5 Thoughts from a bedside
November 19, 2009 by Anna Farmery
Filed under Grief
- If losing someone is this painful why do humans love at all?
- Isn’t it strange how you can lose the power of your senses but still feel and show love?
- True love is not that romantic love at all, true love is an unwavering, unconditional state of the heart which loves from the soul not the eyes.
- When a human is stripped bare, when there is nothing around…what is the one possession which matters? A heart that has loved and is loved.
- Life is what we make it, maybe death is what we make it too?
When you love someone, it is not just about loving them whilst you are together, it is also about loving them enough to let them go. I have sat now 11 hrs short of a week at this bedside..even sleeping here….and what I have learned is that love is not about holding on in grief, love is about letting go in grief.
I have said to Nana so many times when she has been at the brink, don’t be scared….don’t be frightened…it will be OK, however we don’t say that to ourselves do we?
Love is about 2 people and you are one of them…whilst grieving we should maybe talk to ourselves and say don’t be scared, don’t be frightened…because just in the same way, love will guide us to a better place.
Anna I am feeling such love from you to your Nana and totally understand the love that is needed in grief to say goodbye and let them go, when Dave was suffering I begged God to take him and told him that I would be fine and to quit fighting, it takes strength and love to do that. I am so impressed with your words at this sad time, know I am thinking of you and wishing all the wonderful memories to sustain you in the days ahead.
Deb
Deb – I am glad that in the sadness you sense the love because my tears over the last few days are yes about sadness at impending loss but also about happiness at having been lucky enough to feel unconditional love from such a tenacious, independent, strong lady. I love her to bits…she may be 99 and I should recognise it is her time, I still imagine life without those eyes…and go numb. But in the posts I hope that you can see that I have gained so much from her life and that gain will always outweigh our impending loss. Love to you Deb…xx