly, it’s practical and contains plans that should be easy for even non-financial types to implement.

Check out Expecting Money: The Essential Financial Plan for New and Growing Families at Amazon or take a look and see if your local library carries it.

If you’re expecting you need to consider a lot of money issues, from health insurance, to how much diapers will cost, to maternity leave, and more. BUT there are two extra important money issues you need to consider either before your baby arrives or very soon after.

A WILL:

If you have a baby you need a will for sure. This is the ONE & ONLY way you can be sure that your child has the guardian of your choice. If something happened to you and your partner you want to be sure that the person of your choice raises your child and is allotted the assets of your choice. Most books covering will creation suggest choosing a first, second, and third choice for guardians. Also it’s best, even if you’re married, to make two wills, one each, rather than a collective will because if one of you dies, the other partner can’t then change the will.

MORE LIFE INSURANCE:

If you don’t have life insurance, you’ll need some now that you have a baby. If you already have life insurance, make sure you have enough. Many employee policies offer too little coverage. Term insurance is fairly simple to set up, doesn’t cost much, and basically covers income replacement for your family if you die. Most books note that you should try and purchase coverage that amounts to about 5 to 10 times the individuals yearly income.

Also, when it comes to life insurance don’t forget to cover a stay-at-home-parent. While this parent doesn’t work, they actually do highly contribute to the lifestyle your family is used to. For example, say you homeschool because you’re not down with school. If the SAHP dies, you’d likely want enough money to pay for a private free school or something other than public. Plus there is after school care to consider and all sorts of other issues.

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How’s that for a cheesy post title? Ah well. In any case, dating when you’re a parent tends to be budget minded - I mean groceries, rent, and diapers take priority over good lovin’  times right? BUT should they? The couple that stays together has an easier (and happier) time. It’s way easier to be in a two parent family with two potential income sources and more combined time, than it is to break up due to a lack of good feelings and hot dates. Plus, who wants to break-up with someone they love?

Think of dating and lovable actions as financial and happiness insurance. Following are some ways to ignite the fire on a budget…

Parking fun: Remember parking? Making out? Well, it was fun as a teen, and it’s still fun now. Grab a CD, find a secluded area and go to town on your partner. In fact, if you know you don’t have plans, and someone else has the kids, surprise your partner by just pulling over the car one evening.

Call in sick: If you both have sick days saved up, and the kiddos are in school, call in sick (cough, cough), and stay in. Hang out, make a great lunch, and just chill.

Write a love note: People are so much more lovable early on in relationships. Love notes are a common early relationship sign, but they can also steam things up later on. If writing is not your bag, draw a funny, sweet, or sexy picture. Stick said note/picture into your partner’s work bag, so they’ll find it mid-day at work.

Write a musical love note: Create a mix CD of all the songs that remind you of your partner. Put on some of those old tunes you first listened to when you were dating.

Bake up some love: A cake, pie, or cookies with special decor - i.e. heart candies, words in icing, and so on, is simple and inexpensive, but effective for a partner who loves sweets.

Kiss and mean it: Get rid of those kisses at the door that are simply out of habit. Make an effort to mean it.

Have a party in bed: TRUE STORY - my friend’s dad says to him at lunch one day, “So, son, do you know that me and your mother still like to have a party in bed each night!” OMG right? But wait… my friend says, “DAD - I don’t want to know!” and his dad says, “Oh, not that kind of party.. each night one of us brings a different snack to bed and we share; your mother likes to bring sliced fruit, but I mix it up by bringing things like nuts!”

My friend’s parents have been together 30+ years I believe. I love this story because it illustrates an important point. What keeps couples happy and in sync may not be typical; what really matters is finding your own groove. If it’s snacks and laughs in bed so be it. If it’s something else, that’s cool too, but do find something that allows you to connect with your partner (preferably daily) to keep the spark alive.

Also see:

• Three ways to save money on a babysitter
• Cheap Date Ideas - Northwest US
• Top 10 Thrifty Date Outings

Tell me some other inexpensive ways to keep the love alive in the comments. I KNOW you’ve got some ideas…

[image via stock.exchng]

We’ve looked at how to get little kids off on the right money foot, but teens can be a whole other situation. Not all teens are money-spending loons, but teens do seem to want a lot of stuff, so here’s some ideas about how to help them learn to manage their money…

Start younger than the teen years: Hopefully, you did talk to your kids about money from the get-go, because that sets your teen up for money know-how early. If you keep mum about money responsibilities, you can’t expect your teens to act responsible about money issues.

Make a saving budget for big items: Teens need some free spending money each week, but if they want to save for big purchases, it can help to see it visually. Help them to jot down how much they’d need to save per week or month in order to afford a bigger ticket item. Then they can know how much they have available to spend.

Deposit cash for your teens: If you put spending money directly into a savings account for your teen, rather than their pocket, they may be more likely to keep it in the bank.

Match funds like an employer would: When your teen grows up their job will likely match retirement funds if not, their savings or bonds will grow with time. Give them that sort of experience. If your teen agrees that saving some money each month is a good plan, match their savings up to a specific amount. This is great motivation to save for a big ticket want or even long-term goals.

Get them gear without making them dip into savings: Gift cards make great holiday gifts for teens because they get the gear they want and can save their cash.

Provide for basics: Some parents (mine included) feel like teens should pay for everything from clothing to cosmetics to shampoo. If you had kids, it’s your responsibility to buy them the basics they need. General clothing, shampoo, and  so on should be covered by you. Extras like fancy lip gloss or expensive boots are another story, but don’t make your teen provide for all their own stuff so early on - that makes the teen years pretty stressful.

Let them make mistakes and live with them: Everyone makes mistakes. If your teen continually runs out of cash mid-month, don’t always cover the extras they want. If they know they can always get more money (if they don’t budget) they won’t bother with budgeting. Don’t belittle their mistakes though - rudeness is lame. Discuss better options, but don’t rag on them this way they’ll come to you with questions.

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Many studies note that financial incompatibility is the number one reason that couple split up. That sucks, because if you know how to deal with money issues, and if you make it a priority in your relationship to discuss money issues, you can avoid this potential problem from the get-go. How can you and your partner happy together, even when money issues pop up?

First of all you should read, Financially Compatible Spouses & Partners - this post covers what you and your partner should discuss money-wise before taking the long-term relationship leap.

Next follow these tips:

Recognize that you and your partner are equals. No matter who makes more money the two of you should never place one person’s worth above the other. This is an especially important point for couples where one partner is a stay-at-home person/parent.

Know that money stresses everyone. If you have money, if you don’t, it doesn’t matter, money is a stressful topic. The main breadwinner can feel pressure to keep on earning, while a partner who makes less may feel bad about it. Talk about the money stresses in both of your lives.

Realize that change can happen. In some families one partner is perfectly happy to be the major breadwinner, but know that this can change. Just because someone has been happy in the past with their career or stay-at-home parent status doesn’t mean it can’t change.

Never let money issue simmer. The longer you wait to discuss money issues, the worse they can get. When money issues pop up, deal with them and move on.

Be positive. Money is a negative issue for many. Keeping it positive goes a long way towards an easier relationship. Example; my ex NEVER felt like we had enough money and fretted all the time about how the future would be better if we just had more, while I was happy if we could pay the bills and save a little. Guess who was more stressed out all the time about money? Yup, my ex. Think on the bright side when it comes to money issues.

Work together on compromise. If you can’t agree about specific money issues, work out a semi-reasonable compromise. There might be times you just can’t come to one main consensus, so don’t let those times break the relationship.

Be aggressive. If the two of you can’t be honest about money, can’t discuss money, and know you have major money related issues, get some help. Counseling is one way to go and financial assistance (i.e. an accountant) is another.

In my life I’ve met two sorts of parents - the type who teach their kids about money and budget from the get-go, and the type who act like the household budget is the devil in disguise; sure to corrupt a small child. I don’t agree with the latter.

I’ve heard all the excuses…

• “I don’t want my kids to worry about money issues - they should be having fun.”
• “There’s no way my kid will understand.”
• “The budget is an adult issue.”
• “It’s too personal to discuss with the kids.”

And so on and so on.

I’m more of the mindset that the family budget is just that; the FAMILY budget. If the family budget is for the goals and good of the family, then kids can and should be involved.

Why kids should be involved with the family budget:

Kids are smart. If you take the time to explain something to them, they will eventually get it. Saying a child won’t get the budget is not an acceptable reason to cut their knowledge stream off.

Kids do worry, but that’s life. Kids worry about all sorts of stuff. (Remember being a kid). While it might seem kinder to never have to say, “We just can’t afford it” that’s not reality, and it’s way better than kids assuming items bought and paid for pop out of thin air. I’m not for telling kids all the down and dirty of a super dire money situation, but I do think kids can handle some real life knowledge. I remember when I was a kid and it always seemed worse to not know what was stressing my mom out if I asked for something we couldn’t afford - a simple “We can’t get it right now because it’s not in the budget” would have made me feel better.

Kids grow up into older kids and adults who spend money. They can either grow up into people who spend money and who know how to budget because they grew up with a budget OR they can grow up into people who spend money and who have no budgeting concepts what-so-ever. Which group would you rather your child grow into?

The budget is not that big a deal - people really overreact about budgeting sometimes, making it into this huge secondary issue, outside the norm of real life. However, a budget is part of every life so incorporating budget know-how casually and regularly is much more normal, more educational, and more practical than making the budget this big old deal.

For some tips asap read: How to totally mess up your kids when it comes to money. Later we’ll look at more ways to involve the kids in the family budget.

What do you think? Do you actively involve your kids in the family budget? Why or why not?

[image via stock.xchng]

Some of you may have been a little busy checking out our new look and location, but if you’ll take a moment to look at my bio to the right you’ll see that something has changed.  I am now the mother of three, not two, children.

Don’t worry.  I didn’t go through a nine month pregnancy and childbirth without telling you.   ;)  My husband and I are adopting a 10 (soon to be 11) year old.

We met J while we were working at the group home last year. Sometimes in life you question God and wonder why He placed you in certain places in your life.  Sometimes you’ll never know why.  In this particular case, we know the reason.  It was to help out this sweet young man.

I won’t share pictures of J until it’s closer to being official.  And I must come up with a nickname for him!  It just wouldn’t be right to have Alligator girl and Cuddlebug on here, but no nickname for J.

We start our home study today, so I need to get back to work!  Have a great day everyone!

image is mine

I saw this story a few days ago and couldnt’ believe my eyes.  Now, I am all about good time management and multi tasking but I don’t think this mom was going about it in the right direction, no pun intended.

Genine Compton of Ohio was arrested at the beginning of the month for driving, breast feeding, and talking on the  phone.  Now, I am a proponent of all 3 but not at the same time.  There has to be another side of this story.  Anybody know it?  Because I am not getting it?!?!?!

So I can get an entire hour of work done with my kids if I give Turkey Butt the computer to play with and let Little Man watch the Wiggles. My BIL would croak!  Am I a bad parent or a smart parent getting things done?

Bad parenting or smart use of time?  Let us know what you think.