Holding Back the Years
October 14, 2009 by Anna Farmery
Filed under Loneliness, Guilt & Depression
When you are feeling down or lonely, I don’t know about you but I tend to see the pain in my face. When I look in the mirror or catch my reflection in a window…all I see is an aging woman who I just don’t recognise.
I was trying to think the other day of the positives of getting old….?
- Experience to handle life?
- Memories to cherish
- Ability to help younger people develop and grow
- Family and extended family
- More comfortable in your own skin
Maybe because it is one of those days! (I need our Widows Quest Support Group Meeting this Friday) but then I thought of all the negatives
- aches and pains
- understanding life so much better and having a lack of energy to live it!
- pains and scars of life on the heart
Am I just feeling low? Maybe and yet I always look in the mirror and wonder what really is that great about getting old….do you think more about your age being a widow or widower or is it just me?
Oh Anna, I hope the support call this weekend IS exactly what you need and I am sorry I will miss it this month. I don’t fear aging, perhaps that is partly due to being married to someone so much older than me or to graduating from college at a very young age or what, I do not know but I see the years as a testament to my strength. They often say that getting old is not for sissies and I agree, we have lived through love and loss, but without that love wouldn’t the years have been longer….without this loss there are people and things you would not have experienced. Without living your years you would have missed out on so much and those years ahead, they are out there offering as much …yeah I know it is “rose colored” glasses but it is how I can go on, my faith in tomorrow, my faith in myself and my faith in seeing Dave again…that keeps me aging and not dreading it. Hope that makes sense, sometimes I rattle I know!
Deb
Wow, Deb, what wonderful words of wisdom! I know I’ve aged dramaticly (in my own mind, at least) from losing Michael. Part of it is having developed wacky sleep patterns. My work schedule is such that I stay up way too late and don’t get enough sleep. I went to my class reunion this summer,and everyone told me that I hadn’t changed since high school (39 years ago!) The miracle of hair color and wearing retro eyeglasses! But still, it was a nice boost to my ego. Michael had given me so much love, support, and appreciation that I’m still riding that wave. Anna, you listed the pluses and minuses of aging. Some things we can change, and others are out of hands. Know that you’re loved and supported by your friends here. Looking forward to talking with you on Friday!
Hugs,
Mary