Happy Anniversary, Mary
September 2, 2008 by Anna Farmery
Filed under Grief
One of the regular readers of the blog is Mary and I wanted to share with you that this would have been her 8th wedding anniversary. She is a wonderful example of how helping others helps to heal the pain of losing your husband. If you would like to see the songs that remind her of her husband and more of her story then you can check out her site called Mary at MySpace.
Mary my thoughts and love are with you today, in your grief remember the happy memories, remember the laughs, remember the love that you shared together. Losing love is painful however, remember that never loving at all must be even worse….love to you today x
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Thank you, Anna! I really appreciate the love and support. It hasn’t been as bad as I anticipated. I’ve had friends tell me that the second anniversary was harder than the first. Maybe it’s the expectation that as time passes, your heart will heal. Healing isn’t linear, though. I’m good at giving myself permission to feel what I feel. At the same time, I haven’t wanted to get stuck in a particular emotion. This morning I watched a dvd of our wedding reception that my brother-in-law put together. It was a noisy and fun celebration. It was so nice to hear Michael’s voice once again. Yes, it’s better to have loved no matter what the outcome.
Hugs,
Mary
Dear Mary,
I’m glad to hear that your day was better than you had anticipated. My thoughts are with you tonight.
This is a bittersweet month for me as well. My husband’s 65th birthday would have been this coming Sunday and our 44th anniversary is on the 12th. I am going to try to think of the good times and be thankful for all the wonderful years we had.
I too believe that loving is far better than never having loved no matter what. Love is what life is all about. It is the most human of emotions.
Again, my thoughts and good wishes are with you tonight.
Love,
Leslie
Dear Leslie,
Thank you for your kind wishes. I’ll be thinking of you and your husband on Sunday and on your anniversary, too. My heart goes out to you.
Love,
Mary
Gosh all these events in September, we will need to strong for each other. I think it is wonderful when you can find a way of celebrating the happiness rather than mourning the loss. I know that I always have a meal – his favourite – invite friends who knew us both, laugh and share stories. This way I feel he is with us as well
September is a “biggie” for me, too. Greg’s birthday is the 20th, and it will be my first one without him. I know we all have to go through these and that the “firsts” are the toughest ones to mark. Like the words of the Rod Stewart song, “You’re in my heart, you’re in my soul” but then the rest of the words of that chorus no longer apply. Still… will be giving him an extra-big heart-hug on “his” day.
Jessica, I’ll be thinking of you on the 20th. Somehow knowing that all of us are going through these “firsts” this September makes it a little easier. My love goes out to you and all the widows and widowers reading this.
Leslie
My husband Michael believed that we were brought together by God and fate. I think there must be a divine connection that is drawing us all together at Anna’s site. It’s pretty amazing that there are so many dates to commemorate this month.
Jessica, I’m sending you a hug and will be thinking of you on Greg’s birthday. Coincidentally my late parents were married on September 20, 1942.
Anna, I love your idea of sharing a meal and stories with friends. Remembering the laughter and the smiles is such a comfort.
Hugs to all!
Mary