If you’re getting married this summer - or next even, you can save some cash by making some small adjustments to what goes on in traditional weddings.

Adjust your ring: You don’t really need both engagement rings AND wedding rings. That’s a little bit of overkill. You can also save money by greening your wedding ring, which cuts out things like pricey (and earth-hateful) diamonds and gold.

Adjust the invites: Go paperless which saves on stamps and paper costs - not to mention all those trees. Digital invites are so not lame anymore either. There are some totally amazing digital wedding invitations out there nowadays.

Adjust the cake: Have one small and beautiful cake that’s decorated and decked out in wedding bliss style. THEN have a plain old sheet cake tucked away in a back room at the reception. Cake decorating and extra layers cost more.

Adjust the clothes: You can opt out of totally formal wedding attire or go used or borrowed. Some vintage gowns can be had for a fraction of the cost of a newly made wedding gown, and you’ll have something more unique.

Adjust the setting: For a summer wedding, you may be in luck with clear skies. You can hold a wedding outdoors at a park or some nice friend’s big backyard. You can even (gasp) forget the chair rentals. People can stand if your ceremony is short, or sit on the grass. It’s casual but still special.

Adjust the food: At a reception you don’t need full meals like in the movies. Cake, drink, and some fun snacks and treats are good enough.

Adjust the photos: Among my group of friends I know about two really great picture takers, and one amazing photographer. If you have a camera and at least one or two pals who can shoot, don’t hire a pro. Wedding photo albums are overblown ideas anyhow - I mean, how often do people actually flip through them?

What other ways can you think of that will save money on a wedding?

[image via stock.xchng]

Many studies note that financial incompatibility is the number one reason that couple split up. That sucks, because if you know how to deal with money issues, and if you make it a priority in your relationship to discuss money issues, you can avoid this potential problem from the get-go. How can you and your partner happy together, even when money issues pop up?

First of all you should read, Financially Compatible Spouses & Partners - this post covers what you and your partner should discuss money-wise before taking the long-term relationship leap.

Next follow these tips:

Recognize that you and your partner are equals. No matter who makes more money the two of you should never place one person’s worth above the other. This is an especially important point for couples where one partner is a stay-at-home person/parent.

Know that money stresses everyone. If you have money, if you don’t, it doesn’t matter, money is a stressful topic. The main breadwinner can feel pressure to keep on earning, while a partner who makes less may feel bad about it. Talk about the money stresses in both of your lives.

Realize that change can happen. In some families one partner is perfectly happy to be the major breadwinner, but know that this can change. Just because someone has been happy in the past with their career or stay-at-home parent status doesn’t mean it can’t change.

Never let money issue simmer. The longer you wait to discuss money issues, the worse they can get. When money issues pop up, deal with them and move on.

Be positive. Money is a negative issue for many. Keeping it positive goes a long way towards an easier relationship. Example; my ex NEVER felt like we had enough money and fretted all the time about how the future would be better if we just had more, while I was happy if we could pay the bills and save a little. Guess who was more stressed out all the time about money? Yup, my ex. Think on the bright side when it comes to money issues.

Work together on compromise. If you can’t agree about specific money issues, work out a semi-reasonable compromise. There might be times you just can’t come to one main consensus, so don’t let those times break the relationship.

Be aggressive. If the two of you can’t be honest about money, can’t discuss money, and know you have major money related issues, get some help. Counseling is one way to go and financial assistance (i.e. an accountant) is another.

You don’t have to spend a lot of money on dates for them to be fun.  Fortunately, there are some entertainment options that don’t have to break your budget.

1)  Bowling - You don’t have to be a good bowler to go bowling.  Being silly and laughing at yourself are part of the fun.

2)  Parks -  It’s ok to swing on the swings and slide when there’s no kids around.  Plus, it’s dark and you don’t have to worry about looking foolish.

3)  Natural attractions - Just a few weeks ago our family visited my parents.  My husband and I always know we’ll get a date night there.  We went out to eat and then we drove to the water front.  We walked around the pier and then went to the park.  Yes, we climbed on the jungle gym since no one could see us. 

4)  Ice cream - Stopping for ice cream is usually inexpensive.  You can get your ice cream and go to the park to sit and talk.  Or just get your ice cream and sit inside the freezing cold building and talk for a while.

5)  Coffee - Provided you don’t go to “FourBucks”, it won’t cost too much.  Even if you do go to expensive coffee shops, the two of you can probably spend less than $10.  I just have to say . . . you can do some good people watching at coffee shops. Right Kelly? 

6)  Baseball - Going out for a night of baseball can be inexpensive.  Some areas have local teams.  You can usually get seats for less than $10. 

7)  Discount theater - If you’re lucky, your area has a theater for movies that have been out a little longer.  Sometimes you can get tickets for $2-3.  I like going to these because it’s less crowded and going to see a movie as soon as it’s released isn’t a big deal to me.

8)  School musicals - You can find some pretty good talent at school musicals for little cost.

9)  Free attractions - Pretty much every area has free attractions.  It could be a festival in the square, free museum day, a local farm.  The internet is great for finding free entertainment.  Google your city and free attractions.  If you still can’t find anything, then give your chamber of commerce a call. 

10)  Stay at home - Put the kids to bed and make the effort to have a special night together.  Sit on the patio and drink coffee, have dinner on a blanket in the backyard, watch the stars, eat cake, or watch a dvd.  Get creative. 

I know you have some ideas for inexpensive dates.  Please share them with us. 

 With the cold temperatures we’ve been having, I know it’s hard to imagine that spring and summer are just around the corner.  I’m sure some are thinking about or are already making plans for their special wedding day.  I thought this would be a good time to share some ways to save money.

 1.  Plan ahead.  I confess that I planned my wedding in just a few weeks.  (Yes, I was a nervous wreck.) Perhaps the short amount to plan helped me to prioritize really quickly.  Planning ahead gives you opportunities to think things through, to decide what you really want, and to shop around for the best deals.

 2.  Be selective about your guest list.  A wedding is an intimate occasion.  Do you have to share it with everyone?  In fear of hurting someone’s feelings, I invited just about anyone that wanted to come to my wedding.  If I had to do over again, I would be more selective about who I invited.  You shouldn’t invite people just to impress them or in hopes of getting a great gift. Having more people there means it will cost you more to feed them!

 3.  Set a budget and stick to it.  I confess that I forgot this one on the list and had to move it up to the top.  lol  Whether your budget is $1,000 or $10,000, you need to have a budget and you need to stick to it.  Write out your plans and how much you estimate each thing will cost.  Leave a little room for adjustments. 

4.  Try to do as much yourself as possible.  Read more

Who says romance has to cost a fortune?  Sarah Pierce from Hitched Magazine has ideas for 20 dates for under $20.  Here are some of my favorites:

• Beat the heat with an ice cream.  Take two scoops to the park, or take a walk downtown and go people watching.
• Hit the dollar movie theater. Lots of cities have discount movie theaters showing second-run features.   Pick a rainy day and have a movie marathon.
• Be a kid again.  Go play miniature golf, ride go-carts or play laser tag.
• Take a scenic drive.  Pull over to have coffee and dessert at a nice cafe.

Check out the other 16 date suggestions here.

What are your favorite low cost dates?

Cory and Kerri Aldrich have been with B5 Media for a while, but a few months ago they started a blog about marriage.  Cory and Kerri write about the good, the bad, and the funny.  Stop by Marriage Actually for some information about marriage, their personal experiences, confessions, and some laughter.  I’m sure you’ll find something that you can relate to.

I recently had a close friend tell me that she wasn’t sure if a bad situation had been resolved or not.  She thought it had on her end but the other person hasn’t called back like they said they would.  I have long since subscribed to the whole idea that it takes too much of my energy and time to stay mad at someone so I just get over it really quickly.  Probably a little too quick in some cases but oh well.

However, I have lived by this definition of forgiveness for years and I have never been failed by it.  So I hope it helps you parents out there save your time and energy for those rowdy kids that need you to be on your game instead of stressed over something else.

Forgiveness is accepting the consequences of someone else’s actions and never holding them accountable for them again.

It is undetermined if this article is real, but it certainly is funny. Thought you wives and moms could use a little something funny today.  It is supposed to be from a 1950’s home economics textbook intended for high school girls, teaching them how to prepare for married life.

Click the link below if you are having problems reading the small print.  Enjoy! 

Read more

Going to work, doing the checkbook, paying the bills, grocery shopping, taking the kids to soccer practice, church activities, cleaning the house . . . these are all things that keep us busy.  These activities that we fill our lives with can cause us to put our connection with our spouse on the back burner.

Well-known authors, Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott, have found that time (or the lack of it) is the number one issue in a lot of marriages.  Their book, Your Time-Starved Marriage, helps couples identify how they each relate to time and learn how to maximize their time together.

Many couples approach the problem of busyness thinking that it is just a season of life that they are passing through. This thought pattern isn’t helpful, the Parrotts said, because time will always be limited regardless of the stage of life they are in.

Because of this, couples should resist the mentality that they will wait to achieve their goals “when they retire” or “after the kids are grown.”

“Somebody said that some people spend their entire lives indefinitely preparing to live,” Les said, “and that is a trap that is easy to get caught into.”

Instead, couples should focus on capturing the time they have and making every moment of it count. The first step in this process is to identify their unique time styles.

Les and Leslie have found that there are 4 time styles.  Knowing your time style and your spouse’s can help you relate to each other better.

For more information on making every minute count, check out the article Tips for a Time-Starved Marriage.

The Parrotts also have a marriage assessment on their website.  I found out that I am a processor and a planner.  Click here to take the marriage assessment.