Comments on: Eternal Love

By: Deb

Deb — Mon, 22 Jun 2009 18:24:53 +0000

Maggie and Leslie, I agree with what both of you are saying, as the year approaches next week I often find myself thinking “how many years ahead of this” instead of just taking each moment as it happens. I am in the process of making all the decisions for my vacation and for finishing my unfinished basement…I am not happy to be doing this alone and have had a good deal of anger for Dave not being here, I know that is normal and am okay with that but I also wonder if I am doing these things to give artificial purpose to my days?? When I really slow down and no trip ahead and house is done…what will I do, what will move me to get up and quit being a hermit and engage in life again, I am hopeful with sites like this and input from many places I will find the answer. Anna’s “numb” feeling was the perfect word for my father’s day as I missed my own and I missed Dave, who had two children, one still living. I hope we all slowly find our strengh and confidence on this journey, it is confusing and yet full of self-discovery it seems.

Deb

By: Anna FArmery

Anna FArmery — Mon, 22 Jun 2009 17:47:49 +0000

It is such a fine balance re thinking about the future and coping today…I have posted today how I TRY and cope…emphasis on Try!

http://www.blisstree.com/widowsquest/planning-for-the-future/

I remember as well what Dad told me…no matter how long a journey always remember it starts with the first step

By: Planning for the future : Widows Quest - Redefine Yourself and Rediscover Life after a Loss

Mon, 22 Jun 2009 17:42:04 +0000

[...] this post after seeing some wonderful comments from Maggie and Leslie in response to the post Eternal Love. Leslie [...]

By: maggie parkinson

maggie parkinson — Sun, 21 Jun 2009 15:59:23 +0000

Hi Leslie, I think to far into the future too ‘What is going to become of me…how will I cope with the loneliness…’ all that sort of stuff too. but I quite agree, that each day seems to be manageable. Some part of each day may get very tough, but then it passes, someone smiles, or I have a conversation with someone, or the garden looks lovely. thank you for what you said, because it reminds me that some of my worst moments are when I try to figure out too far into the future.

Bereavenment is so confusing. I never felt any of these things before. I never felt so at sea as I am now. I was joined at the hop to my husband for 30 years. One of the biggest challenges for me is to find confidence in my own decision making skills. Perhaps like many marriages, he handles so much of the practical things in our lives. Now I am beginning to find that some of the decisions I have made were OK, and that builds a little confidence.

Does anyone else find this?

By: Leslie

Leslie — Sat, 20 Jun 2009 00:13:31 +0000

Funny, I’m feeling numb tonight too, Anna. It’s so inspiring to read these words. I will smile and think of Rick tonight and hopefully tomorrow will seem brighter. I think what I am doing lately is thinking too far in the future and all I can see is a life of loneliness. I should be concentrating on each day as it comes and I have had some really good ones lately.
Thanks for writing down your thoughts. This came just at the right time for me.