Good grief!
March 9, 2009 by Anna Farmery
Filed under Grief
Today I had three different people say to me phrases that seem alien to me. They were
Good grief!
X is causing me grief today!
I am dead worried
Mmm I stopped in my tracks a little and wondered why people use such phrases – I mean to me grief can never be good, and can you really say a problem in life is like grief? Maybe it is just the thought of a bereaved person but it made me think where do these phrases come from – does anyone know? I am off to Google to see if I can find an answer….
Also do you notive yourself saying them now or has death stopped you from using the phrases..just nosey as I have noticed I am much less likely to say words that are associated with loss?
I have to laugh at the phrase “Good Grief” because my grandma used that phrase when she was annoyed and that was many years ago! She did that to avoid actually using a cuss word in front of the children.
I reacted to the term “sleeping like the dead” lately. I had mixed feelings because it reminded me of losing my Don to cancer but it also reminded me of all of the insomnia I have had since he died 18 months ago. Sleeping pills don’t work and I just keep hoping it will work itself out someday since I am always so tired.
I have gone through so many stages, and phases , of grief but the insomnia still saps the energy I need to really move on.
As I recall, “Good grief!” was a phrase used by the Charlie Brown character in the cartoon series, and also (same character) in the comics section of our American newspapers. Never gave it much thought, not even after my own loss. Maybe that’s because it is so ingrained with the American way of life? It has been long enough after my spouse’s death, that I do not react to “sleeping like the dead”. Strangely enough, those who know that I am widowed will sometimes “catch” themselves if they inadvertently use that phrase around me.
Cindy – not trying to poke my nose in here – but have you talked with a doc about the insomnia? You really, my dear, NEED your sleep. For about 3 months after my hubby’s death, I could not sleep without taking a half-tab of Benadryl. It made me just drowsy enough to drift off. If I took the whole tablet, I had a sort-of Benadryl “hangover” – not alert enough to function. When I returned from spending time with my family in another state, I was able to go to sleep without the aid of the half-tab. But DO talk with someone about the insomnia, if you haven’t already done so.
One thing that has helped me with my sleeping has been trying to listen to my breathing. In doing that it shuts out all the other things i was thinking about. I also now cuddle one of my cats! Just the fact that another body is next to me helps to ease the loneliness. He loves it and in the purring I know I am making someone happy….oh gosh I sound as mad as a hatter don’t I!