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Anna Farmery
Anna is a popular speaker on areas such as social media, personal and employer branding, and leadership. She is an energetic speaker, recently described as "a ball of energy and crammed packed full... more
As I read this article on The Power of Love, I feel I can truly relate to what you are feeling. Yes, love between two people will be there forever. I believe it is the comfort that you will feel knowing how much love was between the both of you. I felt this way when my husband passed away. This is a sad time, but the memories of the love she had for you will always remain in your heart and the comfort you will feel everytime you think of her and the memories which you will cherish forever. I may feel alone at times, but if I am in a crowd of people like in a wedding and I see couples dancing to a song we enjoyed dancing to I can easily go back to those cherish memories and feel lucky to have had him as my husband. Just like I know you will feel fortunate to have had been loved by her. May you find comfort in this difficult time, being by your mum’s bedside.
I have felt so lost not having a computer…sounds strange but I realised that the friendships I have here are in many ways as important as my “real world” friends…my friend brought me over her laptop so that I can come on line and just read your comments….It is wonderful and so comforting…I can only thank you all for the wonderful heartfelt words…they are precious to me, almost as this little lady next to me xxx
Mary and Karen…my friend brought in a computer so that I could see your comments…it means the world, thank you. It is hard as she is so special and it brings back so many painful memories…but I will not leave her side…I even sleep on the floor by her side…thank you for being there for me
Anna
I have felt so lost not having a computer…sounds strange but I realised that the friendships I have here are in many ways as important as my “real world” friends…my friend brought me over her laptop so that I can come on line and just read your comments….It is wonderful and so comforting…I can only thank you all for the wonderful heartfelt words…they are precious to me, almost as this little lady next to me xxx The hrs may be painful as it brings back memories but I want to be here…I even sleep on the floor next to her…I may not be able to give her life, but I can give her love…xx
WOW, What a great list. Thank you so much for taking the time to read these articles and find the diamonds in the ruff to share with your readers, all of us.
Anna I am feeling such love from you to your Nana and totally understand the love that is needed in grief to say goodbye and let them go, when Dave was suffering I begged God to take him and told him that I would be fine and to quit fighting, it takes strength and love to do that. I am so impressed with your words at this sad time, know I am thinking of you and wishing all the wonderful memories to sustain you in the days ahead.
Deb
Dear Anna,
Your writing today is so touching. I remember sitting by my mother’s bed as she faded away just as you are with your Nana. I think I know exactly how you are feeling. My thoughts and prayers are with you and yours. The one thing we must learn from times like these is that time is such a precious thing. As you say, we should not waste one second. My heart goes out to you.
Oh Leslie it is 1.15am and sat here…typing away as she sleeps (not sure that is the right word) It is hard you are right but in so many ways wonderful…the squeeze of the hand when you least expect it, the eyes looking at you once a day full of love, the peace on her face when she is resting….and the chance to do one last thing which is be with her as she goes, surrounding her with love and reducing her fear. Despite the lack of sleep, the addled brain, the mounting work waiting for me…this in many ways is the best days of my life with her. Mum is here too but I send her to a room at the hospital each night – she is almost 80 and conscious she needs to look after herself! – precious, precious times. Thank you about your comment re the writing…I wonder whether I share too much and bring back painful memories to one and all…but I hope that the writing is also full of hope and affirmations of life?
Deb – I am glad that in the sadness you sense the love because my tears over the last few days are yes about sadness at impending loss but also about happiness at having been lucky enough to feel unconditional love from such a tenacious, independent, strong lady. I love her to bits…she may be 99 and I should recognise it is her time, I still imagine life without those eyes…and go numb. But in the posts I hope that you can see that I have gained so much from her life and that gain will always outweigh our impending loss. Love to you Deb…xx
Anna, I can’t help but thing that your Nana would be so proud of you, keeping your mind going and attempting to keep in touch with all of us as you are staying by her side until the end. All relationships are special and leave us with many gifts, this relationship helped you become who you are and the strength of it will continue I am sure. I am thinking of you and praying that you remain strong through the difficult days ahead. I am so touched that you are sharing all of this with us, Thank You!
Deb
Anna, it is truly touching that you are sharing your feelings with us as Deb said. But that’s what good friends do, they share the bad as well as the good. This makes me feel very privileged because I feel that you think of us as your good friends. I also think of you that way. We will be here whenever you need us just as you have been there for us with your words of wisdom and this very special blog that has kept me going on many a bad day. Again, just know that we are all here praying for you and yours.
I want you to know that even in this sorrowful time for you your words are giving me comfort. I have been having a few bad days lately and have been going over these same 10 questions in my mind about Rick. Somehow seeing them written down has given me strength to go on.
I hope that makes sense.
I wish you comfort and peace tonight in the knowledge that your friends are with you. Try to get some rest tonight and stay strong.
Love to you and yours,
Leslie
Anna, I am so sorry that you have to go through this with your nana. Everyone I lost in the past made me wonder how the good ones could be taken so soon and did they know how much they were loved?
Today I try to remember that my husband’s special qualities are the same ones that make me keep going on – his bravery, his gratitude for all that he had, his love for everyone he cared for , his humor and his unvanquished faith in all that he believed in.
I know you have the same. Hugs and prayers, Cindy
What wonderful words but then I am not surprised as you all are so giving, and true friends. I have wondered whether my words would help…ie is it too morbid or bringing back too many bad memories? I am trying to write in a positive way to help that but also trying to show how far we have all come from when we lost our loved ones….
I am so exhausted and mum who is here with me doesn’t look well with all the worry etc….so your kind words are wonderful tonics to help me through sitting at night when my body feels weary. Your hugs and prayers keep me warm and I have even read some out to Nana….thanks for being a wonderful community but more than that thank you all for just being there…..xxxxx
Anna, I think these are questions we all ask ourselves when someone close to you dies. I often ask myself those questions about husband, Tony. Sometimes it helps me to rationalize and I may get somehow an answer. Then a few days or weeks later, I find myself asking myself the same question. Maybe answering it a different way. But as times goes on I find that I am working it out. Reading the articles here, finding something in common with those who have lost their loved ones really helps. I have to say, by you taking this time to write your feelings about your nana, while being right there must be difficult. Thank you for sharing, it does bring back memories when I was there for my husband a year ago. I didn’t know what I was feeling, and when later I read that a person sometimes feels numb, I thought I could relate to that. Then I also felt the energy that you mentioned. I was then able to all the necessary arrangements. The pain was felt after everyone left, and I was there to face the reality of all. But I have to say one thing I am so happy that I was there for him until the very last breath of his life, I knew he needed me and I needed to be there as well. My prayers go out to you and your Nana.
Vilma – thank you for writing as I am nervous that seeing Nana take her last breath will bring back painful memories….these few days have been hard enough. Yet just you writing about your happiness at being there, made me fear less. I can’t give life but I can give love, I can’t give hope but I can give dignity…thank you
Anna, you can lean on me anytime you want. Heaven knows how many times I have leaned on you and your writings here at Widows Quest. Take care. My thoughts are with you and your Mum every day.
Love, Leslie
Oh Anna do not ever feel apologetic about what you write here, all these thoughts have a place and you are the brave soul that gives words to so many feelings others have shared. My dad had five open heart surgeries in 19 years before dying of a staff infection, I was so used to his being at death’s door, so to speak, and turning away that it was a total shock to be in this world without him. Due to that experience I kind of know what you are writing about. I think you are never totally prepared but you will have your mum to look after and so many wonderful memories of your nana, even these last eleven days she has shared so much with you. I know it will not be easy but you will go through it with the grace and strength that is so much a part of you. I will be thinking of you and your mum….
Hugs, Deb
Dear Anna, I am so sorry for your loss. You were indeed lucky to have your Nana. It sounds like she was a wonderful woman and I’m sure she was so proud of you. The love you two shared is evident in every one of your entries about her. Please take comfort in knowing that you have so many friends on Widows Quest who are thinking of you and praying for your family. I wish I could give you a great big hug. Please pass on my sympathy to your Mum as well. I hope she is doing well. Take the next few days to celebrate your Nan’s life and try to get some rest. She would want you to do that. Again, my thoughts are with you tonight.
Love,
Leslie
Oh Anna, my thoughts are with you and your mum, I know there is little we can do but express our sympathy, wish there was more. I know you have many many good memories of your Nana and they will aid you so much in the days/years ahead. Death never gets easier it seems, today is Thanksgiving here and days like that the void seems a bit bigger but I will survive and ready your post helped, again! Thank You and take care!
Hugs, Deb
Oh ladies honestly I cannot thank you enough for your support….you are right death is never easy however when you have people around you who TRULY understand the grief it helps enormously….I may be numb, I may feel empty but with all your words I don’t feel alone and that makes the world of difference. I will be forever grateful…xx
Anna, I am so sorry for your loss, I know you will miss her. It seems you had a special relationship. Yes, you will feel numb and exhausted. But what will help you go on, will be the love you both shared for one another and the cherished memories. You have a lot to be thankful for on this Thanksgiving for this very special person that was a part of your life. Sincerely, Vilma
My husband passed away on November 8th after battling cancer for the last year. As his disease progressed my loss was felt long before he actually passed. Each day was different. Little remissions followed by more challenging times. I felt that although he was the one who was sick I was the one who was dying. I feel honored to have been able to care for him until the end. Now the big void is apparent. Thank you for reminding me that life is precious and needs to be valued in all its stages.
Roberta
ROberta
My heart really does go out to you and in fact you bring up a great point which I will blog about today…in fact here it is http://www.blisstree.com/widowsquest/when-you-feel-you-are-dying/
I always feel that the fuel for hearts is love and when someone dies there is a reduction in our fuel intake….but we can and we will rebuild…it will just take time. I know yesterday I went through the motions of life but I wasn’t living, I wasn’t really present…but I have faith that I will be…why? Because the love of our loved ones will guide us through….
Hopefully this community will help support you through these tough times…they are wonderful people, wonderful
Anna xx
You are right, Anna. Life is very precious. We should treasure each and every minute. Thank you for letting us share your bedside vigil and now your profound loss of someone as precious to you as your Nana. It helped me to remember once again just how precious life is. I had been feeling a little sorry for myself lately but your wonderful act of sharing just brought back to me how much I should appreciate life and all its wonders. I have much to be thankful for and Rick would want me to get on with my life with a zest for living. You are a courageous
and caring person and I wish you nothing but peace and happiness from here on in. I know your Nana is looking down with pride on her granddaughter.
I do hope your Mum has come through this okay. My love to both of you.
Leslie
Vilma thank you so much . I cannot believe the support I have received and it has meant the world to me…the world xx
Leslie – I am thankful for your words. I am conscious that this blog is to help people cope with grief not descend them into a great depth of despair! My writing about my feelings has been difficult as I want to be honest with how I feel and yet not bring back painful memories for others. I hope I have achieved some kind of balance…I kiss her hankie each night and tell her that I love her as much today as I have always done…that hankie will be my comfort and also my reminder that she was proud of me because I was a fighter….not a quitter
Mum is doing OK, she has just gone down with flu…not surprising with the stress she has been under and she is almost 80. I think she will be better after the funeral…this time between is so hard isn’t it..you have seen death but not quite said goodbye?
Love to you always and I will pass on your thoughts to mum
Anna