How to help a grieving widow or widower
June 2, 2009 by Anna Farmery
Filed under Practical Tips on Grief
Grief is hard not only for us but also for those around us. I often get asked what people should do for someone who has lost a family member.
Time and a hug are always great gifts but do you know what I appreciated most? Shopping!
My best friends from childhood came round with a weekly shop, she looked at me and said “I bet it is the last thing on your mind and you need to stay healthy”
Wow, do you know it was wonderful as I couldn’t face shopping – all those people, all those small decisions to make and of course starting to buy for one.
So as daft as it sounds shopping was a wonderful thoughtful gesture for me – what about you?
Hi Anna, For me the most helpful thing was to have best friends down here invite me over for dinner at least once a week after my beloved died. They loved him too and it was not uncomfortable to share memories of him, shed a tear; talk about everything else under the sun; laugh together too and share a lovely meal.
I always left relaxed and refreshed – and still do. They are my family in the south since I don’t have others living nearby. As for shopping, if I start to feel isolated in my home at any particular time I leave quickly and shop for anything, or nothing, just in order to be out and around other people. I don’t even buy all of my groceries all at once so I have an excuse if needed!! And there is always the bookstore! You do what you have to do!
Cindy – gosh I agree with that one, often on an anniversary I will cook his favourite meal – difficult to choose sometimes because he just loved all food! – and we will laugh and joke about his inability to eat without needing to wash his clothes straight after
I also think that the dinner helps my friends, they feel relaxed too…it is also nice to be able to go out and shop in large amounts..rather than those awful dinner for one amounts
Anna