4 Stages of Loving Following Grief
January 14, 2009 by Anna Farmery
Filed under Comfort Yourself
Grief can make you think differently about love.
I know that I have at various stages thought that I never want to love again, I miss being with the person I love, I hate love, I want to love but don’t think that I ever will again.
I have come to the conclusion that there are 4 stages
- Letting go of believing that your loved one will somehow come back into your life
- Learning to love yourself again
- Allowing yourself to feel again and accepting that love is a natural emotion and that it is OK to love again
- Being open to love again and finding that new love
I know that I have and still struggle between 2 and 3. However, I know that if I give myself time then I will carry on moving through the stages of grief, what about you?
Anna, I have been gone and just caught up on your blog for the last week and wanted to thank you again for being so honest and helping us on this journey. My life is a whirlwind, sold my house in four hours on a Monday and purchased one two days later four hours away then left for a Christian Weekend Retreat, that was the best decision I have made since this journey began. To share faith/hope/love/sadness with 24 amazing women for three days, it has given me strength to continue moving forward and has aided me greatly in achieving your #2 above, I do love myself…wish there was less of me to love right now but as I am is what I am at the moment, to open myself to other love, well I am ready but not for romantic love but am finally ready to accept the help of others without attaching guilt and obligation of reciprocal action, do you know what I mean. I am feeling like I am in a very good place and that all of this happening so quickly has meant that it was the right thing and Dave is guiding me. I will soon be living near family and be starting upon a totally new life, big city full of strangers, which would have frightened me a few months ago and now just seems like the newest challenge. I continue to look forward to your guiding words and want to thank you for aiding me in times of total grief, they still come but less frequently.
Deb
Deb
You are too kind to me, sometimes I think I write too much from the heart but then I think hey too many people don’t write from the heart.
I am soooooo pleased for you, you sound as you are making progress…yes no doubt still hard but doesn’t it feel great when you start to take control of your life again?
People like you give me such hope for all widows and widowers out there…hope that if we have the courage to take those first steps, then our life will start to take shape again
Deb….consider yourself another mascot of widows quest!!