A FRESH Start
October 23, 2007 by Anna Farmery
Filed under Positive Changes
The phrase almost makes me shiver, I have heard many people say “It is a new dawn, it is the start of the rest of your life, it is a new era” I know they mean well and infact they are absolutely RIGHT 
But somehow they feel odd phrases – maybe because I don’t want a new era, I want my old one back.
But I was scribbling down how I would like to think of fresh….
Forget not hurting, that won’t happen…but learn to cope with the pain.
Remember you still have your life to live, you still have more memories to make 
Expect a great life, one filled with happiness – because the more you expect the more you will make it happen!
Save regrets for others…no point in worrying about things that you cannot change.
Have a dream……dreams are something to aim for, give us hope and gives us a reason to get through this grief.
above phrases are absolutely right I’m a human & being a man I have feelings, emotions & the phareses have been given above touched my soul & heart.
I know this blog says Widows Quest, but I hope that it reaches out to all people young and old, male and female because I agree….we all suffer the pain of bereavement – so glad that it helped you. Keep strong!
and remember Phil 4:13.. .I can do everything through Him who gives me strength.. I know it helps me.
hugs
gp in montana
I agree there are so many days I wake up and want nothing more then to turn back the time and make all the pain and suffering go away. This month has been very hard on me, the 15th was our anniversary and the 22nd my birthday, we never spent those days apart and it hit me harder then I thought it was going to. November 17th will mark the one year anniversary of his death and I just do not know how I will handle it. I try to be strong for those around me, I don’t like for people to see me break down because I want to be strong for him, like I know he would be. I am trying to figure out how someone my age is supposed to get past a tragedy like this. Losing my first and who I believe to be my soul mate and my fiancé. How do you get past that loss, when does the pain go away? I have gotten very good at hiding my pain (I think at least) but its still there. I try t stay positive and I will surround myself with friends and family when I am sad but this month has been exceptionally hard to keep positive.
One way I deal with anniversaries is to hold a meal for family and friends to celebrate his life….I try and treat it as a celebration of his life.
To move on you have to let go…I know how hard it is but his passing away will not change, you cannot bring him back. That is a chapter of your life that has closed. You can carry the memories but you must leave that “life”…..set yourself 3 mini goals for the next 12 mths, start asking friends out to cinema, meals, start socialising and meeting others.
Sounds harsh – not meant to be at all! – but you really have your life to live. You have new loves to meet, new experiences, you are still young enough to have a wonderful life….Trust me there is another person that will make your heart skip again…once you allow yourself to be happy.
Start today by doing one thing…smiling. Smile at people in the street, smile at yourself in the mirror, smile and see how much better you feel
I do like the idea of having a meal with friends on that day. The first thing what I want to do is be by myself and I know that is not the best idea. I have gone out with friends and gone to parties, and allow myself to have fun. But there are some times that I feel guilty when I get home. I am starting to let myself have fun with no guilt attached but I know it will take time for it all the guilt to go away.