How do you start to rebuild your life?

When you suffer a tragedy of the loss of your loved one, the thought of rebuilding your life seems impossible. That is natural. Your life as it stands has been torn apart. However, I know this seems hard but life does go on, life is your life…not part of your life. The chapter may have come to an end but the story is still there to unfold. Here are my thoughts on rebuilding from your grief, I would love to hear your comments

R = Remain hopeful. I know that sounds strange, but hope is a natural energiser of positive steps. Write down 3 things that you hope for, then start working towards them.

E = Enjoy the company of friends and family. In time, laughing will not feel guilty but the natural pleasure of a human being. I know you will feel that you want to be alone, but force yourself out and eventually you will learn to smile again.

B = Be realistic with your feelings. You will have good days, you will have bad days…that is totally normal. Try not to see how you are coping now, but how you are coping over time. I set myself targets of happiness! How many nights I slept in a row, how many days since I cried…to show me that I was progressing.

U= Understand that the only way that your heart will mend is by allowing it to open up to the risk of being hurt again. Don’t be afraid to talk to the opposite sex, it is just talking….

I = Involve yourself in activities. The community is always looking for volunteers. By giving to others, you start to feel better about yourself and grateful for what you HAVE rather than what you have lost.

L =Long term goals are important so that you have something to work towards. Again set yourself targets and track your progress. Mine was losing the weight that I had put on during the lead up to his death. I set myself a long term target of getting fit, eating healthily and losing 56lbs…I have done it!

D = Decide to not hold on to the past. I don’t mean lose the memories, but the past is the past. There is nothing that you can do now to change events. Write down 3 things that you have learnt about life, learnt about yourself and think of ways that you can put those learnings into action.

[iStockphoto]