Explaining grief….
June 16, 2009 by Anna Farmery
Filed under Grief
Grieving is so hard to explain, that I wonder why as human beings we even try to explain? Maybe it is just me but somehow I want to try and explain the feeling and in reality there are no words that fully describe bereavement, mainly because it changes so fluidly.
It just made me think how for all the words we have in the world, we cannot explain
It just made me think how for all the words in the world why try, as it won’t help someone understand unless they have suffered the same grief?
It just made me think that we would hurt so much less if we just didn’t think!
I agree, Anna, that grieving is so hard to explain to those who have not gone through it and I have given up trying I think. However, having others who have gone through it use their words to me to describe their journey has helped me tremendously. Just being warned by them that it would be a “fluid” situation and I would not progress in a linear fashion helped me. Knowing in advance that the second year might have worse moments than the first helped. I was lucky to know that taking care of my physical well being was so important and it led me to find a better physician. Being aware that there are occasional days when nothing will lift the sadness kept me from obsessing when it happened.
The words of those who walked this path before me have worked their magic many times and I am forever grateful.
I am sorry that I missed the widow’s gathering but I had a part of my family visiting down here for a week. Since they live all over the country, I never want to miss a minute with them when I am graced with their presence. If that doesn’t work, I go visit them!!
Hello, Anna (and all) — I have not fallen off the face of the earth, but instead I am just so busy with life. Trying to get my house ready to put on the market and will be retiring from my job this coming Thursday. Exciting times and lots of changes. I still want to keep up with my friends (and the very good support group) that I have found here. So I will be checking in with y’all from time to time.
I had a bad spot of grief recently, and two events triggered this: one was the one-yr anniversary of Greg’s death, and the other was finding out (that same week) that a man I thought was serious about me, had instead started dating someone else. As they say, God closes one door and opens another. Since that very bad week-plus, I have found a man who seems very sincere and DOES want me in his life. So I am once again smiling and hopeful.
And I SO agree that we would hurt a lot less, if we didn’t think so much! But then, we ARE only human. And thinking brings up memories – some good, some poignant.
Jessica it is so good to hear from you….can you make our online meeting that we have started next month? If you look at todays post it has the link to the details http://www.blisstree.com/widowsquest/planning-for-the-future/ would be great to talk to you…
It seems as though we are all coping with anniversaries at the moment and having those dips in energy and emotion….I try and smile, because for me the sadness shows the love has survived all the grief and remains as strong as ever. Are you moving closer to friends and family?