Are We Brave In Our Grief?
November 19, 2008 by Anna Farmery
Filed under Loneliness, Guilt & Depression
Someone was talking today and saying how brave I was, I know that the lady meant it as a compliment and I thanked her for that….however, I then started to think about being brave?Isn’t brave when you know the risk and still find the courage to do it? When you suffer a bereavement you don’t choose that, in fact courage is in quite short supply in my experience at
the point of losing the person you love.I came to the conclusion that widows and widowers need to dig deep and find the courage to face the world, to not give in to that feeling of isolation, to that feeling of nothing to live for……I think from now on I will call people courageous, and leave the brave to the soldiers that fight for our freedoms. What do you think? Do you feel brave?
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Yes, I do feel brave. I could quit, go to some congregate living, give up the kitties, stop trying to make ends meet and wait to die. But I keep going, keep trying, and learning all kinds of new things I never wanted to know. Then I feed the cats, go to bed and know that tomorrow I will do it all again.
Anna – I agree with you – bravery involves a choice of action, rather than something that is foisted upon you. Maybe she really meant that you are strong. I have been told that many times, and I assure those folks that, no, I am NOT strong. It’s just this public face that I have to assume, in order to get through the days. But we both know that she meant to commend you for your attititude, and you were so right in thanking her. I hope you are “hanging in there” and that your medical challenges have been resolved? (Don’t want to pry, but I do worry about you!)
Thanks Jessica…and no not fully resolved. I am having a MRI scan next week, they think it is a problem with my bile ducts which may need an operation….so fingers crossed.
Its funny we may not see ourselves as strong, but then the fact that we are coping we are in a way….maybe we need those people to point that out to us?
Hey B A Dragon – you know one day, it will seem easier and you will go to bed having enjoyed life again…..that is what I will always believe as the alternative will just make me miserable