Facing the Future Alone
June 24, 2009 by Anna Farmery
Filed under Affirmations of Life
Facing the future as a widow or widower is difficult as you struggle to leave the past behind. Indeed you don’t want to leave the memories. I believe we need to think about
One to lose the desire to live in the past
One to to find a desire to live for the future
It is not easy that is for sure. We must draw on the fact that we have desire when you think about it….because we desire our loved one back in our life. It is not the desire that is missing, it is the ability to use that desire to live our life forward not backwards.
You may be reading this and thinking “I can’t”, well I spoke to my friend who lost her husband three years ago and she said “Today, I woke up and suddenly started thinking about the future. I live with the pain today, the memories of the past but now with the desire to live life to the full”
If you are down today, you may want to cry…that is fine. But never lose that belief…belief will see us all through the grief.
Dear Anna,
I have been down this past week but am coming out of it slowly. I do have a desire to look to the future. The one thing that has kept me going is knowing that this too will pass and I will come out on the other side. I think sometimes I just wish I didn’t have to go through any of the pain. I think we have all had our share of that. I guess that the pain will play a part in who we are and who we will become.
I have taken some steps to look to the future. I have contacted a real estate agent who is a good friend and on Sunday will start looking for condos. I think leaving the family home will be hard but also cathartic.
Last night I attended the graduation of my granddaughter from Grade eight. For those of you in other countries that is the end of elementary school. She enters Grade nine and high school. She was the valedictorian and did a wonderful job. Seeing those bright eyed kids, excited and looking to the future can’t help but give one hope. When I get down this will be one more thing for me to think about and make me smile. It was bittersweet since her grandfather wasn’t there to see her but as I wrote in her card ” he’s smiling today”.
As I have quoted before we must “Heal the Past. Live the Present. Dream the Future.”