Grief is Not About Age

Yesterday I wrote about Words that make me shiver and smiled when the first two comments were about age. I smiled because people seem to think that when you are older you should be able to cope better – after all you have had the wonder of love for longer. The problem is that you have learned to rely on that love as part of your life for longer…

Then there are the people who lose their loved one when they are younger, they get comments like “There are many more fish in the sea” or “you are still young”…as if that helps heal that sense of devastating loss.

Age for me is not a factor in grief  – I remember my Nana losing her husband when she was in her 80’s and she was devastated. OK she realised that it was a natural part of the life cycle but she missed him. She sat there saying that she just wanted to go to sleep and be with him, she had never spent a night apart except during the war and she didn’t want to now. Nana is now 98 and although she is well, there is something missing. Her life has less meaning. She loves us all, however our love is not the one she wants…Age does not lesson the grief.

Grief is hard for all widows and widowers…it is not about age, it is about love and it is about loss. The only difference is that when people are older there is a greater expectation of the power of nature….Nana will die, I know that but do you know I will miss her more than words can say….she has been at the core of who I am for all my life.