Know what’s what before hand: Before leaping into a relationship make sure you discuss money. I know it’s not romantic or always fun, but knowing your couple money mindset before you become a twosome can save you some trouble in the long run.

Split your stash: If you have your own cash supply it makes it easier there’s no consulting each other about purchases, there’s no balancing a checkbook together if one of you hates to do so. Make a general budget where you figure the bills each paying half, and if you don’t want to go that far, pay all the bills together as normal, then split the difference between your separate bank accounts.

Share tasks OR don’t: Some couple have one money savvy individual and one non-savvy person. It’s smart to leave the money savvy person in charge of tasks if that makes things easier. You have to be careful though. It’s a lot of work to always be the one writing the checks, balancing the checkbook, and dolling out allowances to the kids. Make sure the partner in charge is not feeling the brunt of all that work. This will depend on your own couple style. For example I’m perfectly happy to do all the money tasks in my household – I like it, and it makes me feel more comfortable, I could take the help or leave it. Some people hate this though.

Know what matters most: Hint – it’s not money. Money is cool and all but take a serious look at your partners pros before getting all nuts over cash differences. Does your partner gamble excessively? Hit you? Cheat on you? Rob banks? No? Ok then, money is a little thing in comparison to issues that should really make or break a partnership. Do you really want to break up over not being able to agree on a new couch? Be realistic. It’s expensive to break up and talking it out is cheap.

[image via stock.xchng]

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Adjust your ring: You don’t really need both engagement rings AND wedding rings. That’s a little bit of overkill. You can also save money by greening your wedding ring, which cuts out things like pricey (and earth-hateful) diamonds and gold.

Adjust the invites: Go paperless which saves on stamps and paper costs – not to mention all those trees. Digital invites are so not lame anymore either. There are some totally amazing digital wedding invitations out there nowadays.

Adjust the cake: Have one small and beautiful cake that’s decorated and decked out in wedding bliss style. THEN have a plain old sheet cake tucked away in a back room at the reception. Cake decorating and extra layers cost more.

Adjust the clothes: You can opt out of totally formal wedding attire or go used or borrowed. Some vintage gowns can be had for a fraction of the cost of a newly made wedding gown, and you’ll have something more unique.

Adjust the setting: For a summer wedding, you may be in luck with clear skies. You can hold a wedding outdoors at a park or some nice friend’s big backyard. You can even (gasp) forget the chair rentals. People can stand if your ceremony is short, or sit on the grass. It’s casual but still special.

Adjust the food: At a reception you don’t need full meals like in the movies. Cake, drink, and some fun snacks and treats are good enough.

Adjust the photos: Among my group of friends I know about two really great picture takers, and one amazing photographer. If you have a camera and at least one or two pals who can shoot, don’t hire a pro. Wedding photo albums are overblown ideas anyhow – I mean, how often do people actually flip through them?

What other ways can you think of that will save money on a wedding?

[image via stock.xchng]

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First of all you should read, Financially Compatible Spouses & Partners – this post covers what you and your partner should discuss money-wise before taking the long-term relationship leap.

Next follow these tips:

Recognize that you and your partner are equals. No matter who makes more money the two of you should never place one person’s worth above the other. This is an especially important point for couples where one partner is a stay-at-home person/parent.

Know that money stresses everyone. If you have money, if you don’t, it doesn’t matter, money is a stressful topic. The main breadwinner can feel pressure to keep on earning, while a partner who makes less may feel bad about it. Talk about the money stresses in both of your lives.

Realize that change can happen. In some families one partner is perfectly happy to be the major breadwinner, but know that this can change. Just because someone has been happy in the past with their career or stay-at-home parent status doesn’t mean it can’t change.

Never let money issue simmer. The longer you wait to discuss money issues, the worse they can get. When money issues pop up, deal with them and move on.

Be positive. Money is a negative issue for many. Keeping it positive goes a long way towards an easier relationship. Example; my ex NEVER felt like we had enough money and fretted all the time about how the future would be better if we just had more, while I was happy if we could pay the bills and save a little. Guess who was more stressed out all the time about money? Yup, my ex. Think on the bright side when it comes to money issues.

Work together on compromise. If you can’t agree about specific money issues, work out a semi-reasonable compromise. There might be times you just can’t come to one main consensus, so don’t let those times break the relationship.

Be aggressive. If the two of you can’t be honest about money, can’t discuss money, and know you have major money related issues, get some help. Counseling is one way to go and financial assistance (i.e. an accountant) is another.

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1)  Bowling - You don’t have to be a good bowler to go bowling.  Being silly and laughing at yourself are part of the fun.

2)  Parks -  It’s ok to swing on the swings and slide when there’s no kids around.  Plus, it’s dark and you don’t have to worry about looking foolish.

3)  Natural attractions - Just a few weeks ago our family visited my parents.  My husband and I always know we’ll get a date night there.  We went out to eat and then we drove to the water front.  We walked around the pier and then went to the park.  Yes, we climbed on the jungle gym since no one could see us. 

4)  Ice cream – Stopping for ice cream is usually inexpensive.  You can get your ice cream and go to the park to sit and talk.  Or just get your ice cream and sit inside the freezing cold building and talk for a while.

5)  Coffee – Provided you don’t go to “FourBucks”, it won’t cost too much.  Even if you do go to expensive coffee shops, the two of you can probably spend less than $10.  I just have to say . . . you can do some good people watching at coffee shops. Right Kelly? 

6)  Baseball – Going out for a night of baseball can be inexpensive.  Some areas have local teams.  You can usually get seats for less than $10. 

7)  Discount theater – If you’re lucky, your area has a theater for movies that have been out a little longer.  Sometimes you can get tickets for $2-3.  I like going to these because it’s less crowded and going to see a movie as soon as it’s released isn’t a big deal to me.

8)  School musicals – You can find some pretty good talent at school musicals for little cost.

9)  Free attractions – Pretty much every area has free attractions.  It could be a festival in the square, free museum day, a local farm.  The internet is great for finding free entertainment.  Google your city and free attractions.  If you still can’t find anything, then give your chamber of commerce a call. 

10)  Stay at home – Put the kids to bed and make the effort to have a special night together.  Sit on the patio and drink coffee, have dinner on a blanket in the backyard, watch the stars, eat cake, or watch a dvd.  Get creative. 

I know you have some ideas for inexpensive dates.  Please share them with us. 

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 With the cold temperatures we’ve been having, I know it’s hard to imagine that spring and summer are just around the corner.  I’m sure some are thinking about or are already making plans for their special wedding day.  I thought this would be a good time to share some ways to save money.

 1.  Plan ahead.  I confess that I planned my wedding in just a few weeks.  (Yes, I was a nervous wreck.) Perhaps the short amount to plan helped me to prioritize really quickly.  Planning ahead gives you opportunities to think things through, to decide what you really want, and to shop around for the best deals.

 2.  Be selective about your guest list.  A wedding is an intimate occasion.  Do you have to share it with everyone?  In fear of hurting someone’s feelings, I invited just about anyone that wanted to come to my wedding.  If I had to do over again, I would be more selective about who I invited.  You shouldn’t invite people just to impress them or in hopes of getting a great gift. Having more people there means it will cost you more to feed them!

 3.  Set a budget and stick to it.  I confess that I forgot this one on the list and had to move it up to the top.  lol  Whether your budget is $1,000 or $10,000, you need to have a budget and you need to stick to it.  Write out your plans and how much you estimate each thing will cost.  Leave a little room for adjustments. 

4.  Try to do as much yourself as possible.  My husband and I planned our own wedding.  I was in college at the time.  Every day he would pick me up after classes and we would drive around to flower shops, stores, etc. 

 5.  Seek the talents of others.  For my wedding, I had a friend from church greet the guests that arrived.  My former piano teacher played the organ as a gift to me.  A lady from my church sang.  Another lady from my church made me a beautiful wedding cake for only $40 and a friend of my parents altered my dress as a gift to me.  These were all people that I knew had talents and wouldn’t mind sharing them in my special day.

 6.  Try making things yourself.  As I said earlier, I didn’t have much time to plan my wedding.  If I were doing this today, I would make my own floral arrangements, make my own veil, and do whatever else I could myself. 

We didn’t spend a lot of money on dresses.  I didn’t feel right asking my attendants to shell out a bunch of money for dresses.  As their gift, I bought each of them the material needed to make their dress and the pattern.  A few of them knew how to sew and they made their own dress.  One other paid someone to make hers, which was much cheaper than buying a dress.

 7.  Borrow whatever you can.  I borrowed my aunt’s wedding dress and pearls.  I only had to pay $150 to have the dress preserved again.  I also borrowed a silver cake serving set, silver serving trays, and a centerpiece for the serving table. 

 8.  Look around for used wedding supplies and/or dresses.  You can find some beautiful used dresses for a fraction of the price.  You can also rent some of the things you’ll need.

 9.  Check to see what the facilities offer.  We had my wedding and reception at my church.  Our church had wedding supplies and we were able to use their glass dishes, tables, table linens, altar, and more.  Some reception halls also have things that you can borrow.  You don’t know what they have until you ask.

10.  Be careful of hidden costs.  These could be manicures, pedicures, hair, make-up, and other things.  I paid someone to do my nails, hair, and make-up.  If I had to do over again, I wouldn’t have those things done.  My nails were horrible and my make-up was not me.  You know how you like your hair and make-up.  Do it yourself.

11.  Plan your wedding around meals.  If you plan your wedding during lunch or dinner, then you know your guests are going to be really hungry.  Instead, plan a 2:00 wedding and serve finger foods.

12.  Delegate as much as possible.  I was fortunate that I had grown up in my church and knew everyone really well.  My parents had done many favors for the people and they didn’t mind returning the favor.  We bought the food supplies and enlisted the help of others to help prepare it.  When it was time to clean up, there were people helping without having to ask them.  I guess this is a good lesson in reaping what you sow.  Ask for help and help others when they ask.

13.  Search for after holiday sales.  My cousin is having a Sweet 16 party next week.  The after Christmas sales have provided us a great opportunity to buy things on clearance for her party.  It seems each time I go to the store, I end up calling my aunt to see if she wants this and that for the party.  I have found great deals on fabric, hurricane lamps, chargers, candles, centerpieces, food, and more.  You can find lots of great (non-Christmas looking) decorations for 50-75% off.  Also, check after Valentine’s Day for things for your wedding.

14.  If possible, trade services.  When I was in my friend’s wedding, her mom bought my dress in exchange for my mom making the cake.  It worked out great for both of us. 

15.  Most expensive doesn’t mean the best.  As I stated earlier, I was disappointed with my nails and make-up.  I was also disappointed with our portraits . . . EXTREMELY disappointed!!!!!  Snapshots that others took at our wedding were better than the formal shots we paid someone to take.  You may consider hiring an amateur photographer and/or asking some friends to take some pictures. 

16.  Find someone you know to cater.  If you’re having finger foods, then this shouldn’t be anything hard for the person to do.  It’s basically just preparing some easy foods and putting foods out as they start to run out.  You or someone you know could make the mints ahead of time. You could make your sausage balls ahead of time and freeze them and then cook them the day of the event.  There are many things you can do yourself that doesn’t cost a lot.

17.  Utilize craft store coupons.  Each week when you get the Michaels, A.C. Moore, or Hobby Lobby coupons, use them to get things that you need for your wedding.  Some stores will even let you use competitor’s coupons.

18.  For your reception, consider having a barbeque or get together at your home.  Even celebrities with money have done this one.  Your reception should be about having a good time and spending time with others, not about impressing people.

19.  Use the internet.  When I was planning my wedding, there wasn’t such much use of the internet as there is today.  You can use the internet to comparison shop and find a great deal on a dress.  You can also find party favors, decorations, invitations, and more. 

20.  Let the professionals help you.  Check out websites such as Martha Stewart, Better Homes & Gardens, About.com, Do-It-Yourself Network, Bridal Choice, and more!  There are many great, free resources at your fingertips.  These can provide information on making your own bridal bouquet, making party favors, decorating, easy foods, and so much more. 

I’m sorry if some of you found these tips to be tacky.  Hopefully, there is something in this list that you can find helpful.

Do you have some suggestions for ways to save money on a wedding?  Please share them in the comments.  I look forward to reading your suggestions.

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• Beat the heat with an ice cream.  Take two scoops to the park, or take a walk downtown and go people watching.
• Hit the dollar movie theater. Lots of cities have discount movie theaters showing second-run features.   Pick a rainy day and have a movie marathon.
• Be a kid again.  Go play miniature golf, ride go-carts or play laser tag.
• Take a scenic drive.  Pull over to have coffee and dessert at a nice cafe.

Check out the other 16 date suggestions here.

What are your favorite low cost dates?

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However, I have lived by this definition of forgiveness for years and I have never been failed by it.  So I hope it helps you parents out there save your time and energy for those rowdy kids that need you to be on your game instead of stressed over something else.

Forgiveness is accepting the consequences of someone else’s actions and never holding them accountable for them again.

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Click the link below if you are having problems reading the small print.  Enjoy! 

1. Have dinner ready: Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal — on time. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him, and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospects of a good meal are part of the warm welcome needed.

2. Prepare yourself: Take 15 minutes to rest so you will be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your makeup, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting. His boring day may need a lift.

3. Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives, gathering up school books, toys, paper, etc. Then run a dust cloth over the tables. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift, too.

4. Prepare the children: Take a few minutes to wash the children’s hands and faces if they are small, comb their hair, and if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part.

5. Minimize the noise: At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of washer, dryer, dishwasher or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet. Be happy to see him. Greet him with a warm smile and be glad to see him.

6. Some Don’ts: Don’t greet him with problems or complaints. Don’t complain if he’s late for dinner. Count this as minor compared with what he might have gone through that day.

7. Make him comfortable: Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or suggest he lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soft, soothing and pleasant voice. Allow him to relax and unwind.

8. Listen to him: You may have a dozen things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first.

9. Make the evening his: Never complain if he does not take you out to dinner or to other places of entertainment; instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure, his need to be home and relax.

10. The goal: Try to make your home a place of peace and order where your husband can relax.

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Well-known authors, Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott, have found that time (or the lack of it) is the number one issue in a lot of marriages.  Their book, Your Time-Starved Marriage, helps couples identify how they each relate to time and learn how to maximize their time together.

Many couples approach the problem of busyness thinking that it is just a season of life that they are passing through. This thought pattern isn’t helpful, the Parrotts said, because time will always be limited regardless of the stage of life they are in.

Because of this, couples should resist the mentality that they will wait to achieve their goals “when they retire” or “after the kids are grown.”

“Somebody said that some people spend their entire lives indefinitely preparing to live,” Les said, “and that is a trap that is easy to get caught into.”

Instead, couples should focus on capturing the time they have and making every moment of it count. The first step in this process is to identify their unique time styles.

Les and Leslie have found that there are 4 time styles.  Knowing your time style and your spouse’s can help you relate to each other better.

For more information on making every minute count, check out the article Tips for a Time-Starved Marriage.

The Parrotts also have a marriage assessment on their website.  I found out that I am a processor and a planner.  Click here to take the marriage assessment.

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