Happy Halloween

There was a time just after losing my loved one that I found every celebration or festival …..what is the word, as I was going to say stupid and I don’t mean that….I found them trivial.

Not because I am against the celebration but my grief meant that I found these kind of events so difficult to deal with, and faced with that difficulty I just wanted to hide from all that….jollity!

Tonight is halloween and I have really made an effort tonight…there are spiders webs, pumpkins, Happy Halloween posters…far too many sweets and loads of lights.

I decided that tonight I would revel in those happy little faces of those children, I would watch their naive smiles that have not been touched by the ‘horrors’  of life and feed off their happiness. I decided that instead of dreading their happiness, instead of resenting these kind of family ocassions …I would embrace the idea.

I think it is easy to hide behind a door…..it is much harder to face the world but tonight I want to spread that little bit of happiness which I so crave for….now all I need is the darkness to fall which on this occassion is a good thing!