I always associate my husband with 9-11. We watched the whole 9-11 thing together on television that awful morning in September. It affected him quite deeply. He and I were so moved by the stories we heard and we talked about all of the people who had lost a loved one. I never dreamt six months later I would join the ranks of grieving widows. When I found some support groups online, I met several 9-11 widows. Even though they achieved almost a “celebrity status,” which believe me was the last thing they wanted, they grieved the same as I. Their pain was no different. I have met, in my life, few women of such grace and poise as they confronted their tragedy in the eye of the public. There is a beautiful memorial Web site at... [Read more]

“Everyone who has lost a loved one has a story. And they know it down to the finest detail. Just like you know yours. Do you realize the importance of your story?”Adelle Tilton Your story. It is the single most important thing you have as you begin the grieving process. It is the event that caused your life to suddenly come to a halt and head off into a different direction. It is an event you had no control over and now it lives in you and dictates every step of the journey you are on. Anyone who has lost their husband, or another loved one, has a story. And they know it down to the finest detail. Just like you know yours. Do you realize the importance of your story? When you lost your husband, you most likely found yourself telling... [Read more]

A thousand years in thy sight are but as yesterday when it is past, and as a watch in the night.Psalm 90:4 There always seems to be time, doesn’t it?  Time to take more photographs, time to go on more picnics, time to go dancing, time to do any number of things that are precious to us.  Now time is marching on and we are powerless to stop it.  The calendar marks the days, the weeks, months; and we feel it as a painful gash in our souls.  Time after the loss of someone we love is much like marking the days after the birth of a baby.  We count the days, and then there is some unmarked day in our instinctive memory that moves to marking weeks, and then to months.  It doesn’t seem that we can measure... [Read more]

Depending on where you are in your grief journey, a new routine for your life is a necessity. If you are in the first few weeks or months since your husband died, you are most likely feeling at loose ends. There used to be a routine that was comfortable, easy and defined your life. Now that is gone and suddenly it is hard to know whether to go to work, do the dishes, do the laundry, play with kids who don’t fully grasp the situation; the list goes on and on. And it just is a looming mountain in front of you. It is time to go into Survival Mode. When my husband died, it was shortly before school was out for the summer. I had some time off work trying to just cope with the suddenness of my loss and trying to reconcile my life that was... [Read more]

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