How BIG is Your Heart
August 19, 2008 by Anna Farmery
Filed under Practical Tips on Grief
We know in our grief, that we have a huge heart – one that has loved and one that understands the meaning of love.
I think we need to dig deep into our hearts during our bereavement. We need to dig into the depth of our BIG heart – grief can make us shrivel from life, I know that I have felt that way! However, now I think it takes a big person with a big heart to cope with bereavement and use it to make the world a better place.
B = Be understanding that we were lucky to have loved, even if our loved one has been taken from us too early. Lets dig deep into our heart and forgive the loss and the pain. Because the pain has come because of the joy of having loved – many people never get the chance.
I = Instead of fearing love, now that we know the power of love, spend the rest of our lives bringing love to the life of others. We know that loneliness is an awful feeling, we can ensure that our family and friends never feel the pain of feeling alone, by being there for them.
G= Generous. We can either allow the grief to destroy us, or we can allow the grief to create positive change. By being generous to others, we are using our grief in a positive way. I know that my loved one would have wanted something good to come out of his death – I know give my time generously to other widows, terminal ill patients and charitable organisations.
I also know that this community has a BIG heart – you give me hope everyday…thank you x
These words are so true, I had never really thought about how much love there was ans still is.
Ann – I always feel that there is never enough love in the world…and we never realize until we feel the loss
Anna
I have never felt so lonely and depressed as I have since my husband died in 2004.
I try to smile and be positive but there is always like this sinking feeling.
Hazel – I so understand. The pain can be unbearable. Key for me was to set myself some small targets, something to look forward to…for instance I plan a cheap trip to maybe family or friends, or start a nightclass every now and then. We cannot – unfortunately – change what has happened and how we have felt, but we can start to live forward rather than staying in the past. I made a step change when I accepted what had happened, accepted that the loss was a fact, the only thing I could change was how I lived my life going forward. I can’t say I am “happy” everyday but I can say that now there are more better days, than low days…..I even mark on a calendar with coloured pens either a black day or a yellow to show me that I am making progress…My heart goes out to you and I hope that the thoughts on this site give you both comfort and hope