“Adjusting” to Grief

I was commenting on yesterday’s post Holding Grief Can Be Warm, and I was thinking how coming to terms with grief is just like getting used to a new car……mad? Let me explain, for any widowers or widows out there…When you get a new car, you never seem to be able to get the seat in the right position – too high, too far, too near, too tilted, not tilted enough, too low……then one day you get in the car, suddenly you feel right and funnily enough you don’t even notice at first. Then just when you think that the seat is right, someone else drives it and guess what…that seat is back feeling uncomfortable again…It takes time to get the right position again, each time this happens it is easier to find the right position sooner.

Grief is like that…..during those first few months we are constantly adjusting our minds and our lives. Just when

 we think that we have come to terms with our feelings, then we are thrown again. Just like that car seat, we need to find again that position in our lives that we can enjoy. So the next time we feel daft, or not coping then maybe we should step back and think of that car seat…….if we keep on adjusting then we will find that right position.

Grief is not about being mended, or being better…it is about being able to adjust….