Cycle of Grief – Part 3

This week we have been discussing the cycle of grief. Today, we will talk about the 3rd stage which is anger and guilt.

For me personally, this was the most difficult to get through and again it is common to experience anger, guilt or sometimes both. You are not alone and you are not failing because you have these thoughts. I constantly kept asking “Why?” “Why, did it happen?” “Why did he have to suffer when he has lived such a good life?” ” What could I have done differently?”

The only answer is that the only certainty in life is death. Your faith can help, talking helps but ultimately you will realise these powerful feelings are normal and again your minds way of trying to rationalise an extremely sad event. Emotion is powerful, it may hurt but it is also a great part of life – and this anger will subside. You need to come to terms with, as shocking as the news is, it has happened. You can never change the past, but you can change the future. If necessary, join a charity that helps how your spouse died, or volunteer for a campaign, or visit the sick. Find your way of channelling the anger into something positive that will change the future.

For me it was a personal decision to really look after my family, to love them unconditionally and to ensure that they know they are loved. I now ensure that despite a busy life, I always find time to give willingly to making my family safe and happy.