Happiness, Sadness and Hope in Grief
May 2, 2009 by Anna Farmery
Filed under Blogs and Resources
Widows Quest had its first get together last night. We used Gotomeeing which mean that we all logged on to a website and we could all hear each other and talk to each other (Well almost Leslie!)
It was wonderful and my only hope is that we have more people join us next month…as just being together for an hour so helped me so much. Hearing others talking about coping with grief, knowing they truly understood the pain, feeling the love and support was fantastic! We plan another event at the beginning of June so watch out for details.
But I want to reach a Widows Quest hug out to Mary today who is bravely facing he wonderful husbands birthday today and Leslie who said today she is walking for her husbands cause. I wondered what a hug would be like, I think it would be
H = Hoping that you get the chance today to celebrate the life as feel the pain of the loss
U = Understand you are not alone, each one of us sends their love and are thinking about you
G = Grieving never means you lose the loss, but friendship means that you learn to cope….here is our friendship given
willingly!
A HUG a day will keep the depression at bay!
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Thanks for the good wishes, Anna. Dear Mary, my thoughts are with you today. This friendship we have developed online has been a godsend to me. I feel closer than ever to the Widows Quest community after hearing some of your voices’ last night. Actually our walk is tomorrow, and we just registered this afternoon and our team has raised around $1500.00 so far. We are hoping to reach $2000.00 by tomorrow when we walk. If any of you out there have lost your spouse to a disease I urge you to look for that cause’s fundraising effort in your area and get involved. It is very empowering to meet with others like you and to help the cause at the same time. I am not a religious person but I still can’t help but feeling that my husband knows what we are doing in his honour and is proud of us.
Leslie, I so wanted to hear your voice! There must have been some switch that needed to be turned on for your mic settings. It took some fiddling on my PC (not a Mac–wink) to get it working. I had gotten a new headset and was thankful that it worked! That was the first time I’ve ever used voice chat.
You keep coming up with ways to empower yourself, heal yourself, and make your way on this new journey. That’s why I urge you to have a blog. I really feel that your experiences can help other people. Even if you write about the day-to-day experience of coping with your loss. I can understand, too, if that might be too much on your plate at this point. You have a gift.
The support of your family is wonderful. I’ll be thinking of you all today. Is there a way to make a donation? The American Cancer Society has team websites for donations. Does your organization have something similar?
Anna, dear Anna, what a good friend you are! I certainly appreciate the hug. It was lovely to speak to (and hear) you and Deb. I hope others will join us. I think the conversation helped me with Michael’s birthday on Saturday. Things are getting better. I didn’t end up calling his family after all, and I didn’t hear from them either. But that was really ok, because I think it means we’re all letting go a little and continuing to heal. In the morning I listened to some favorite songs, danced around the living room, and cried (of course). Since we lived across the street from a little lake, I went there at sunset to listen (really listen) to the birds. He loved fishing and just being out there surrounded by nature. I always feel him there. I finished up the evening by going to a one-woman show about the author Zora Neale Hurston. It was spectacular; the audience was seated on the stage, so it was a very intimate performance. That was another shared interest,and it felt like I was honoring him by going to the show. All in all, it was a good day (especially because the sun was shining!)
Mary, we are working on that mic for next time. To answer your question about the website for donations, yes there is one. It is springsprint.ca. That will guide you through how to donate. There are several cities having sprints. Mine is in London, On. Sounds like you coped well on Michael’s birthday. We are all stronger than we ever imagined, aren’t we? Today was a very good day. The walk was really good. The weather was lovely, the people were wonderful and I had twenty people, friends and family, back to my house for a barbecue. We remembered Rick and felt very close to one another. Another milestone over. Every one gives me more strength. Sometimes it’s really difficult but the good days are starting to outnumber the bad. I used to feel guilty when I thought that way but I am trying really hard to live every day to its fullest because that’s the best way to honour Rick’s memory. And, as you well know, Widows Quest is a godsend and has saved many a day for me in the last year. So, love to all of you out there and a big thank you to Anna.
I am so glad that you both got through this weekend, what lovely ways to remember both Rick and Michael. I always find I am at my most peaceful when I am actively doing something in their honour or for them or just sat in one of our favourite places……I feel connected.
I have popped over to the site and hopefully added a little to the cause….good luck in raising a huge total.